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bowzlady1

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I clutched the letter in my hand. Today. Today. Today. I kept thinking to myself.

I looked around my house and it's emptiness. I got up from the floor with tears staining my cheeks and walked into my bedroom. The shoes and clothes that had once been thrown around the room had been picked up and removed. I opened up the closet only to find the same thing.

Just the mere sight had more tears forming and dropping. I knew depression was another sign of pregnancy, but this was going a bit far. I picked up the house phone that was sitting on the stand and called Nadine.

"Hello?"

"Nadine, I need you to take me somewhere. How fast can you get here?"

"Uh, about 15 minutes. Are you okay?"

"No but it doesnt matter," I said wiping my eyes. "Nothing matters"

With that I hung up the phone.

Less that 15 minutes later the doorbell rang. When I opened it Nadine saw my face and she immediately thought that something was wrong.

"Oh my goodness, Tasha, why are you crying? What happened?" She said pulling me into a hug.

She looked on the floor and saw  the money sitting there. Then She saw the note in my hand and held her hand out for me to give it to her.

She read it thouroughly and then looked at me again. "So you and Jamal are getting a divorce?"

I nodded.

"And I take it you dont want one?"

I shook my head no.

She took a deep breath. "So you want me to take you to him?"

I shook my head no again. "I want you to take me to the clinic."

When she raised a brow I continued. "I want to end my pregnancy"

She didnt say a word as she opened the door and held it open so I could exit. I decided not to tell her about the other man, and the fact that it was his baby. At least not yet.

When we got to the clinic I had to fill out a few papers and then I was told to wait in the waiting room. My sister sat beside me and I sat beside another woman waiting to get rid of her baby.

I noticed the woman shaking and I felt bad for her. Out of curiosity I felt the need to ask her how far along she was.

"How far along are you?"

She shiverred. "Im 11 weeks." She tried to give a smile but she was so nervous. I saw a single tear come out of her eyes and then the confessions came.

"Its Just... Im so stupid. I should have known better than to get pregnant by a married man. Sometimes I dont know whats wrong with me. I try to be a good person, I try to do the right thing, and then I do something so wrong and all my efforts are just worthless"

She continued sobbing and I couldnt help but to feel her pain. Wasnt I just saying the same thing about myself? But still something about her story made me feel like I should know her. When I turned to my right Nadine was gone. I looked all around the room and I didnt see her. Maybe she went to the bathroom.

3 minutes later My cell phone started vibrating in my pocket. Jamals name popped up on the screen. "Hello?"

"Tasha, why are you getting an abortion?"

"Jamal what are you talking about?"

I couldnt help but notice that when I said Jamal's name the girls eyes widened. I found this strange but I didnt say anything.

"Nadine Just told me you're at the clinic about to get an abortion"

so thats where she ran off to.

"Jamal I cant do this. I cant keep this baby. Its not yours, it's not ours. And another thing, Im not divorcing you. I refuse to sign the papers." I said in one breath.

He didnt say anything for a short while and so I looked over at the girl sitting beside me again and she was in shock. Thats when it hit me. This was the girl that Jamal had gotton pregnant.

"Tasha you dont have to get an abortion" he said.

I heard him but all I was thinking about was the fact that I had even for a second took pity on this home wrecker. Then again, she was in the same predicament I was in and I wouldnt mind if someone took pity on me.

"Did you tell her to get an abortion Jamal?"

"Huh? Who?"

"The woman you get pregnant. Did you tell her to get an abortion?"

"She chose to," he said sadly. "There was nothing I could do"

He noticed the silence in my voice. "She's there isnt she"

how the hell does he always know everything?

"Umhumm"

"Tasha go home... dont do it."

I felt the tears burning at the corners of my eyes. I took a deep breath and hung up the phone.

I sat there a second and then got up. Realizing I couldnt do it. I ran out to the car where Nadine was waiting.

We drove home in silence. When we pulled up I saw Jamal's car in the driveway.

"Talk to him. Talk to your husband"

I kissed my sister on the cheek. "I will, thanks sis"

When I walked into the house Jamal was sitting on the couch.

"Did you?" he asked.

I shook my head no. He came over and gave me a hug. "Good"

I wasnt sure what I should say next. "So what now? Jamal I dont want you to leave, I was just angry. I didnt mean what I said. But, You havent been making it easy on me either. You should have told me about her.

"I know that, and im sorry. But were gonna fix this... were gonna fix everything."

He kissed me on my lips so passionately. I forgot I had been crying for most of the day. I forgot about our argument. Instead I focused on the man In front of me. If felt so right.