World of White : Chapter 1

  Nate walks in. He unlocked my door without knocking. He could get written up. He locks the door behind him. He has the only key. Oh shit. He has that look. I curl into the corner. The glass is too strong. Can't break it. No sharp corners. No books, no pen, no shoe laces. Nothing. Suppose I could hit him with a pillow... This isn't good. Not good at all. He's reaching for me. Touching my hair. His converse are dirty. He is dirty. He is a pedophile. I told. No one believes. They leave me alone. With him. I want to forget. I try so hard. He comes up behind me at the drinking fountain. Runs his hand up my leg, under the hospital gown. The hard didget forces itself inside me. I scream. No one comes. It is only me and him. I grasp the fountain, then swing a hard left. I get put on lockdown. Attacking personel. I told the doctors. They told me to take my pills. Why won't they believe me? Oh god. He's on my bed. He's pulling at my pants. I scream and scream. No one comes. I scream more. Someone comes. I hear the footsteps. He hears them too. He jumps off my bed, unlocks the bathroom. He hides. I cry. Muriel pounds the door, telling me to open it, to give her the key. I sob that I don't have it. She tells me I'm in trouble. I'm always in trouble. The door gives way under her massive strength. She finds me sobbing on the bed, holding my knees. I point to the bathroom. She nods. I think she'll open the door, find Nate. Punish him. She doesn't. She leaves the room and comes back with a needle. I hate needles. I hate this place. I hate the world of white. She flips me over. Stabs me with the needle. My vision blurs. Too many drugs in my system. Why is this place still here. I thought when you died you went to heaven? This isn't heaven... Maybe I just haven't been lucky enough to die yet. So much black, falling. The black is better than the white, always better than the white...