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iBlonde94

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It was four days later, June 19th, and we were in Kansas City. I had pretended like I hadn’t heard Sonny say all those things that night. Matt seemed like he hadn’t told either. I had been hanging out with the guys at their tent and around the stage every day. I was getting pretty close to all of them now. Every time I got a little intimate with Sonny, the voice in my head would come back and remind me of how I looked.

Right now I was walking around the place with Sonny. We were on the way to the stage for their set. He was holding my hand. We had to stop every few seconds for him to sign autographs. The path ahead seemed to be clear so he asked me,

“Since we have a day off tomorrow, would you like to spend the night on our bus?” I was surprised at first. “You can sleep on my bunk, and I’ll sleep on the floor if that makes you feel comfortable.”

“I’d love to stay with you guys. We’ll see who sleeps where when the time comes,” I said with a smile. He kissed my cheek. My heart was beating so fast now as he smiled at me that I thought it would pop out of my chest, or at least that Sonny could hear it.

“What are you doing? Have you forgotten how ugly you are? He’s going to laugh at you when he sees you in your tiny pajamas. You stupid bitch,” the voice in my head said. My smile quavered, but I tried to block it out. I was going to have a good time with the guy that I loved. What more could I want?

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Sonny and I were lying down on his bunk. The other guys were already asleep. We were just cuddling and catching up even more. Right now we were talking about our hair.

Did you hear about Sonny?” Will asked me as we were playing video games on his bus.

“What about him?” I asked.

“His vocal cords are fucked up. They have to quit the tour so he can get surgery.” I dropped my controller.

“Oh my god, are you serious?” He nodded. “When are they leaving?”

“Probably in about an hour.”

“I gotta go.” I put my controller down and ran off the bus.

“Bye Stacey!” he yelled before I shut the door. I can’t believe none of the guys told me about this. Of course, I hadn’t been hanging out with them for a while. I was spending all my free time with Will. I was just trying to keep my mind off Sonny. I got in sight of their bus and saw they were all outside. I ran faster to them and Sonny went back in the bus. Travis picked me up in a hug.

“It’s been so long! Seven days without you! I don’t know how I’ve survived!” he shouted happily.
”“”
“Well, you’ve been hanging out with Will. We didn’t wanna ruin your happiness,” Derek said hugging me.

“Ruin my happiness?! You guys are my happiness.”

“What about Will?” Matt asked hugging me.

“Truth be told, I’m just trying to keep Sonny off my mind,” I said quietly hugging Wes. They all gave me sympathetic looks. “Uhh, do you think it would be okay if I went in and talked to him?”

“Do you want one of us to come to be safe?” Wes asked.

“No, I’d rather go alone.” I walked to the door and opened it slowly. I walked up the stairs with my stomach flipping. “Sonny?” I called out. No one came. I called his name again. He came from the back of the bus.

“Stacey?” he asked shocked. His voice sounded really bad. He could barely even talk. “Wh-what are you doing here?”

“I don’t know. I just wanted to talk to you before you left.”

“I’m glad you’re here. I thought you wouldn’t want to be alone with me.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“I just didn’t want you to think I was scared of you or that I hated you. I didn’t want you to leave while we were on a bad note.”

“So, how are things with Will?”

“Fine. How did you even know we were hanging out?”

“I, umm, saw you two kissing in Nashville.”

“Oh, about that. I was just caught up in the moment. I had been upset earlier and he helped me. It was no big deal.”

“That’s not what it looked like from where I was standing.”

“Well, that’s what it was!” I said angrily.

“Don’t yell at me.”

“I’m not yelling. Would you like me to yell?” I asked getting louder.

“Yeah, yell at me,” he screamed standing up.

“Okay, why don’t you grow up and get over the fact that you hurt me physically. I mean, obviously, I’m not hurting emotionally either. It’s not killing me. So goodbye, Sonny Moore!” I screamed as loud as I could. “And to think, I actually loved you,” I said softly as tears came to my eyes. I ran outside and slammed the door. Matt grabbed me before I got completely away.

“What happened?” he asked concerned.

“He needs to get his head out of his ass and realize he’s not the only one hurting. I’ll keep in touch with you guys.” I gave them all hugs and kisses and ran away. I jumped on my bus to find Devin playing video games. The sound was up, and he didn’t notice me. I went in the bathroom and crouched over the toilet. The chunks rose without any force. I stuck my fingers down my throat a couple more times. I passed out holding onto the seat.

”Sonny Moore in the third seat,” the teacher said. “Stacey Moore in the fourth seat.” I walked down the row and sat where I was told. It was the first day of sixth grade, and I didn’t know anyone. My street got rezoned, so I had to leave all my old friends behind this year. Sonny turned around and said,

“We have the same last name. That must mean we’re married.” He smiled and turned back around. I blushed. He turned back around in a couple of minutes and said, “You’re really pretty. Wanna sit by me at lunch today?” I nodded my head and blushed again. He smiled and turned back around again.

“Who’s in there? Come out right now!” Devin shouted as he banged on the door. I flushed the toilet and wiped off my runny eyeliner and mascara. I opened the door and said,

“Oh my god, Devin, I’m really sorry. I must have fallen asleep when I sat down after fixing my makeup. My bad.” He eyed me suspiciously.

