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individulsong

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I couldn’t believe how I was flying. My feet were off the ground, and I was drifting father away from my body. I was spinning in a trance, listening to the beat of my heart click to the time of my step. My toes spiraled before me, stretching out and circling around the stage like a wondrous being, light and graceful. Falling through a maze that I could never reach, hoping that freedom would unbind my soul. I was clawing at my skin in my own mind, to shed the armor that held me from my true potential. Anger, frustration bewilderment, and a force driving me wild! I could feel it race through my blood, boil it, turn it blue! I needed to scream my pleasure as each movement swept my body and I thrust without knowing and I thrust without care.

It truly was an experience I will never forget. One, no matter how unearthly, that will mark me forever. That night, my life was misguided into something I had never conceived. You can only imagine my upbeat, adventurous spirit after that night in the tavern. Mr. Vandoule, the charm he emitted, swore to me and swooned me I would be all I could ever be, have all that I could ever want, and know the greatest pleasure in the world; one that would surf my internal being like a violent but gentle orgasm.

I was so sheltered, so unbelieving of the world and so afraid. But he was there to hold my hand and his touch burned like the heat of a raging fire, but soothed the beast within me like a skilled trainer of exotic animals. At first I couldn’t explain it, place it, feel it. If only I knew then what I know now.

Yes, my children, I gave in to the beauty of my beloved dancer. Whether she meant it, or not, which I am sure she did not, she wooed me with her gliding step, dashing smile, brown hair bouncing at the side of her slender arms, and the tint of honesty in her voice. Though I am a creature of the night, I am still the form of a man. Within the constraints of my mind, my eternal powers cannot cloud the truth for me. Olivia, I saw then, was my companion. Her aura was mine to have. I craved her beneath my skin, in my skin, to feel her life merge as one with my own. I am not so different from a living man. He has urges same as I, only I wish for more than lust or love. What I desired from Olivia is what I desire from anyone; friendship, faith, and morality in a world that I have been blindly living in, if you can call me living. I do not deny my fascination for want of blood. It is there in me, as it will always be, but important it is not. I care about the passion between two people. Can you not see, my loves, that I am merely a form of yourselves left to guide you away from the path of darkness? Take heed of this, for I have not yet succeeded. Again I show a weakness same as man, perfection.

After that night in the tavern, I knew Olivia could never go. I watched her elated smile light up each time we met from then on. Slowly, her fear began to dissipate. Each dance was filled with more vigor, more emotion, but I am selfish and kept her to myself.

            “Mr. Vandoule!” She would playfully whine, “When will others see me? I cannot be great if you are my only audience.”

            “In time, my dear, millions will see you. Do not jump too fast. There may come a time when you will not wish for eyes upon you, so, my child, we are simply dancing.” Each response was the same. Olivia, I gathered, was comfortable dancing for e, and although she was anxious for something new, she did not question my advice. “Dance, girl.” And so she did.

I had to be careful with her. Charm only goes so far, and the smallest thing could frighten her away from me. I wanted to win her with trust, though I am fairly certain, if had been the case, I would have forced her to me. But I am not pure evil, unlike popular belief. Is it wrong of me to want beauty, and to have it want me back? That is not so uncommon from you, now is it? Yes, I am like you; a beauty such as yourself, struggling to obtain recognition in a world that seems to think very little of me. Ah, but Olivia thought the world right away! And that, my darlings, is why she is mine.

As an imaginative soul I am cast out in wretchedness. Be fore warned, for, though he is gentle, wise, and beauty, he is nothing more than a monster.

Yes, she is mine.