Created By

flutytute

Rate this Story

Embed

     I was cold, really cold.  I could hear my lawyers voice telling me to wake up, but I didn't respond, I just wanted to stay in the coldness a little bit more, so that I'd become numb, and freeze over completely.  Just as I was about to burrow deeper out of consciousness, I jolted upright.
     "Are you okay Mellie?" my lawyer asked, and I could see that I was sitting on his couch in his office again. 
     "How could this be?"  I asked him, and craddled my head, with tears streaking down my face, "you said that everything would be ok.  You PROMISED!! My life is doomed!!!!   He is walking free, and he RAPED me!!! Why did this have to happen??  Oh god... and I trusted you when you said you would keep me safe!!
     "Mellie! Calm down.  I'm sorry, do believe me that I am, but there's nothing more I can do.  Your brother didn't testify and your mom wasn't even in the picture all throughout the trial, it was hopeless from the start.  You told your part, and that was the best that you could do, because it looked as if you were only crying out for attention!"
     "Attention!  Attention!!!  He Raped me!! My father is a rapist, and now I have to go back to him, and pretend that everything is fine, and just sit there and let him do it all over again?"  I glared at him through my tears, "Remember that when you are at your fancy house and in your fancy bed at night dreaming about sugar plums, and fairies, that I'll be laying in mine, wondering if tonight is going to be another night my father rapes me!!"
     "Mellie!  I am sorry, but I should take you home now, you should at least sort it out with your mom! Ok?"  He looked at me earnestly like I was going to have another out break, like he wanted me gone.  As if he could dust me off of his fingers.
    
     I was tired, and felt powerless as I walked up my driveway, after the lawyer had dropped me off.  My shoulders were slumped, I had lost the battle.  I had to go back and continue on as if nothing had changed, except my mom getting drunk in the middle of the night with dad now.  At least he wasn't here now, his car wasn't in the driveway.  God, I was only nine, and yet I felt a hundred and two.  I decided to keep my head up even though I had lost, I wouldn't let anyone see the defeat in my face.  Then, I would find some place to live, and get away from it all.  Unfortunately, my plans didn't last long.
     "So... yer back... are ya?" I heard my moms slurred voice as I walked past her room, towards mine.
     I just turned around, and looked into her room for a bit.  It was dark, and she had the blinds drawn tightly, even though it was six thirty in the summer.  Her face was shadowed, but I could still tell that she was druink.  Her hands clutched a bottle of what appeared to be vodka, and there were bottles scattered on the ground.
     "Yeah," I finally said softly, "I lost."  
     "Wa'd I... s'tell ya's?... Ya were.. better off ... s'to just leave .. it alone.. ya no good... piece o' shit....,"she rambled off, and then stood up.  She swayed tremendously, and I was surprised that she hadn't fallen down after the first couple of steps but more surprised when she said with dead clarity, "He's only gonna be worse now, when he comes back, and he will come back."
     "I had to try," I stated, and started to walk away, with my head down, and just as I was about to enter my room, I heard her soft whispered voice, "I installed a lock for ya, on your door."
     Tears burned in the back of my throat as I stepped into my room and locked my door.  I looked at my reflection in the mirror that was across from it.  I saw a pitiful, pathetic nine year old girl.  Bubbles of pain seared across my body, as I saw the tears on my face.
     Suddenly, as if seperated from the act somehow, I felt my fist connect with the mirror, and shreds of glass rained down upon me.  As soon as I had pulled my fist back, I dropped into the pile of glass, exhausted.
     I was numb, and I had lost.  I was completely on my own, having to fend for myself against my rapist father, and my drunk of a mother.