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Had a bad day? Here are 5 ways to perk yourself back up.
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 Created on 10-27-07
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I'm also lonely, depressed, somewhat irritable, hungry, tired, and prone to start crying for no particular reason. Just in case anyone cares.
The good news is that I have a solution for all of these problems. In fact, I have a very detailed perscription that will take care of all of this, and because I am basically a cool person, I'm going to share it with the rest of you, so that you too may live happy, prosperous lives once you rid yourselves of these ailments. And if you have the mental capacity to handle all of those big words, please read on...
1)The first step is to play at least six hours of videogames. Any game will do, but I've found that the most effective ones are those that have a lot of shooting, killing, fighting, crashing, or some other form of very graphic violence. My favorite for this is Grand Theft Auto San Andres. This is because I can just walk down the street and kill everything in sight, and I can do it either sober or on acid...then, when I've satisfied my blood lust, I can go pick up a prostitute. Does life get any better than that?
2) The second step is to eat greasy, cheesy, calorific, crunchy, wonderful mexican food, preferably from taco bell, as they serve the greasiest of all, and I promise there is absolutely nothing healthful about thier food. This is important. . I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "But Brittnee, how are tacos even remotely close to being considered therapautic?". Trust me, my friend. There is nothing more therapautic than a crunch wrap supreme. Nothing.
3) Sleep for 18+ hours. This is helpful for obvious reasons, but I'll explain anyway. First of all, when you are sleeping you can't be depressed, bored, or even really think for that matter. Secondly, you can dream about cool things like flying, and there is nothing depressing about flying. Or boring.
4) Take a two hour aromatherapy bubble bath. The bubbles are really important, and if you have any incence, burn it. Sandalwood and Chamomile are both very relaxing scents. And light some candles for crying out loud. You'll probably want to turn out all the lights to get the full effect, and I recommend listening to Enya or Dido. If you aren't quite that hardcore a bather, Then just lose the candles, and put on some Pink Floyd or Jethro Tull. Make sure to use all of the hot water though, as pissing off any family members/roomates is a definate plus to this part. Ruining someone else's day is always uplifting.
5)The fifth, and final, step of this journey to happiness and enlightenment is to get laid. Have sex, get some, get jiggy with it, bump uglies, do the nasty...whatever you want to call it. This is sometimes the hardest part, as there seem to be no decent people left in the world. If you know of any, give them my number. I'm stuck on this one right now.
But seriously you guys, give this a try. I promise you won't be disappointed.
Good day, and God help us all.
Comments
Please Login to post comments| On October 28th 2007 LokiSeto Said : | |
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Hehehe... I like it. And I agree with the sleeping. And ofcourse having sex relieves alot of problems. Just make sure you're with someone that can last more then 15 minutes. HA! |
