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It was 1:15, and her shift was over. She didn't have to clock out, because when she decided she was done, it was so. It was three or four hours from daylight, and she began the long walk down the sidewalk to her apartment with $1,000 in her long jacket's pocket.

Janet Bowles was fortunate. She was the only one of her "coworkers" who wasn't hooked on meth or some other chemical drug. She just liked some pot here and there. It was cheap and nonaddictive, or at least that's what she had always been told. Recently, she had been beginning to wonder. She had also tried cocaine, but, luckily, nothing resulted. She hadn't paid rent in two or three months, and $1000 would cover it and then some if she could just keep her mind. Janet would not let herself waste this money.

She wiped the sweat and dirt from her forehead and kept walking, though her strappy shoes were digging into her feet. Janet had to take off her heels. She stopped and bent to pull them off. She was done working anyway.

All of a sudden, out of nowhere, she was pushed to the ground by strong hands. Janet screamed, but it was useless on the empty sidewalk that paralleled an empty street that paralleled another empty sidewalk. Seeing as how she had no pockets on her skimpy, dirty red dress, only her jacket was stripped from her as her face was pressed to the concrete.

"Feel that against your temple?" The grimy voice of the attacker asked.

"Yes," she mumbled horrified.

"That's a gun. Don't get up until I'm long gone. You got that?"

"Yes," Janet said, identically to the way she had muttered it only five seconds earlier.

"I like this," he said sleazily. "Finally a girl who doesn't tell me no!" He laughed. "But you've had practice at that, right?"

The mugger stood up holding Janet's jacket and finally getting his knees out of her back. He spoke again. "I hope you're a rich whore. You are pretty." Janet wanted to puke at this violation. "I know," he said with a sudden sharpness, one that she didn't like. "Why don't you show me where you live and see if you can earn this money back," he suggested, flipping through the bills. "Get up!" he shouted, holding the gun to her temple once more. "I could become a regular customer."

Janet got up, letting the mysterious mugger grab her arm from behind her. She led him half a block or more to her apartment building where her landlord greeted her. "Where's this month's rent?" She didn't give Janet a chance to answer. "Good, lord. Who's your friend?" She was annoyed. "Listen, I won't have that kind of monkey business going on in my building! It's amazing I even let a prostitute move in!" At this time, the mugger had his arm around Janet's waist and the gun behind her back where the landlord couldn't see it. "Do whatever elsewhere." Her deep New Jersey accent cut Janet to the bone, much like her shoes that she'd been forced to leave behind.

"I can't pay you right now. I promise I will tomorrow," Janet managed shakily. She didn't know if she should risk trying to tell the landlord what was happening. The mugger stayed silent.

"How many times have I heard that?"

The irony of the situation crashed into Janet's conscious. She's never meant it when she'd said it before, and yet, she was still given chances. Now that she really was planning on paying rent, she couldn't and was being kicked out. What would her attacker do now?

Her landlord made sure to say, "I hope your client has a place for you to stay, maybe where his wife won't know, because you're not staying here tonight!"

"I'll see you tomorrow, Baby," he played, kissing Janet on the neck slowly, stretching his neck over her shoulder. The landlord went into the building mumbling. When she was long out of hearing range, "The only reason I'm not taking you into some alley," he started, "is because there isn't one close by, and your not worth a long walk." He left her with those words and a violent shove. She never saw his face.

Janet took his previous advice about not moving. Finally, it was silent. She crawled under the stairwell of the apartment building she'd just been forbidden from entering. She knew there'd be change taped to the bottom of the third step from the top. She'd taped just enough there for two phone calls on a payphone.

Ripping the money from the cold concrete, Janet rolled out from under the stairs. Standing, she ran to the near-by payphone. The only problem: Whom would she call?

Janet waited on the black Plymouth. It was lucky for her, maybe a sign, that the wind had blown the way it had exactly when it had. The only problem—how would she survive even one night with a preacher? Her uncle was a preacher. She hadn't seen him in three years, and that was at a family reunion. Now, she had only come in contact with him by Fate, and nothing else in this world could have done it.

Janet had been standing at the payphone sorting her thoughts. All of a sudden, a cold, harsh wind smacked her in the face. She shivered and rubbed her arms. Her bare feet were sore with cold. They, besides the pain, felt numb. Her feet were just awake enough, however, that she could feel the card hit her toes. She bent down to pick up her distraction from the cold, and familiarities pieced together in her mind. The business card read:

Harry Bowles. He was Janet's only blood-related uncle. He was the only one she could call, so she did. As she sat nearly numb from the windchill, she thought back on their phone conversation and her surprise at his kindness.

"Hello? Harry Bowles, pastor of Almighty Christ Baptist Church. Can I help you with something?" That had been a mouthful. He had moved to New York from Georgia, and that, by his accent alone, was obvious.

"Uh, hi," Janet said nervously. She hadn't actually expected an answer at the hour it was. She hesitated and almost hung up.

"You there?"

"Yeah. Um, this is Janet."

"Janet?" He was confused. "I'm sorry. I don't know you by your name. You've gotta forgive me. I have a lotta names to remember!" He chuckled a rich, warm chuckle.

"I'm Janet Bowles. I'm your-" She cleared her throat. "I'm your niece."

"Oh," he said shocked. "We kinda lost touch, didn't we?"

"Yes, sir." She breathed deep. "I'm alone. I don't really have anywhere to stay. Um, do you think, somehow, you could come get me?"

"Sure! Where are you?" He hardly gave her a second to tell him before he continued rambling. "Oh, my goodness! It's really late!"

Janet's thoughts on this phone call were interrupted by the roar of an engine. She stood from her seat on the sidewalk, still shivering. "Get on in the car!" Uncle Harry shouted. Janet jogged to the passenger's side door, opening it hurriedly. "Thanks," she said, truly grateful.

"If ya ain't got family, who ya got?"

"I guess no one, sir." Janet looked down, ashamed of her skimpy dress. She wondered how much of her new life that her uncle knew about. She used to think she didn't care, but that was all before she had to come face-to-face with him.

"How long you need a place to stay?"

