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individulsong

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I am but a silent man. I have kept within me the trades of this world, for however long that I have been walking streets alone. Patient and willing, accepting my fate only because there is no other form of life than what I have become, of what I am. Blood runs through me, as it does other living things, but my thoughts are what make me the human that I can portray to be. My thoughts keep me connected to this world, rather than disappearing into another realm and ending my tragedies. If I did that, I would have never found my dear, sweet Olivia, but although I have her, what’s gone from me is the only child I have ever known.

It is against Vampiric Code to give birth to or to create a child vampire. Some may say that all we do is suck life from other living things, which in most cases, is true, but as a bodied people, we have felt that young children deserve a chance to live and be free of strife until it comes upon them at the appropriate adult age. Humans are primitive in that area as well. Keeping a child away from everything, until finally, there is nothing the child hasn’t discovered out of sheer curiosity. But, alas, I cannot keep to myself sometimes. I have to have, in those single moments, the beauty that only my mind’s eye can possess as true.

Rashel is gone. Is this a punishment because I created her at a young age? Is the punishment because I finally found my Olivia? Vampires do not just go about and stick a label on a young woman and posses her thinking until she loves him. That’s not how it works at all. The woman must fall in love with intentions of caring and understanding. It has happened, and Olivia is a prime example, though she is no longer mortal, true, she has still fallen in love with me. I have always loved her, since I saw her, knew her, met her. But my Rashel! Why my Rashel? What did she ever do to deserve to be taken away from me?

I know, young ones, that you can turn that around on me and say, “Well, Vandoule, if you put it that way, you didn’t have the right to take her away from her mother.” It is true, I didn’t have the right. The right was not there, but I took her away from human life and, in the process, created a family that would have been bound by a love greater than any form of life could ever multiply. But that is not enough. I am no father, and I am no husband. I am a dead thing walking this Earth in a cruse, holding on to no truth, no hope, and no extreme possibility of ever finding out what truth is left in me. I am filled with bitterness: dark beauties clouding my vision to where I can no longer discern what pathway is meant for me. I am a darkened warrior fighting no battle.

Do not fear what you do not know. A young body is a portal, as a mind is a key to something distant and unyielding.