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“We were leaving the building when John discovered her.” I said as I played the memory over in my mind. “Crystal lying in the dumpster behind the store. Her eyes were blank and the blood had trickled down from her throat across her face. John had just gone to throw something away. He freaked out, grabbed for his phone, but was shaking so hard he dropped it, so I dialed 911and called you guys.” I said as I cradled the warm cup of coffee. The detectives paced around me in the small interrogation room, gray walls, and no windows I felt kind of crowded.

“What were you and John still doing at the store at ten o'clock at night?” Detective Ruby asked as he sat on the edge of the table. “Doesn't Dollar General close at eight o'clock?” He questioned. I hid my face, I can't believe we were finally getting caught.

“John and I have a...relationship. Sort of.” The detectives turned and looked at me.

“What do you mean you have a relationship?” Detective Johnson asked. 'God, I can't believe I'm about to admit this.' I thought to myself. I took a deep breath.

“My high school prom was about three months ago and I took my now ex-boyfriend.” I explained while trying not to make eye contact. “That night my boyfriend raped me and about a month later I didn't get my period so I bought a pregnancy test from the dollar store and being store policy John checked me out. He looked concerned and allowed me to use the bathroom at the store. After I sat there on the floor for about a half hour, John came back to check on me. Luckily the test was negative, but the gesture that he cared about me sparked something between us, but once I actually met his family” I said defending myself. “I wanted to stop our relationship. I told him that his wife was more important to him and that he shouldn't lose everything he's worked of because of me. That's why we were there so late, I was trying to convince him that we needed to tell Annie, his wife and that they should work on their relationship. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I knew that I destroyed John's marriage.” I said breathing a little easier knowing that I had actually confessed to having an affair with a married man.

“So you were sleeping with you manager and while leaving the building after doing the dirty deed you find an ex-co-worker, whom you had a falling out with, dead in the dumpster. Something just doesn't add up here.” Detective Ruby glared at me as if accusing me.

“Look Crystal and I had our problems, but once she was gone I was fine.” I yelled. “I have no reason to want her dead, yeah I may have hated her, but I would never wish her dead.” I stood in my fit of anger. “You know what I was fine with you questioning me and everything, but now you're accusing me when I told you I didn't kill her! I'm out of here. Call my brother if you have a problem with that! I snapped at them as they stood in protest of my statements. I stalked out of the door and Andy tried to catch up with me.

“Riz? Riz? What happened?” He grabbed my arm and swung me around to face him. Hot tears streaked down my face. I gazed into his gorgeous coffee brown eyes.

“They actually think I killed her.” I squeaked. He wrapped his arms around me. It felt good to have him hold me, but at the same time weird because as a senior in high school I had made my way around, if you catch my drift,see I have dated a lot of the single guys on the force or the fire department, I've even dated a couple of teachers at my high school. I never really liked dating someone my own age, and about three months ago, finally sealed the deal. I cried for a minute before Alex busted through the door.

“Charisma Rogue James!” he yelled. I turned and faced him. “Are you nuts?! He boomed. “Making a scene like that, makes you look guilty.” He said.

“I didn't hurt her! They accused me of killing Crystal!” I cried. Alex glared at the detectives standing in the doorway, then walked toward them.

“Guys, what's going on?”

“Just the normal questioning, Mr. Mayor.” Detective Ruby smirked. “We didn't think she'd get so upset.”

“Look, guys, I know this seems like I'm saying she can do no wrong, but if she said she didn't do it, then I can guarantee she didn't. There is only one person that she would ever want to kill and she'd even admit to that.” Alex said pointing back to me. I walked up to my brother's side.

“I swear, I would never want Crystal dead. She may have been a pain in my ass, but she had a family and I can't imagine what her family is going through, but I know what it's like to grow up without a mother and I'd never want that for anyone, especially not her kids.” I said calming down a little. Just as I finished speaking when Detective Johnson's cell phone rang.

“Ken.” He answered. “Really? Okay, thank you Dr. Morgan.” He hung up. “That was the coroner and he believes that Crystal was stabbed with a short knife like object and then her throat was cut with the same object.” He said.

“Did he say a short knife?” I asked.

“Yeah, why?”

“Because we have box cutters at work that we use. Here's mine.” I said handing my box cutter over to Detective Johnson.

“Thank you, Miss James, we'll have this processed to eliminate you as a suspect.” He said then walked away.

“Alex will you take me home?” I asked.

“Sorry kid I can't I've got things to do.” He replied.

“If it's okay, I can take you home. “ I heard John say from behind me. I turned to face him.