"Just one night. Really, this is nice of you." Janet wondered where Aunt Rachel was. She had always been her favorite aunt. She wasn't going to ask where she was, though.

"Well, you know what?"

He stopped talking, so Janet figured he was prodding her to answer him. "What?" she asked.

"Tomorrow's Sunday. Unless you leave before I get up, you're going to church."

Janet thought back to an old saying that she had always heard in Georgia when she was on vacation at Aunt Rachel and Uncle Harry's. She never understood why someone would be "sweating like a whore in church", but needless to say, she'd be uncomfortable in a place she hadn't been to in so long. "Well, I guess I have no choice, especially if you still rise with the sun."

Harry chuckled the same warm chuckle he done on the phone. It was the kind of chuckle that you'd expect a hefty fellow like him to have. "Indeed I do, darling." The rest of the car ride was hopelessly filled with awkward silence. Janet hummed a little "Amazing Grace". Maybe that would clear Uncle Harry's mind of any questions about her. Too bad she'd forgotten she was wearing practically nothing.

They pulled into the parking lot of the apartment building, and Janet got a craving like she had never experienced, but she knew what her body wanted. She'd only done cocaine three times, but she was ready for more. Maybe that's because her uncle happened to live in the same apartment building as the dealer she'd gotten from.

"We're here!" her uncle said with a smile. "We need to try to get in bed as soon as possible." Even with these words, Uncle Harry didn't get out of the car, and the smile faded from his face. "There's some stuff you should know so you don't have to worry or wonder. Aunt Ra died last year. You'll be sleeping in her bed." Confusion didn't disguise itself on Janet's face. "During our last years together, your Aunt Rachel and I had some troubles. I don't really believe in divorce, and I had to stay strong for the congregation. It would get people talking and gossiping if we lived in separate places."

"Okay," Janet said, just going through the motions. Her craving was becoming too much, though. Somehow, she made it all the way up one flight of stairs and to the apartment marked 94. The door was unlocked, and Janet barged in. She sat down on the couch, feeling the insatiable itch beneath her skin. She felt a bead of sweat trickle down her forehead.

"You okay, Darlin'?"

"I feel sick," she barely uttered.

"You need a doctor?"

"No. I just-" She was going insane, she was sure of it. "I just need to sleep it off."

"You sure?"

"Yes..."

"Okay. Your bedroom's there."

"Thanks."

"Goodnight."

"Night." Janet stayed in her bed sweating till sunlight. She noticed it was 6:30. Her uncle wasn't awake yet, or at least if he was, she hadn't sensed signs. Janet sat up in bed. A picture of Harry was on the bedside table. Had Aunt Rachel kept it there? Then, the sound of doom. Uncle Harry's happy whistle bent itself through the doorway just after the sound of the front door opening and closing. The smell of coffee drifted in just following the sounds. The jingle of keys being put in a pocket and the sound of footsteps trodding to the door. "You just getting' up? You look tired. Didn't get much sleep? Go back to bed. You don't have to get up for three more hours."

Janet groaned and smacked her exhausted head to the pillow she had just lifted it from. Her tired eyes slammed permanently, or so it seemed. In only three hours Janet would have to shower. Then, after further preparation, she would go to church.

After that three hours had passed, and Janet was in the shower there were lots of things to think about. On her way in, she had noticed that one flight of stairs up was her dealer's apartment, if he hadn't moved. She remembered passing her uncle's apartment several times, just to go upstairs and do God Knows What, and she never knew it was where he lived. The irony of this would've made Janet giggle, but it wasn't exactly funny.

"This should fit," Harry said, laying out a dress for Janet to try on. "Just, whatever happens, you're not wearing that little number you got on."

"Yes, sir." Janet wasn't sure why, but all of a sudden, she was being so respectful to her uncle. Probably because he offered her only alternative to homelessness. By now, Janet was sure that Harry knew about her prostitution and her drug problems. She felt she was an easy read.

What else was Janet to have done? She was an orphan. It was a horrible cycle of abuse and hatred every time she went to a different foster home, so one day, she just decided to leave. No one had seen her since, at least, no one that would know her. Living on the street, Janet met several people who would shape her course in life, and none of them cared a thing about her. Of course, to Janet, this was family. Her street family was truly all she had.

Money certainly isn't easy to come by, especially with limited education, so Janet did what she felt she had to do to survive. Now, she stood in front of a full-body mirror on the inside of the closet door. The dress was old, but it was beautiful. A gentle knock met the door. "Come in. I'm decent."

"That green looks beautiful with your green eyes and your brown hair."

"Thanks." There was a long silence as Janet turned in the mirror looking at herself from every angle. "Uncle Harry?"

"Yes?"

"How much do you really know about me?"

"I know, as your uncle, everything I need to. You're smart and pretty, and you have so much potential. You, actually, have too much potential to be wasting your life on the streets. We both know you probably can't get into college, but maybe you could yield your life to God, and he can take it from there."

Janet only gave a sarcastic chuckle. "I'm not that type."

"What type? Are you calling me typical? Christians are typical? A lotta people seem to be thinking that these days."

"That's not what I meant. It's just that I've done so much bad stuff that it's too late for me."

"There's no such thing as too late." A certain twinkle of his eye made her believe him, but she still wasn't sure if all that applied to her. "Goodness! It's time to get rolling. Let's go."

Sitting in the pew that she had chosen, Janet tapped her fingers on the section of cushioned bench next to her. These awkward uncomfortable moments were worsened whenever a member of the congregation came over to talk to her. She was always nervous about saying the wrong things.

Then, the awkward moments were momentarily interrupted. From across the church, she saw what was the most gorgeous man alive, she was sure of it. He had to be at least her age or older, though he had the face of an infant. His green eyes were a little lighter than hers, and he had light blonde hair that sat on top of his head like a halo. Disappointment sank Janet's hope a little at the thought that after that day she'd probably never see him again.

When he looked towards her, she quickly turned her head hoping he hadn't noticed her eyes resting on his heavenly face. For a few minutes, all Janet did was stare at the back of the pew in front of her hoping he wasn't still looking, and she tapped her fingers some more. Her hopes were shattered as a shadow assembled on her shoulder. She looked up. "Hi, I'm Grayson Harris." He smiled.