“Whatever, just get out of my way. I gotta piss.” I got out and laid down on my bunk. I remembered the flashback I had when I passed out. The first day I met him and I started to have feelings for him. If only I would’ve known then what was going on now. I would’ve never talked to him. I fell asleep not wanting to think about him anymore.

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Two days later and we were in Houston, Texas. I had been walking around like I was in a trance. I never really noticed what I was doing. The only time I ever felt anything was when I would make myself throw up. I had found a scale when I went to a drug store one day and weighed myself. I weighed 68 pounds now. I had lost 12 pounds since the beginning of this tour only 15 days ago. I had to admit that I did look sick.

“Come on Stace. Let’s go back to the bus,” Will said walking into the bathroom. I jumped off the scale and my face flushed. “What’s the matter?” he asked looking at the scale.

“You just scared me, that’s all,” I said walking past him out of the bathroom.

“How much do you weigh?”

“It doesn’t matter. I’ve told you before anyway. Let’s go, like you said.” He nodded and took my hand. We walked to the buses. We stopped at the back of his bus and made out for a minute. I pushed him away and said, “I thought we were gonna play video games. Not make out.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot. I was blinded by your beauty.” He kissed my lips again.

“Stop, I’m being serious.”

“So am I.” I walked on the bus and no one else was on there. I sat down in front of the TV and turned it and the Playstation on. I started playing the NASCAR game in there until Will put my controller down. I looked at him angrily. He picked me up and set me down on his bunk. He got next to me and started kissing me.

“Can’t I just play the freakin video game? Why do we have to do this now?” I asked as he sucked on my neck.

“You would rather play a video game than be with me?” he asked straddling me.

“Well, if we both play then I will be with you. Let’s go.”

“No.” He started kissing me again. I kissed back so he would stop soon and let me play the video game. He started to unzip my pants. I stopped kissing and moved my head.

“I don’t wanna do this anymore. We’re going too far too fast.” He took off my pants. “Will stop!” He took off his pants and started taking off my panties. “Will, I said stop god damn it!”

“No, you’re going to do this with me. I can’t believe you haven’t given it up to me yet anyway. I picked you because you looked easy. Now shut the fuck up and do this!”

“No, I don’t want to! I can’t believe you think I’m easy! Do you know how much trouble you can get into for doing this?” My panties were off and he took off his boxers.

“Tell and I’ll hurt you so bad that you couldn’t possibly testify in court. Shut up and act like you enjoy it.” I just laid there as he had his way with me. I felt numb again. I wish Matt were still here, or Derek, or any of them actually. They wouldn’t have let Will do this to me. After a while, I started to hear noises outside.

“Please, come on the bus and save me,” I silently pleaded. The noises went away and Will stopped soon after.

“Thanks for the fuck. Remember what I said if you tell anyone. Get the hell off my bus until I call you again for a fuck,” Will said rolling over off of me. I grabbed my pants and underwear and slipped them on quickly. I was zipping up my pants when I stepped off the bus. The rest of the guys from The Academy Is… were coming.

“Hey Stacey!” they all said waving. I managed a small smile and a nod of the head. I started running but stopped soon. The numbness was wearing off. I could feel my whole body aching, especially in the lower half of my body. I fell to the ground near a bus with some people standing outside of it. I rolled on my back and started shaking. My whole body was cramping up. I passed out as I saw someone running to me.

“Someone call 911 or something! Get Devin!” I heard someone yelling. I groaned with pain. It felt like I had just ran 3 miles and done about 1,000 push-ups. I opened my eyes to see a guy with blonde hair looking at me worried. I recognized him as the singer from Cartel.

“I gotta go,” I said trying to move. He put his arms on me and held me down.

“You’re not going anywhere,” he said forcefully. I started crying. His actions were making me think of Will. I thought he was going to rape me right out there in the open.

“Please, don’t hurt me.” His face softened.

“Why would you think I’d hurt you? I’m trying to help you. My name is Will, by the way. What’s yours?” Holy shit. His name was Will too. I cried harder.

“My name’s Stacey,” I said through sobs.

“Shh, no more crying. Why are you crying so much?”

“Umm, I just hurt really bad.” He nodded and asked,

“Is Devin your boss?” I nodded. “I thought you looked familiar. I’ve seen you around.” I didn’t say anything. “I’m the singer of a band called Cartel.”

“I know. I’ve watched you guys a lot. I really like your music and especially your music video.” He smiled.

“Thanks. What’s wrong? Why did you pass out?”

“I started hurting really bad and stopped running and I fell on the ground and my whole body was cramping up. I don’t know why I passed out though.”

“I bet you’re dehydrated.” I shrugged my shoulders. Devin came running up and I could hear sirens in the distance.

“Oh my god, Stacey, are you okay?” he asked frantic.

“Yeah, I just cramped up and passed out,” I said calmly to try to loosen Devin up.

“Well, the ambulance is coming. You’re probably gonna have to spend the night at the hospital, so I’ll get you a plane ticket to meet us in Selma.”

“But Selma’s two days away. What am I supposed to do all alone?”

“We can get someone else to stay with you. I will. I’ll just tell everyone to do what they did today for tomorrow.”

“Okay, I guess. Thanks.” He smiled and got in the ambulance with me when they got there. Will waved at me as they put me in.

“See you soon,” he said before the doors closed. After the paramedic had questioned me I fell asleep. Today was so exhausting, and to think, I couldn’t tell anyone what really happened.