Give

I knew him once. Thought i knew so well. I Knew his face, and loved him as he was.  I understood later, the reason why.  I gave to him everything , and i could never say i got less than what i gave in return.

But he's gone now.  Gone so far away.  Lost and cold in a place i cant reach.  A silent grave from which,  i cannot bring him back.  I thought that my love could touch the cool exterior forming around his life, and somehow melt his distance.  This act, one time, the last of too many.  He gave me words so beautiful, so sweet.   I wanted to cherish his words, to hold them close to my heart, to lock them inside my soul forever.   But in his eyes , the story of a fading child played and danced.  A dawning truth, beconed me to give in, to act upon my anger.  He doesnt love me.

But i couldnt.  So beautiful were his words that i wept, the anger sinking and dying, struck by a need, a fear, so intense.  I fell to my knees in the shadow of my mind, the knife, jagged and rough, tareing my heart away.  Before him still, standing, weeping, needing him.  

My acceptance was apparent, or so it must have seemed as his slow smile smouldered behind my eyes, growing and spreading across his cheeks.  His measured pace told me so much, i watched him leave my side.  Passing from the room, his shadow cast a lingering darkness on my thoughts.

He has left me.  Though i know he will be back, in my arms, taking pleasure from my touch.  But you know as well as i, that even should he come when i call, he no longer has the will to give.