"I-uh-I'm Janet." Where Grayson had been sitting, she now saw Uncle Harry standing. She fumbled for good words—ones worthy of his angelic ears. They never came. "My uh-uncle is the pastor."

"Harry? Brother Harry?" He cocked his head to the side casually in genuine surprise. "He didn't tell me he had a niece!" Grayson's country accent was similar to Janet's uncle's.

"I'm easy to forget."

"Hardly!" he said confidently. "I won't." Grayson left at that, and the organ stopped playing as though to say that that was the end of Janet's 30-second relationship with the man of her dreams. Uncle Harry took his platform in front of the congregation and began the service.

"Hello, everybody! It's good to see old faces and new faces here today. If you haven't heard, we have a young man here today to bring the Word. He wants to give his testimony, and I'm here to tell you, he's a blessing."

Janet, still tired from the night's activity and only having had three hours of sleep, was finding it very hard to stay awake. Once, her eyelids ripped open as she heard and felt the cracking sound of her head hitting the back of the pew. All eyes shot in her direction, some looking judgmental, but not Grayson's. He was doing his best to look unfazed. Still, she couldn't have been more embarrassed.

"As I was saying," Pastor Harry interrupted, "Grayson Harris is a blessing. Come on up, Grayson." Janet was now even more humiliated as Grayson eyed her on his trip to the pulpit.

Standing behind the podium, he began with, "Thanks for letting me do this. I've just been here a few times, and I already feel like a member. You guys are a real welcoming crew." He beamed from ear to ear. "Just to clear some things up, I didn't want to give my testimony until Brother Harry asked me to. I hate public speaking. I'd certainly never ask to do it!" The crowd let out a small laugh as his expressive face began to tell a story. Janet decided he probably wouldn’t have to talk at all, and everyone would know what he was saying. His expressions said it all.

Grayson proceeded, from there, to tell his story. He told the audience of his life as an orphan. "I was an orphan from the time I was born. My father left my mom when he found out she was pregnant, and my mother died while in labor." That was only a little of what he said. Grayson had had some of the same troubles as Janet had had in life.

Grayson's story made Janet ashamed. He, too, had been faced with choices, but it wasn't until this moment that Janet had realized she had had a choice. Grayson was using his story and was planning on becoming a preacher. Janet had chosen prostitution. Grayson had suffered through abusive foster homes and parents for close to 16 years. Janet ran at the first possible opportunity. Grayson forgave his transgressors. Janet scorned them still. After Grayson's message, almost the entire congregation stood to applaud him. This was one time when he did not crack a smile. He was not proud. He had done this for a different reason.

Uncle Harry came to the front of the church, and Grayson went and sat on the pew Harry had come from. "I know everyone's gonna buy a copy of that sermon! It's true that when we think we are in the worst trials and situations ever, there's always someone who has it worse. You should always remember that if young Grayson can keep the faith after all of that, that we have no excuse to stray from the Lord." Amens filled the crisp Sunday morning air. Janet looked over at Grayson and noticed he was returning the glance. If only he knew who she really was. "Okay, let's end this thing in prayer."

For the first time Janet remembered, she prayed. She didn't just listen to the preacher pray, she talked to God herself. She knew that she probably wasn't doing it right, because it sounded so crude, but she didn't care. For the first time ever, everything felt okay and all wrong at the same time. When Uncle Harry said amen, so did Janet, but she was far from done.

Grayson approached Janet after the church. A lot of people think prostitutes are more comfortable around guys, but in Janet's case, this certainly wasn't true. "So, now that you know my whole life's story, you wanna go get some lunch?" Janet was supposed to leave and go back to her old life after the service, but now, for several reasons, she wasn't sure she wanted to go back at all.

"Sure, I'd love to, but I have to see if Uncle Harry cares if I stay with him for another night."

"He won't."

"I want to be sure." After asking Harry, Janet found that Grayson knew him well. "Where are we eating? I'm pretty hungry."

"Your limit's five bucks. I'm broke flat, just about."

Janet laughed, along with Grayson and responded quickly. "Come on! You can do better than that!"

"Sorry," he said, both of them still laughing. "Lowly preachers with no job don't get paid much!" After a minute Grayson said, "We'll go in my truck."

Once they were in the truck, Janet found herself trapped. Grayson was asking everything she felt she couldn't answer truthfully. "Janet, what brings you to New York?"

"I live here. How about you?"

"Well, I came here from down south to be closer to my brother that got separated from me during foster home moves. Why hasn't the pastor ever mentioned you?"

"Well, you've only been going to the church for two weeks. Uncle Harry just may not have gotten around to that yet."

"I've known Harry for a month and a half, and we got into a discussion about his family just the other day. His only sibling died, so-" He paused. "I'm sorry."

"I was 10. I didn't really know my mom, anyway. She was never around. My dad took good care of me until I was 16 when he was shot by a police officer in a misunderstanding. I saw it happen."

"I'm sorry," Grayson repeated.

"It's okay."

"So, we were kinda in the same boat growin' up, huh? What were your foster homes like?"

"I wouldn't know. I ran away from my second one after I had a fight with my foster mom. I wasn't brave like you."

"I wasn't brave! I was too scared to leave! Listen, everyone deals with things differently. Some people run from fear, and some people cower under it, and still, some people face it head on. Who knows. If I had been 16 when I first got put into foster care, I might have run away too."

"Yeah."

"So what have you been doing to keep your head up? As I said in front of the church, I've been doing odd jobs for elderly people or people who can't do the jobs for themselves or the folks who can't quite afford a professional."

Janet's face got flushed. She hoped it didn't turn red. "You could say the same for me." Aside from the truth she was harboring, she felt safe and comfortable with Grayson.

"So, we're like male and female versions of the same person!" Grayson didn't know how wrong he was. "I have to know, though," Grayson sighed as he pulled into the McDonald's parking lot. "If you think this is too personal, just change the subject." What could he want to ask her? "How's your relationship with God?"

