Be My Baby part 14

 

This was just peachy. Having to walk home alone, in the dark of all times, was the worst possible idea. I should've definitely taken Serena up on her offer to drive me home. Now, I got to bear the goosebumps on my arms from the fear of someone kidnapping me. Then again, I wasn't really that sure of where the feeling came from. I remember it surfacing when I walked back to Stacy's.

 

When I spotted my house, I was extremely relieved. Of course, I knew my parents were probably waiting inside to grill me in anyway possible. As I turn the doorknob, I take a deep breath and prepare myself for my parents long lecture.

 

"Johnna!"my mother grabs me into a hug.

 

"Look mom, I know what you're going to say. The thing is, I forgot my phone at Stacy's. When I went back, they were gone so I had no way of calling you."I say as I try to release myself from her tight grip."Next time I'll call you to come get me. I promise."I smile slightly at her but she doesn't return it.

 

"So you weren't there when...they left?"my father asked, appearing from the kitchen.

 

As I shake my head, I watch as his worried expression turns into a more pained stupor. My mother stares at him, not daring to look at me.

 

"Well, if that's all, I think I'm going to bed. I've had a long day."I sigh as I stare at my parents.

 

They stand quietly as I make my way toward my room. Just when I reach the second step of the stairs, I feel a hand gripping mine. Turning around, I see my father shaking his head. My mother is now standing by his side as if I'm going to pass out again.

 

"I said I'm sorry."

 

"Johnna Bear..."my dad mutters.

 

The last time my father called me that, he told me grandma had 'moved on.' I stare at him in confusion as I make sense of what they are having difficulty telling me. And just as my father is about to speak again, a cold feeling sweeps over my body.

 

"Hello?"I wave my hand in front of their faces."Are either of you going to tell me what's going on?" 

 

Before they can answer, the doorbell rings. I look at them again before walking over to the door. I hesitate for a second. When it rings again I snap out of my daze and open the door.

 

"Woah."I say as Chris picks me up into a hug.

 

This isn't a normal hug either. He is gripping onto me so tight that I feel like I might lose circulation in my torso.

 

"Uhh, can you let me down?"I manage to say. 

 

"Do you want to ride with us or are your parents taking you?"Chris asks eagerly.

  

"Mom,"I begin,"what's going on?"

 

 

I probably should've just held my tongue. Finding out what happend was worse then not knowing altogether. Apparently, Stacy had stopped responding to treatments and was now in the hospital fighting for her life. Beverly informed me that Stacy had been having severe fatigue and memory loss which explained why she was so tired earlier and didn't remember making out with me. If only I would've said something, she could've been in the hospital sooner.

 

"Stacy."Shane sighs in relief as we walk into the waiting room."I've been calling you forever."

 

He sees Chris's hand in mine but ignores it and locks me into a hug. I can't move or even breathe for that matter and it's not because of his firm hold on me. I'm simply out of it. Thinking of Stacy, the same age as me, about to die is not something I would've thought about in Florida. Now she probably wouldn't even make it to her Senior prom, let alone high school. Those were all of the things I would get to do. I could have my choice between Shane, Chris, and so many other guys while Stacy was brittle bone buried in the ground. 

 

I realized I had gone catatonic when Serena came outside several hours later. She made her way to all of us, completely blank. Her eyes were puffy and red.

 

"Everyone can go home."she tried to smile but it only came out as a straight line."She can have visitors tomorrow. There's no need for you all to suffer."

 

"I'm not going anywhere."I say."I'm staying with you."

 

"To be honest, I would like to be alone with her for the night."Serena rubbed my shoulder."I promise to call your parents if anything new happens. You can come straight up here if so."

 

"Kay."I gulped.

 

 

My parents had taken the liberty to prepare food for all of us as we all faced the long night ahead of us. We knew we wouldn't get any sleep so we all set out in the living room. Dylan had even came over and brought Rachel as his parents, my parents, Beverly, and Shane's parents talked outside on the patio. Though I wasn't sure any of them were quite familar with Stacy, I knew they envisioned the same thing; their child lying in that hospital bed.

 

"Say something."I say when the quiet makes me go deaf."Why can't any of you just talk?"

 

"Sorry."Dylan mutters."I guess I'm kind of out of it. I mean, Stacy's a cool chick and what's going to happen to her sucks. I just wish there was something we could do."

 

"I know."Rachel says."She was always so nice to me and never had a problem speaking up for me."

 

"I loved her."Shane says suddenly."I mean, I've always wanted to tell her that but I don't know why I haven't. She was the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

  

That hurt a bit. I waited for Chris to jump up or at least say something in return to Chris but he didn't. He just stared off into space and bit his lip.

 

"I loved how she--"

 

"She's not dead yet."I interrupt Shane."You all are acting like she is already gone. This is stupid. I should've just remained quiet."

 

"It feels better to get it off of your chest."Shane says."So much better. Isn't there anything you'd like to say about her?"

 

"I didn't like her."I admitted and instantly felt better."I honestly wanted to rip her eyes out for taking Chris. I know she knew I loved him and yet she still had him. I hated her smile and her eyes and hair. It was almost like she was a replica of me but not. And when I found out she had cancer, I didn't even want her to touch me because the thought just grossed me out. And when she kissed me, I didn't know what to think. Then we hung out earlier and I realized what a heartless bitch I was."

 

I slowly looked up to see what kind of expression was on each of their faces. Except, none of them were looking at me the way they should be. Pity washed over all of their faces as I gulped for air. Why were they looking at me like that? Were they trying to make me feel even worse?

 

"Can't you just tell me what a horrible person I am?"I say as I feel the tears coming down my face."Just tell me that I should be the one dying and not her."

 

Chris's arms were suddenly around me, fighting to control me from jerking away. Since I couldn't get away from him, I let my legs give out and felt myself fall slightly before he was on the floor with me.

  

"Shh."he says."It's okay Johnna."

 

"No...no it's not okay."I choke out."I'm a disgusting excuse for a teenage girl. If anyone

 

"I know this sucks,"he whispers into my ear,"but it's the way things are. There's nothing I can say to make things better. We just have to go with it."

 

"Hey, you know what would make everything better?"Dyan says."When we go and see her tomorrow, you can just let everything off of your chest. You can tell her the truth. I know it would help the both of you."

 

How exactly would that help both of us? Maybe it would help me, but I could only see it hurting Stacy. And I didn't want to make her condition any worse.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Grr I was about to post this and I accidentally clicked on something so I had to redo it all. Sorry if there are mistakes. Anyway, hope you enjoy. Enjoy..."

xoxoxoxoxoxo