“I guess that will be okay.” I said as I walked away with him. We walked down the hall and out of the building.

“Are you okay?” He asked as we walked to his car. I leaned against the car.

“I guess, I just can't believe this is happening.” I said as I laid my head back on the roof of the car. :They know.” I said quietly.

“What?!” He exclaimed.

“They asked why we were there so late and I told them the truth.”

“Why?”

“Because I'm tired of making up excuses.” I said looking him in the eye. “I want this to end , I don't want to be responsible for tearing your family apart.” I said. “We've already discussed this, John, we have to come clean, Annie deserves to know. You two need to work this out and I don't need the drama.” I said as I opened the car door and got in. John closed my door and walked around the car.

“When should we tell her?” He asked me as he started the car.

“As soon as possible, I want to get this over with.” I said as I put my feet on the dashboard as I always had. John just looked at me.

“Hey, did you know your leg is bleeding?” He said as he reached across me to touch my right leg of my beige work pants.

“Uh...Yeah I just scratched a bug bite too hard and it bled.” I lied. John dropped me off in front of my house and my step mom was standing on the porch.

“Alex called.” that was all she said as I climbed the stairs to the porch. “Are you sleeping with him?” She questioned as she sat down on the swing.

“What do you want to hear?” I said, not looking at her.

“The truth.”

“Then, yeah, I was sleeping with him.”

“Was? As in not anymore?” A look of hope crossed her face.

“Yeah, I can't do that to Annie, You know, I think there is something seriously wrong with me.” I said sitting down beside her on the swing.

“Why?”

“Because I knew he was married and had a kid, yet I continued to sleep with him. I mean yeah, I've hooked up with some of the guys on the force and stuff, but they were all single, what's my problem?” I asked turning to her. “Am I a slut?” it had to have been the dumbest question I've ever asked, especially since I knew the answer to that question.

“No, you just lost your footing in life and latched to the one thing that brought you comfort.” She answered. “If you'd like we can go back to counseling?” She said.

“I think I need it bad now.” I joked at my current situation. We went back in the house and I took a shower. I needed after all I'd been through in the past couple of days. I got out of the shower and wrapped my orange and yellow towel around me making sure that it came to my knees, so no one could see my thighs. I walked out of the bathroom, then up the attic stairs to my room. I sat on my bed and started to put on my cinnamon and sandal wood lotion. I worked the cool cream into my skin from my neck to my legs as I pulled the towel off my legs my eyes ran across the multiple red cuts on the top half of my right thigh. I ran a finger over them gently, shamed filled my heart and head as I let soft tears fall from my eyes. Why did I do this to myself? I know it's wrong, yet I continually pull the blade

across my tanned skin. I got up and got dressed then I looked in the mirror, my green eyes were always the first thing I noticed, then I would look at my frizzy, red hair. 'Just like her mother.' I could hear my grandparents say. I reached up and touched my full red lips. 'She's a spitting image of her mother.' My step-mom would often tell my dad. Sadness filled my eyes as I cried at the thought of how I'm letting them down. Every morning I promised I'd do my best, but sometimes it seems that my best just isn't enough. I just skated by and that seemed okay, but in my heart I knew I could do better. I pulled on my running shoes and ran down stairs and out the back door. Running was my only escape it seemed like, me, the ground and the wind. I never had a plan of where I was going, I just ran. My heart beat thundered in my ears as I whispered the words to Me and Bobby McGee by Janis Joplin. It was my favorite song because my mother sang it to me when I was younger. My favorite memory I have is my mom and dad dancing to that song in our kitchen when I was about six, we were making cookies from my girl scout troop. “He's looking for that home and I hope he finds it, but I'll trade all of my tomorrows for one single yesterday.” I sang as I ran.

“Don't quit your day job.” I heard someone say, so looked to my left and saw Jamie running along side me. “What happened now?” He asked as he pushed ahead of me.

“What makes you think somethings wrong?” I asked as I evened up with him.

“Well, you're running for one and two you're singing Bobby McGee and you only do that when you're sad.” He said slowing down to a stop.

“Nothing new, just thinking about my mom and life really.” I said stretching my legs out. I smiled at Jamie as he tried to catch his breath. He was my neighbor and my best friend, Jamie and I have this weird connection, see Jamie was raised like hardcore religion, you know church every Sunday and Wednesday and reading the bible before bed, but me, Hell, I'd be surprised if I was up by noon on a Sunday. I go to church on the holidays, mostly just to please my dad, but at least I go right? Well, unlike his family, Jamie has never judged me and I bet he's saved me from myself a couple of time.