Janet was relieved. "Well, I never really felt like I had one, that is, until this morning. When we prayed, for the first time, I felt like I connected with God, and for the first time, like he could hear me. It was amazing."

"Oh yeah," he said with a grin. "That's an amazing feeling. People without faith don't get it, mostly because they choose not to. I remember those days in my life." Grayson's smile was reassuring. "So, are we going to go inside?"

"Let's go," Janet smiled.

Once inside Janet ordered from the dollar menu. "You can get whatever you want, you know. I was kidding about the being broke thing.

"No. I'm fine."

"Are you sure you don't at least want some fries?"

"No. I'm fine," Janet repeated. In some strange way, she felt like she was repaying Grayson for all his kindness by saving him money.

"We can go to a different restaurant, one with more to choose from, one that's more expensive."

"No. I'm fine. I love McDonald's," Janet reassured him.

"Suit yourself." Much to Janet's pleasure, Grayson was giving up.

The entire time they were together the rest of that day, they spent laughing and flirting. Janet had never been so happy, and Grayson as happy as he'd been in a while. It was this way for another three weeks. Janet and Grayson really got along. Any time they could be together, they were. Neither of the two ever used the term "dating", because Grayson preferred taking things slowly.

Uncle Harry didn't seem to mind any of this, because he saw them as adults. He did, however, like to know where Janet was at all times. A wonderful thing for Janet, she hadn't craved anything since the one time on that Saturday night/Sunday morning, and it had been three weeks since then that Janet clued Grayson in on some things.

"Grayson, I'm not an angel," she said, sitting down on the couch in his apartment.

"I beg to differ," Grayson said playfully as he sat down and kissed her nose.

"No, I mean it."

"Me too." Grayson was serious.

"I've done really bad things."

"Haven't we all?"

"I only stopped my bad things on the day before we met and that was because I had to. Uncle Harry didn't talk about me before because I severed ties with him when I showed up high at church in Georgia during a family reunion."

"Things we regret doing give us motivation to stay on the right track. Don't you think?"

"Well, I guess."

"You've become really important to me, Jan." Janet smiled, touched, and for the first time felt like it wasn't important who she used to be. "Now is there something you really need to tell me that I keep putting off?"

"No," she said compromising.

"Well, I do have something to ask of you. Soon, I'd like to introduce you to my brother. He's really rough around the edges, and he needs God, so could you pray for him?"

"Of course," Janet promised, and over the next few days she kept that promise.

"Baby?"

"What, Gray?" Janet watched the city buildings roll past.

"Recently, I have been asking myself what I would do without you."

"I've been asking myself that since the day I met you!" They laughed.

"No, but, Jan, seriously. I think I love you."

"I love you, too," she said, suddenly beaming.

"Good," Grayson said, seemingly relieved. "I was afraid you'd laugh at me." They were quiet for a little while. "What are our plans for the future?" Grayson asked suddenly.

"Honey, don't you think this is a strange conversation for us to be having in the car?"

"I'm sorry," he said, almost bashfully. "It's just that I've never felt like this about anyone before, and I really just want to secure my place with you forever."

Janet's eyes grew wide. Was that some kind of proposal? True, Janet wanted nothing more for her future than to marry Grayson. It was just strange that he had brought it up so soon, him being so conservative with time.

"That's not the way I wanted this to come out, and this is definitely not the place." Grayson pulled over to the shoulder of the road. "Stay put," he ordered. He proceeded to walk around the back of the truck and open Janet's door. He pulled a ring box out of his back pocket and opened it to reveal a big, shiny diamond ring. "I know it's a little soon, but I know you're the only girl I'll ever love like this. Even if I were to meet every girl in this world, get a chance to know them as well as I do you, and get to pick from all of you. You'd be The One. Janet Bowles, will you be my wife?"

"Yes," Janet jumped out of the truck and hugged her fiancé. Fiancé, fiancé, fiancé. She'd vowed to herself that she'd never get tired of that word.

"Janet? Is that you?"

She slammed the door. "Yes, Uncle Harry."

"Why are you smiling so big?"

"How do you know I'm smiling? You're all the way in there!"

Uncle Harry came down the hall beaming. "I could hear it in your voice. "So what's that all about?"

"Well," she said, looking up at Grayson, whose fingers were locked in hers, "Grayson and I-"

"You're getting married? That's wonderful! I'm calling everyone in the congregation! When's the wedding?"

"Calm down, Uncle Harry!" Janet said with a giggle. "Have you thought about the fact we may not want to tell everyone yet?"

"Why not? That makes no sense. You got joyful news—share it. Seems simple enough to me."

"Well, I agree with you," Grayson finally piped up. "I wanna tell the world. I think the waiting-for-nothing is a girl thing."

"I believe you’re right," Uncle Harry concurred. Janet just rolled her eyes and laughed. They were partly right. "Well, guys, I need to go to the store."

"Why didn’t you get us to get whatever you needed while we were out?" Janet asked, suspicious.

"I gotta be gettin’ to the road now. I’ll see you young-ons later." Uncle Harry left, shutting the apartment door.

"Did you think I wouldn’t figure out he already knew? You, of all people, should know he can’t keep happy secrets."

"That’s my weakness, too," Grayson said with a charmed grin. "How do you think he figured it out?"

"So, am I still going to meet your brother tomorrow?"

"Yeah. I reckon. Remember, his life didn’t ever get turned around from the rut he always had it in, so he’s nothing like me. He’s into some crazy stuff, but we both know that doesn’t mean anything."

"Alright," Janet said reassuringly.

About the time Grayson had told Janet he would come over to introduce her to his brother, Janet was waiting by the window for Grayson’s truck to pull up. When it finally did, Janet waited by the apartment door in her newest blouse waiting for footsteps to sound outside the door. The pitter-patter came, and Janet looked though the peephole as Grayson walked past the door. What was he doing? He went up the flight of stairs across the hall. After all this time, he was getting lost?

Janet went to sit on the couch to wait for Grayson to call or something. Uncle Harry was taking his Saturday 3:00 nap, and Janet was just waiting. After a few minutes or less, the doorbell rang. Janet didn’t even look to see who it was. She knew who it was.

