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Two knocks interrupted my feast. “PJ?” Alexis’s voice came through, shockingly quiet.

            “Yeacummin,” I mumbled.

            Her round face, still pudgy with baby fat, poked inside. She sniffled and knelt down next to me.

            “Mom’s being totally unfair,” she whined. Ah, there was that beloved scowl. “Katy got hers done like two years ago. Okay well, not two years ago, but you know what I mean.”

            My brain felt like a fruit salad. I would not be smoking that shit again. “Got what done?”

            “Her bellybutton. God, PJ, don’t you ever pay attention?”

            I picked a piece of granola out from in between my teeth. “Not really.”

            She gave a little grunt of frustration. “So, like, Mom won’t let me pierce mine. I’m thirteen! I’m not a little kid. And she let you get a tattoo.”

            “Whoa,” I said, putting my hand over her mouth. “No, she didn’t.”

            “Then why do you have one?”

            I struggled to stick the right words together. “I… know a guy.”

            “Gavin?”

            My laughter came out in a long breathy stream. “No, that idiot only gets stuff via step-daddy. I know a guy guy.”

            She didn’t answer, but stared at me instead, looking kind of frightened. “Are you okay?”

            “Uh huh, really good.”

            She kept staring and suddenly her jaw dropped. “Oh my god! PJ, are you… high?”

            Crap burning in a paper bag on the White House doorstep. Three second ticked by in panic mode, then I saved my butt by saying, “No, this is just what high school does to you.” She didn’t look completely convinced, but was at least pondering that idea. “Go away, I have homework. Maybe I’ll take you to my guy sometime.” Key word maybe.

            She perked up and hopped out of my room, humming giddily.

Things spiraled onward. My life became a scrumptious meal of Gavin with a side of Gavin topped with extra Gavin.

            His parents had gone off to attend to a dead great uncle somewhere in Connecticut, and we had the whole weekend to ourselves.

            In the middle of a heated tongue battle, I detached my face from his, smiling when he whined in protest. Perched at the end of his bed, I unzipped my hoodie slowly. I unh-tss-ed under my breath like the heavy bass beat in a techno song. He lunged at me and tore it off of me.

            “Don’t tease, I don’t like that,” he growled. There was a smile on his lips as he pressed them to my shoulder. I slipped my hands underneath his shirt to trace his lean muscle. I was so jealous. He exercised even less than I did but I could never obtain that kind of tone. There should have been some phrase to make me feel better.

            I didn’t realize I’d tensed up until he lifted his head and asked me what was wrong.

            “Look at yourself!” I complained and poked his stomach.

            He grinned. “I know. I’m a beast.”

            “Totally,” I said sarcastically.

            “Shush, baby.” He took the hem of my tank top in his hands and inched it up my waist. My skin prickled pleasantly and melted under his fingertips. His eyes glinted yellow at mine before he shut them and kissed my bellybutton. Something came to me then.

            “How far are we going?” I asked.

            Instead of answering, he unbuttoned my jeans. Subconsciously my knees curled up, hitting him in the chest. “Sorry, you okay?”

            “Yes,” I said. I mean, besides my heart having just dropped into my intestines I was peachy.

            He examined my expression and then smirked. “Yeah, I’m freaking out too.”

            “I’m not freaking out,” I lied.

            He bit his bottom lip knowingly. “I’ll take my clothes off first, okay?” he offered, backing off me. I cocked my head to the side and watched him pull down his jeans.

            “Nice boxers,” I said. They were black with the Batman symbol printed all over.

            He laughed and took his shirt off. “Your turn,” he said. Even in the dark, I could tell that his cheeks were flushed. Gavin embarrassed? We must be entering an apocalypse.

            I stared him up and down. “Socks.”

            He stripped them off and threw them at me. “Your turn or I’ll do it myself,” he threatened.

            I got to my feet, hands raised in surrender. Tank top, then jeans, then socks. His mouth had fallen open slightly in some reaction I couldn’t read. I hadn’t really planned for this night; I was wearing a red bra and bright blue underwear. Those against my pale skin made me look like an American Pride pin-up girl.

            “You are so adorable,” he breathed. Not sexy, but I wasn’t really hoping to achieve that. He met my eyes. “I love you.”

            “I love you.” I closed the distance between us and pressed my mostly bare skin against his, like pouring gasoline over an open fire.