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Bella Mattina- a love story. Please read and tell me what you think :)

Ten Things That Everyone Should Do With Their Lives...

Other Created on 10-26-07 Views(98) Story Rating G

Ten Things That Everyone Should Do With Their Lives

1)reproduce as much as possible

2)find love-this can be done before the previous, but does not necessarily have to be

3)If you're male-play video games as much as possible, and if it's not possible, make it possible. Also, make sure to name every car that passes. This is essential to human existence

4)If you're female-spend as much of male counterparts money as possible on shoes and/ or purses. Also, make sure to play video games a lot, but only when male is not looking so as not to subject oneself to being called a hypocrite by male.

5)Everyone, male and female alike, should lie, cheat and steal as much as possible, without getting caught. If you are caught you should lie, cheat, or steal your way out of danger. If you cannot lie, cheat, or steal your way out of it, then one may have to kill. This is only acceptable after all faucets of escape have been exhausted. If homicide is unsuccessful in depleating the danger, suicide may be the best answer. If this does not work, it doesn't really matter because you are dead. I cannot tell you what may happen to you at this point, that is another pondering altogether.

6)Become a materialistic consumer of objects with monetary value. AKA- collect a lot of expensive crap. This may require money, but if none is readily available, see number 5.

7)Explore yourself and try to achieve self actualization. This has never been done before, so best of luck to you, and if you so happen to discover the person that you really are, or why you do the things that you do, please call me, as I have yet to figure this one out.

8)Get a cat. A dog is a sufficient substitute, but only in the case of allergies. Cats are, always have been, and always shall be, superior in every way to dogs, and in fact, all other animals, maybe including humans. Dog lovers know this, they are just in denial.

9)Never admit your own faults. We all have them, so there is really no reason to feel bad about yourself because you pick your nose or run over small children with large vehicles on purpose. However, do make sure to dwell on everyone else's problems and faults, as this will make you feel better about yourself, and isn't really hurting anybody anyway. Except for the small children.

10) Have fun. Listen to loud music, eat all the carbs you want, and for crying out loud, dance naked on poles wearing nipple tassels- just don't use super glue, for the nipple tassels or anything else. Unless you want to be glued to something permanently. Remember that the government stinks. You can consider their laws to be simply norms, which do not have to be followed, as conformity is frowned upon by self actualized people. Not that any of us are self actualized. Refer to number 7.

Comments

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On October 26th 2007 onaipwolf Said :
onaipwolf This is awesome. I enjoyed the sarcasm. :)
On October 26th 2007 Thugnastay227 Said :
Thugnastay227 I agree with the previous comment this was funny and i do not know if it was wholly intended. if you feel like a good laugh you should check out something I posted Titled Tips on how to survive horror/monster movies. again i loved reading this. nice.
On October 26th 2007 atavanhalen Said :
atavanhalen Lmao... I don't know if you were trying to be serious or what. But I found it extremely sarcastic and i laughed a good laugh.