As she opened the turquoise door that stood between her and her best friend in the whole world, prayed silently, hoping all would go well while meeting her future brother-in-law. "Janet, meet my brother." Grayson spoke first.

Before Janet could open her mouth or recover from the shock of seeing that her dealer was Grayson’s brother, Stitch, as Janet had always known him, spoke. "Ain’t I dealed to you before?"

Janet’s eyes grew. "Dealed? She played dumb—very dumb. Dealed what?"

"Yeah!" he went on, ignoring her question. "You’s that hooker who did me favor for a little bit of crack. I remember I was with you the first time you tried crack. I can hardly believe you and my brother got anything in common." His Jersey accent, much like her former landlord’s, really annoyed her, and it always had.

"I don’t know what you’re talking about! I’ve never met you in my life."

"Oh," he said. "Grays don’t know yet? Sorry I blew your cover," he chuckled.

Grayson looked confused. "What’s he talking about?"

"Let’s see if I can remember your name… uh, Janet! Yeah, but you had a streetname. What was it? Bunny? Maybe. I remember thinking how cheesy it was when you told me." They all stood, not speaking, for a moment. "Well, I got more where mine came from if you got more where yours came from." A perverted smiled overtook his face, and his stained, yellow teeth peeped out from beneath his chapped lips.

"That was a long time ago," Janet said, trying to salvage what dignity she had left.

"That was about two months ago. I remember it distinctly. I don’t smoke, I just distribute. I still got my head."

"Brandon," Grayson broke in weakly, "why don’t you go home. I think me and Janet need to talk."

"Whatever. Glad to help, little brother."

"So what was this he talked about?" They were sitting on the couch.

"I wanted to tell you about this stuff earlier, way earlier. Weeks ago when I was telling you about how I wasn’t an angel, but I choked."

"Well, when he said favors, did he mean sexual favors?" His voice was almost a whisper.

Janet was silent for a long minute, and she didn’t have to say anything, but she did. "Yes."

"And I thought I knew you so well, too. This, right here, is why I tried not to like you. I tried to let you tell me everything before I made up my mind about you!" It was as though he was alone in the room talking to himself. "I tried to know her first, but something beyond me said I shouldn’t. It said I couldn’t not like her, and I listened to it!"

"You don’t know how much I’ve changed inside over the past month!"

"No, and that’s what worries me most!" The afternoon sunlight beamed in through the apartment windows. "You might not have changed at all!"

Janet sighed. "I wanted to tell you all this stuff myself, and Fate wouldn’t let me."

"God knew you never would tell me, so he intervened."

"Don’t you ever get sick of doing that?" Janet demanded.

"Doing what?"

"Looking for some spiritual reason for everything?"

"You don’t think there is?"

"Sometimes, but not for everything!"

Sitting on his small bed in his mostly-empty apartment, Grayson closed his eyes and prayed for guidance as he cracked open his favorite book. He could hardly concentrate on his reading because of his thoughts, but he pressed on. The answer was in the Bible somewhere, and he was determined to find it.

Four and a half blocks away, Janet was sitting on her bed. It was near nine, and Janet decided it was time to go. Maybe everything wasn’t what she had thought for about a month. She had been raising money by cleaning for her uncle. She would visit Brandon, but not tell Harry, before she left. Janet left a note, took her new clothes and money, and headed out the door.

After her visit with Grayson’s brother, Janet was ready to go back and forget Grayson’s existence. She had enough crack to get her high and then some. Janet made it a point to walk by Grayson’s apartment building, and when she got there, her plans, and destiny, changed.

It was almost midnight and Grayson needed to go for a walk. Upon exiting his apartment building, he met his duty and guilt. "My God! I should’ve stayed with you!" Grayson picked up the passed out girl from the stoop. He carried her to his truck, and this wasn’t easy. Janet was out cold, and this didn’t help the lifting process. "Janet!" he shouted through his strain as he set her down on the seat.

Grayson watched Janet from the seat beside her bed. The doctors had said that Janet had developed a heart condition that reacted badly to the cocaine. The heart monitor beeped steadily, but he hadn’t seen her move or give any signs of consciousness since he had discovered her.

Finally, Brother Harry arrived just as the heart monitor slowed. Grayson’s eyes were burning with potential tears. Harry came to him, and he got up to let the man sit down. "I need a second with her," Harry requested, sniffling back his tears.

"Yes, sir. She’s your niece," Grayson said as steadily as he could possibly manage. He walked towards the door as the monitor got even slower. Finally, as he stood in the doorway looking back over his shoulder, the solemn room stiffened as the heart monitor let out one, steady, heart-stopping sound. Uncle Harry kissed Janet’s hand as Grayson hung his tired head and walked out the hospital room door.

"Janet, I guess you’ll be picking up the free pews?"

"Yeah. I’ll do it." Janet was always the one that Pamela called on when it came to picking up the big stuff they needed for the home. That was because Janet had a pickup truck. She had gotten it about three years earlier, after having spent about two years in the home and having collected enough funds from her job and earnings at the home to buy it. So, why had she chosen a pickup? Mostly because she loved the way it had felt to ride in Grayson’s.

Janet was going, as a volunteer at the ladies’ home, to pick up some extra church pews that Almighty was giving them. Her cell phone rang. "Hello?"

"Janet, this is Uncle Harry. These pews are waiting on someone. Who’s coming to get them?"

"You know I’ll be there in about an hour. Anything else you wanna tell me about donating before I head that way? Because I’ll have to get someone to come with me if you’re going to give us something else."

"Um, well, some rich old man passing through town saw our old, warn out altars and tried giving us two new ones without my consent. I said ‘We don’t need these! Our altars aren’t warn out, they’re just well-used!’ You should have seen the look on his face! He said I should give them to someone who needs them, and I immediately thought of Ladies’."

"That’s great! All we have in the worship center is a roll of carpet along the front wall. People have been using it to pray at. This is wonderful. Okay, I’ll get Pam or Betty to bring the van."

