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My Stories
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My Angel- Chapter 3
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My Angel- Chapter 2
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My Angel- Chapter 1
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My Angel- Prologue
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A life of hate-

My Angel- Chapter 1

Drama Created on 7-7-07 Views(118) Story Rating G

2 years earlier-

 

Mary! Mary! Get yourself out of bed! The bus is going to be here soon and you are going to be late! Melanie yelled to her 12 year old daughter. Mary slowly got herself out of bed and got dressed. She looked outside thinking that she did not want to face another boring day at school. As she climbed down the stairs to the kitchen she saw her mom looking out the window. “Morning mom.” “Good morning. Hrm looks like someone is moving into old Mrs. Fisher’s house.” “You mean the old abandoned house next door?” as Mary’s mother was moving around the kitchen Mary started to wonder. “Who in the world would by that house? It’s a big mess.” Just then Mary’s older brother Mike came down the stairs. “Morning mom, morning Mary.” “Good morning.” The two said together. “I heard some noise outside this morning. What is going on?” Mike asked. Mary started speaking before her mom could even say a word. “Can you belive it Mike someone bought the old abandoned house! Can you believe that? It’s so dirty! Who would want to live there?” “Well I am sure that they will make it a very nice house soon Mary.” Her mom said. “Yeah” Mike said “It doesn’t take very much to make a house shine.” Mary was sitting at the table eating her breakfast wondering if the new neighbors had a girl that she could hang out with. She felt a kiss on her cheek and looked up at her dad Matt. “Good morning sweetie. What were you thinking about?” “Oh nothing dad” Mary said giving her dad a kiss back.

 

Suddenly there was a loud honking outside. “Oh shoot that is the bus! Go on get a move on it.” Melanie said as she grabbed her purse and gave each of the kids 10 dollars. “Now both of you have a great day at school and I will see you later.” “Okay  mom, see you tonight” Mike said. Mary stopped and gave her mom a kiss on the cheek. “I will see you tonight mom. Love you!” She said as she walked out to the bus.

 

As she got onto the bus she said good morning to the bus driver Mrs. Glass. She walked past her brother who was sitting with his best friend Jack. She gave the two of them a little smirk knowing that if she waved that she would look like a dork. As she walked to the back of the bus she saw her friend Elizabeth sitting alone. “Well I guess I will give her some company” she thought in her head.

 

“Hey Mary.” “Hey Lizzy, How are you today?” “Oh I am good. Yesterday was boring. I had to sit at the doctor’s office.” “Oh. Why? Are you okay?” Oh yeah. I am fine. It was just get shots and a check up. Thanks for asking Mary.” “No problem.” “So what’s going on with you Mar?” “Nothing much, we’re getting new neighbors.” “Omg really? Someone is moving into that old abandoned house?” “Yeah” Mary said as the bus pulled up to the school. “Well I guess I will see you tomorrow, but I have to run to the gym I forgot my books yesterday!” “Okay Lizzy. See you later.” Mary looked back at her brother as she got off the bus and he slightly waved to her. She smiled really big at him and got off making sure to tell Mrs. Glass to have a good day.  As she walked into her school she saw a newer girl walking with her mom. “Hmm looks like that is the women who is moving in next door. Awsome that means I will have someone to hang out with!”

 

Mary then walked into class and started another boring day at school.

 

To be continued…

Comments

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On July 20th 2007 kyolover086 Said :
kyolover086 WOW. SO MANY "M" NAMES!!! Ha ha. Only I would be the one to notice that. But I must say that I agree with Aleera00. Description is what makes a story good. With good description, a reader can visualize what the character is seeing, doing, their surroudings, and what they look like. Also, introducing too many people at once is VERY confusing. You might want to add a litle more writing in between each character introduction. Such as, 'Mary sat and looked at the bowl of cereal before her. Her growling stomach freminded her that she was hungry, and she filled her bowl eagerly. When she heard footsteps coming down the stairs, she knew that it would be her brother, Mike.' That is what I'm talking about.
On July 8th 2007 Aleera00 Said :
Aleera00 It's pretty good but try describing a few things like, her hair, you could say 'Mary slowly got out of bed and looked in the mirror, her usually strait brown hair was about as neat as a birds nest' or something of the like. Also try not to introduce so many characters at once.
On July 8th 2007 twilightx28 Said :
twilightx28 Sounds pretty good so far.
On July 8th 2007 MelissaDA Said :
MelissaDA keep me posted, i like it.
On July 7th 2007 cocopuff2005 Said :
cocopuff2005 I hope you guys like it!