"Alright. See you in a little while. Bring lots of rope." I laughed. Aunt Rachel used to always say that before we left for our camping trips.

How Janet had been found by the home was quite a miracle. After her fight with Grayson, she had prayed to God. She was saved and she knew it. Grayson had showed her through the steps. She had said, "God, if you love me, show me something I need to see." Janet had opened her Bible and turned to Matthew 10. Verse 39 seemed to be staring her in the face, though the words meant nothing at that particular time. "He who seeks his life shall lose it, but he who loses his life for my sake shall find it."

With frustration mounting, Janet had stood from her bed, grabbed as many of her things as she could possibly gather in a plastic supermarket bag and prepared to go get something, though she wasn’t sure quite what, from upstairs. Was it drugs she wanted, or revenge? As she opened the door to step outside, there was a nun, staring her right in the face as she passed. She thought back on her prayer and turned to go down all the stairs and leave the apartment building. Maybe she would find something on a walk down the streets.

Janet saw Betty, a girl she used to work a nearby corner with, but at first she didn’t recognize her. She was wearing a brightly colored, clean shirt and was freshly showered. Betty waved. "You look good, honey!" She hugged Janet. What was this? "What have you been up to?"

"A lot, lately. I got saved, and I’ve been living for the Lord," Janet explained.

"Well, praise Jesus!" Betty sounded like a woman in one of those black choirs you see on television or in movies. "Are you living anywhere?"

"Well, with my uncle. I love him, but I’d like to start becoming more independent."

"I was living with my Mama, and I was still working as a prostitute. Then, Mama told me one day that I was going to have to go to church with her, or she would kick me out. I didn’t go, and she kicked me out, and we weren’t on speaking terms for three days. Then, I got a call one morning saying she had had a heart attack alone in her apartment and that she could’ve been saved if only someone had found her in time. I went to church the following Sunday, and I didn’t think it was for me, but I came the next week, because I got a call from the pastor saying that he was glad I had come. The following, I got saved, and someone from my church told me about this place called The Bellerose Christian Ladies’ Home." I noticed that was what her pink shirt said across the front.

She kept talking. "It’s a place where ladies like us can go and learn to live for God and become independent. I’ve been there about a year, and now I work there. I think it could be a very positive thing for you."

"I bet so. Where do I sign up?"

Janet was always nervous about her trips back to The City. What if she saw someone she didn’t want to see? What would she say or do?

"Grayson? This is Gina. Just seeing if there was something you wanted to do Friday."

"Hey."

"Well, do you want to see a movie Friday?"

"I can’t. I mean, this isn’t really working out. I have to work. I do on Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays every week. You work every other day almost every week. We never have time to do stuff together."

"So, this is it?"

"I guess so."

"After close to a year, all you can say is ‘I guess it’s over’?"

"Sorry. Bye." Grayson hung up and scratched his head in confusion. What was wrong with him? Why lie about work? Architecture isn’t that demanding. Why not just say, "I don’t feel what I felt before with Her"? What about "This can’t work because I can’t seem to find that sparkle in your eyes that I know is supposed to be there"? Because they would think he was gay. Or crazy. Or gay.

Grayson had spent the last five years trying to convince himself that he was capable of being a preacher. He had been working under Pastor Harry as a Sunday school teacher, a local missionary, and a deacon. After the break up with Janet, Grayson reevaluated his life and wondered if maybe he wasn’t preacher material. As far as girlfriends, there had been no serious ones, that is, until Gina

Grayson and Gina met a little over four years after Grayson and Janet’s falling-out. They had been at a Rick Warren book signing at the same time and seen each other from across the room. Grayson had, for the first time in four years, walked up and talked to a girl he found interesting. Browsing for and finding no rings or other sign of commitment, he made a joke. "You read this book?"

"Yes. I love it. My whole church did the program. That’s why I’m getting it signed."

"’Cause I haven’t. I mean, it’s not like I didn’t try. It’s like, ‘Blah, blah, blah. Plans, purpose, plan’."

Gina just looked at him in horror.

"I’m just kidding. I loved it, too." He laughed pretty loudly. She joined, trying to understand. After a few more jokes and lots of serious conversation in the gigantic line, Grayson went home with a phone number. After only one week, Grayson and Gina were dating.

Now, Grayson was sabotaging everything that had made his life happy in a while. He decided to call Gina back. "Gina?"

"Yeah. What’s wrong?"

"I don’t know. I’m really sorry."

"You said that."

"No, I mean, I’m so sorry. I don’t want to break up."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. 100 percent."

"Alright. Good." Grayson heard Gina’s voice lift with sudden relief. "I have to go. Are we on for Friday or not?"

"Yeah."

"Alright. Love you. Bye."

"Love you, too." Grayson smiled, proud of what he’d just done, and glad he hadn’t let his sudden moodswing ruin everything for him.

"Six pews, Uncle Harry? You said four on the phone."

"Well, I found two more in storage after we got off the phone."

"Luckily, Betty brought the van and we had room for it all. Thanks Uncle Harry." Janet kissed his forehead.

"Pastor Harry?" Grayson stepped into the office doorway.

Janet’s worst fears were being realized.

"Uh, nevermind." Grayson turned around to leave.

"Get in here!" Harry called Grayson back in. "What did you need?" Grayson tried to avoid eye contact with Janet, but she was so beautiful. Her shiny brown hair was falling around her face from her ponytail, and she had a bead of sweat on her forehead. She was working hard.

"Um, I was just going to ask your advice on something, but it’s personal, so I can wait. I should’ve called, but I was already out.

"Oh!" Harry’s face scrunched up. "Over-active bladder. Be right back!" Uncle Harry rushed past Grayson and towards the bathroom in the hallway leaving the two alone.

Grayson desperately wanted to talk to Janet. Would she want to hear what he had to say? What did he have to say? Nothing? "I heard you’re living in Bellerose now."

"Yes." Neither of them had really moved since Harry had left the room. "Have you had luck with preaching?"

"I kind of gave up on that."

"No kidding? I can’t believe that." For a moment, Janet forgot how uncomfortable she was. "What have you been doing?"

"Not really anything. I got an architecture thing going right now. What about you?"

"Well, I-"

"Janet," Betty came to the door, "our helpful friends have loaded everything. You wanna take them out to lunch?"

"Don’t we need to be getting back?"

"Not immediately. Pam and Theresa have got it under control."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Okay, then, let’s take them out." Janet realized she had some introducing to do. "Betty, this is Grayson." She said his name with care. She tried to give it an intonation that only she could hear. She wondered if she had been discovered. "Grayson, this is Betty. We work together."

The shook hands and exchanged How-Do-Ya-Dos. Betty had caught the intonation for sure. "Janet, why don’t we invite Grayson to eat with us, too. It’d be a bit rude to exclude him."

Janet waited for Betty to ask him, but Betty was waiting for Janet to ask, and Janet knew Betty wouldn’t hesitate to embarrass her. "Grayson, do you want to go eat with us?"

Boy, did Grayson ever want to spend a few more minutes with Janet. He wasn’t sure why, all those years ago, he had not ever called Janet again. All he could remember was being extremely upset. "Well," Grayson said, still deciding. If he said he wanted to go, would he seem desperate? Would Janet think him pathetic? If he said no, would he hound himself for years to come? "Sure. I’d love to."

The ride to the restaurant in the van was a bit awkward. The van was filled with Betty and Janet, a few guys who had helped them load all the stuff for the ride back to Bellerose, and Grayson. Janet managed not to look at Grayson the entire car ride there. At some point during the ride, though, Betty asked, "Where are we eating? I was thinking McDonald’s because me and Jan are on a limited budget."

Oh, God. Janet thought. Anyplace but McDonald’s! That had been where Grayson and her had first gone. Then again, Betty was right about there not being quite enough money to buy food anywhere much more expensive. "I guess that’s our only objection."

Grayson smirked thinking back to that first day when he and Janet had gone to McDonald’s after church. They had gotten along right from the beginning. Janet’s wit and smile had kept Grayson reeling from the beginning. They still were as they rode in the van.

"So?" Betty demanded. "What were the chances of that happening?"

"I don’t particularly want to talk about it."

"Listen," Betty said, "girl, you know you still want him." Janet sighed. "I saw how you tried not to look at him. I could see that you were trying not to feel that way."

"You’re a Person Reader all the way."

"Every girl can see it when it’s not on themselves."

"I guess you’re right, Betty. So what do I do?"

"I don’t know," Betty said, sounding defeated. "I’m not going back this week. If you go, you’ll probably have to go alone."

"I don’t know. I think I’ll just let it be. All that was five years ago. What if he’s attached to someone? I’m not interfering with that. I’m just going to move on. Besides, if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen, right?"

"Maybe." We sat in silence for a few minutes. "But what if it’s meant to happen, and it’s meant for you to intervene?"

"I don’t know. What if… That’s all we can say."

"Unless you try."

"I won’t," Janet decided. "I can’t do this. It would kill me if he rejected me."

"I guess you’re right," Betty said, as though not convinced. "If you’re sure."

"I am."

"Gina, hey. This is Grayson." He had known he was going to have to leave message before he dialed the number. That’s the way he wanted it. "I was just going to call to say I love you. I need to talk to you." He smiled. "It’s nothing bad, so don’t worry. Just come over to talk to me when you get this message. I love you. Buh-bye."

After hanging up, Grayson dialed a number that he had to read from a business card. "Mr. Collins? This is Grayson Harris."

"Yeah, I know your last name," he laughed. "What do you need?"

"I have something important to ask of you."

"What is it?"

"I was wondering if I could have permission to ask Gina to marry me."

Mr. Collins didn’t say anything. It was dead silent. Grayson didn’t want to rush him in any way, so he waited. Still, no sound came from the phone. "Mr. Collins?" He pulled the phone from his face to see the words Call Dropped.

The time it had taken to work up the nerve to make that phone call was unmeasurable. How could he just call back like nothing had happened? How much had Mr. Collins heard? Oh, well. Grayson wasn’t calling back, no matter what. He suddenly changed his mind.

"Welcome to the ministry, my friend."

"Thanks, man." Grayson gave his friend, Barry, a hug. "So, when’s my first day?"

"Today. Right now. There’s a guy who just moved in, but he has to go back to his house to get some things. You take him."

"Alright." It had been three weeks since Grayson had seen Janet and crumbled to fall at the feet of fear instead of proposing to his long-time girlfriend.

"Okay, listen," Betty said as she always did when she didn’t want to have to repeat something. "We’re so glad you’ve chosen to stay with us. As you join us, you will be given one room, to share with a few other ladies with your own twin-sized bed, two pillowcases and two twin-sized sheets. Also, you’ll get one full-sized blanket, one throw blanket, two outfits, a pair of shoes, a Bible, and if you had a baby, we’d give you everything for him or her." This whole schpeel was becoming routine for Betty. She was talking very fast.

"To earn money for more clothes or anything else you’d like to buy, we’ll give you plenty of things to do around here. That will also serve as rent, but we’ll never take any money out of your wages to pay for your living space. After 26 months at the home, you will be depended on to start paying your rent from some kind of job or you’ll be depended on to stand on your own two feet, living somewhere else, but we can cross that bridge when we come to it." The young woman she was talking to nodded her head the whole time Betty jabbered, and she didn’t stop smiling. She was genuinely glad to have a nice play to stay and nice people to stay with.

I remembered that talk. "Also," I added, "we’ll be having a social soon. You won’t be able to go to this one, but you can probably go to the one next month. Let me explain. We have a brother ministry, The Bellerose Christian Men’s Ministry. They are located nearby. Every month we have a single’s social at the rec. center around the corner where men and women from both homes can get together and have a dance-type thing. Not that you have to stay within the home all the time. You’re welcome to come and go as you please, as long as your duties are fulfilled. It just give the ladies or men who feel like they’re having trouble finding good men or ladies out there a chance to associate with good people."

"I understand," she said, speaking for the first time. "I’m definitely going to like it here. I appreciate all you’ve already done. Anything else I need to know?"

"Yes," I confessed with a giggle. "Saturday we’re having a meeting to decide on a monthly fundraiser for March."

"Alright. Man, I’ve never needed a pocket planner before, but this may the end of those times!"

"What? A social? Is that like a dance?"

"Yeah, I guess you’d call it that. It’s kind of a like a banquet with dancing."

"Ah," Grayson said understanding. "This is will be with our ‘sister’ ministry?" Grayson said, throwing air quotes around sister.

"Yes. It’s good for the singles in both groups to meet people they know are less likely to be the scum that most of them have been around all their lives and some of them have been."

"So, can I bring Gina?"

"Sure. Dude," he said suddenly, "I thought you were finally ask for the hand!"

"I chickened out again. I can’t keep doing this."

"Yeah, I know. She’s going to get sick of this!" Barry reached up and rubbed his scruffy neck. I got to shave before this social. I’m single, too." They laughed. "Who knows? I might find me a cute little Ladies’ worker."

"Ladies’? Is that what most people call our sister ministry?"

"I don’t know. I’ve always called it that."

Grayson was trying to think of where he had heard that. He was sure Pastor Harry had said it, but in what context?

"Do you have everything for sure?"

"Pam, do I ever come unprepared?

"You sure don’t, Jan. That’s what I’ve always loved about you. How’s the house thing coming?"

"Good. It’s nicer than any apartment I’ve ever had, that’s for sure."

"Well, obviously. It is in Bellerose!"

"True." Janet laughed. "Well, I’m excited about this social. Helen deserves someone really great, and I hope she finds someone here."

"She just might," Betty said. "She’s very beautiful." The three women all picked up the boxes that were on the table. They were headed to the recreation center to set up for the social. Once there, Janet parked her truck only to see a similar parked three rows down. It had a faded sticker on the back that someone had tried to remove. Proud Preacher.

"No freaking way," Janet said aloud, not caring who heard.

"What is it?" Betty asked her. She didn’t even need an answer because she saw the answer herself. "No freaking way," Betty copied. "Girl, this is God, or you have a stalker."

"Grayson, there are three chicks out there from Ladies’ are staring at your truck like it’s made of solid gold."

Grayson peaked out the window just as Pam, Betty, and Janet turned around to get the stuff from the back of Janet’s truck, all the while jabbering. "No freaking way," Grayson said.

"What is it, man?"

"This night is going to suck!"

"What is it?" Gary demanded.

"That’s Janet."

"Yeah, Janet, Betty, and Pam. So what?"

"Janet," Grayson sighed, "was my girlfriend a long time ago."

"How long ago?"

"Five years ago."

"So?"

"So, we were engaged."

"What happened."

"She tried to tell me that she had-" Should he be telling someone this? "She had had a drug problem and a few other problems right before we met, and she didn’t tell me anything about it. Well, she tried, and then, I accidentally talked her out of it by putting pressure on her. Then, I found out about everything from someone else, and I kind of flipped—really badly. I told her I’m glad I found out before we made a mistake by getting married, but the thing is, I thought it would blow over. I told her I’d call her the next day. The day after, I called and her uncle said she had left to-" Grayson’s eyes got wide. "She left to join Ladies’"

"What am I going to do?" Janet smacked her forehead.

"Stay on separate sides of the room?" Pam sheepishly suggested.

"No, girl. You have to embrace this. This is a second chance from God. Girl, you know you still have feelings for him." Betty sounded so sure.

"No, I don’t. I don’t know anything. The most conversation we’ve had in the past five years was small talk in a car with four other people involved. Maybe I need to talk to him tonight and get all this out of the way."

"You’ll definitely need to be doing that," Pam agreed. "Last time I talked to Paul, he said a new guy was joining their force. I’d assume that’d be your man." Paul was the leader of Men’s.

"I guess I’ll try doing that."

"Well," Betty said, pleased that Janet was giving things a shot, "we have to get all of this stuff in there and decorate so we can go get the ladies. Try not to fraternize right now. We’re already behind a little."

"Okay," Janet agreed.

As the lights dimmed, Janet thought about the task at hand. Grayson was across the room. Sure, she noticed all the cute pairs being made, and all the people that were talking, but she could only really see Grayson checking his watch and looking nervously over in her direction a couple of times. It was exactly what he had done during downtime while decorating.

Janet started to move across the room and met Grayson. "We need to talk for a second."

"What about?"

"About us."

Grayson shivered. Dreams do come true? Not quite. "What about us? Excuse if I sound smart aleck, but I thought there was no us."

"So did I. That’s why I came over here. Is there? Do you want there to be? I have to know if we’re on the same page. At least, of we’re not, we each need to know what page the other is on so we can maintain a work relationship. We’ll being doing a lot of stuff together from now on."

"I see. Well, I have to admit, when I first saw you that day at the church and everything, I was immediately re-charmed."

"So was I. You were my first and only love. So, where are we going from here? Where do you feel God leading you?"

"I’m not sure. I mean, we do keep running into each other an awful lot, and what were the odds of me getting a counseling job so close in proximity and relation to yours?"

"I don’t know, but they can’t be good."

"Well, there is something else that could hinder our chances, and she just walked through the door."

Gina walked up on the conversation, confused. "Hey, baby!" She kissed Grayson’s forehead the way Janet used to. "Who’s this, baby?"

"Janet, this is Gina, my girlfriend. Gina, this is Janet, my ex-fiancée."

Dang! Janet hadn’t been expecting complete honesty to that degree. It made Janet very uncomfortable, but Gina looked unfazed. "Nice to meet you," Gina said, warmly throwing out her hand to meet Janet’s.

"You, too."

"You don’t happen to have a ‘man’ by any chance, do you?" Her bright smile shone circles around Janet’s own. Jealousy sprouted.

"No. Why?" Suddenly, unexpectedly, Grayson felt relieved. Gina’s smiled faded.

"Well, Grayson and I have to go to a business banquet of my father’s tomorrow, and I really didn’t want to go, just us, because Daddy likes it when I bring possible clients. If you had someone, it wouldn’t matter if he were potential clientele or not. Daddy would never know. But, it’s okay." Gina&rsqu