Running

" May! Lunch is ready!" my sister screamed out as her laziness decided not to walk here. I enter the kitchen and then another of her suggestions comes out of her mouth but I always ignore her because they’re always the same. " May why don’t you ever go hang out with those other kids?" she asked why eating her toast. " I don’t want to, beside they wouldn’t want to hang out with a cripple." I said as eating my cereal. We didn’t have enough milk so I had to eat it with water mixed with milk.

When I was eating I could see the girl that went to my school. She always made fun of me on how I looked really ugly and my legs weren’t as good as hers. I didn’t like how guys always go to her. Every time they were around her she acted like an innocent child. If they knew how she was I bet they wouldn’t be around her. I got so mad thinking about how bad she treats me.

She turned and saw me through the window I quickly turned away. They were laughing; I knew they were laughing at me. I just ignored them.

Tears ran down my cheek and hit the paper. I closed my book and washed my face. I stared at the mirror. I kept telling myself that I was really ugly and maybe she was right about me being ugly. The tears went down again. For some reason this time it didn’t hurt as much. I wiped my tears off and went to the living room.

I was watching television and I saw Mary rushing around the house. I didn’t really care; I knew she was going somewhere. " May have you seen my car keys anywhere?" she asked digging in the couch seats. " Have you looked under the couch?" she went digging under the couch. " Oh, here it is. Thanks. I’m going out okay and I probably won’t be home till nine or ten and there are left-overs so when ever your hungry just heat it up." She zoomed out the door liker a rapist chasing after her.

I was in my room drawing comics. All I thought about was one day to be able to walk on the sands of the beach. To sit and the sands buried in between my toes. To run with wind and to have the winds blow my dark brown hair. But then again I couldn’t. I started to get hungry. I decided to make myself some scrambled eggs. It was kind of hard for me because Mary usually makes the eggs for me. I was starting to put corn oil on, the handle was a little slippery then I dropped it. It fell on my lap instead of the floor so then I was so greasy. I got mad at I myself and quickly went to the room to change. I went back to the kitchen to put my eggs in. I finally finished. I went to living room to watch television.

I finished my food and went to take a bath from all the grease. I lay down on the tub. The water was warm and relaxing. I thought about how my life would be like when I grow older. I cried inside knowing I probably won’t last long and probably die a virgin. I got out and dried myself.

I went to the living room and laid myself on the couch. As I flipped through the channel, I slowing was falling asleep. My eyed went dead.

I woke up in a room I didn’t recognize. I started to panic. I saw that my legs were tied up and my arms were tied up also. I tried to get out but it was so tight that I was afraid my arms were going to rip off. I sat still not knowing what to do. The room was dark and the only light was coming out of the window that seemed to have bars around it.

I looked around examining the room. I saw a closet that was closed and the floor’s carpet was dirty. I saw in the left corner a camera. I wondered what that camera was for. I heard someone coming. They seemed to be hitting everything on the way. I sat quietly and I could hear my heart beat. The closer it came the louder my heart was. The tears rushed down my cheeks as I thought this was the last time I was going to live. The door opened slowly, I saw a big man at the door. He seemed to have enormous arms and tall. He came closer to me and his hands reached over towards my arm. As he touched there was a sharp pain going through there. He let go and I saw his eyes. They were light brown, a little hazel. His smile scared me the most. I wanted to scream but I couldn’t. Nothing came out of my mouth. It got dark and I heard speaking of a young teen. The voice seemed familiar but I couldn’t get whom. I then woke from that darkness in the living room. It was my own house. It seemed to be quite but I didn’t care, as long as I was home.

Thinking about my dream I cried holding on to my pillow. Mary wasn’t home. I thought maybe she found a job or at a friend’s house. I looked everywhere for a note. She usually has a note for me if something came up but I couldn’t find anything. I started to get scared but I just calmed myself down when I felt like that.

Four days passed and I haven’t seen Mary home at all. I called her cell phone so many times but she didn’t pick up the phone. I was worried but I couldn’t do anything about it. Damn useless legs can’t do anything. I called one last time. Some one picked up. " Hello?" a man said. " Is Mary there?" I asked. " Who is this?" the man said. " I’m her sister so can I talk to her!" I said getting impatient. " I’m sorry but we found her body off the side of her car. We assume maybe a murder. Where do you live?" the man said. I couldn’t say anything. I didn’t believe this man at all. I didn’t want to. " I live on Kings Street, in the apartment, apartment number 12." I said. " Okay, we’re coming over." The man said and left.

I hung up in shock, so much in shock I couldn’t cry. I waited for the door to be knocked by someone. Then finally someone knocked on it. I opened it and standing two men in uniforms. " Come with us and we’ll show you where your sister is." One said.

They were driving at a place I never recognize or ever seen there. I got out and they pointed over where she was. I saw her body. It was lying on the ground. " We think that someone came and took her out and beat her to death with a bat. We are not sure who did it but we will soon. When we find out we’ll tell you." The man said. I was speechless. The crying stopped but the tears were rolling down my face like hard rain against the windows. " Do you have a relative near by?" that man asked. " No. It was just my sister and I, that’s all I have. I don’t know any other relatives." I said. " Well then we’re going to put you in a foster home. We’ll put you in the one down this block okay?" he said. I nodded. I got some of my clothing and my diary. Mary and I didn’t have any pictures to remember. I wished I did now that this had happened. I wish I could have gave her more hugs and said I loved her more often.

The foster home wasn’t so far away from my house, so I didn’t have to change schools. I was hoping to but this foster home didn’t have enough money for me to go to a new school. I saw lots of teens in the house. Most looked like they were from a gang or something. Some had piercing all over their face and some had really bagging clothing and some just looked like they were on drugs. I knew that their parents abandoned them and so did mine.

I’ve been here for several days and not one person has spoken to me, at least said hi or smiled but they decide to stare and make fun of my disability. Some even pushed me off my chair and I couldn’t do anything but wait till someone came and picked me up. Right when I thought this wasn’t going to end till I saw a girl that had a wheel chair like. I was surprised to see that. She caught my eye looking at her. She came over to me. I looked down at my legs not knowing what to do.

" Hi. Are you new here, because I haven’t seen you yet?" she asked. " Um. I was here for only a few days." I said. My voice was really quite. I thought maybe she could be one of these people. " Well I see that you’re alone so wanna hang out with me?" she asked. " Follow me if you want." She left. I chased after her. " Where are we going?" I asked. " Oh somewhere." She said.

Every body that she passes they said hello to her and smiled. It seemed like these people like her and she seemed to know everybody. She looked like me but every body got along with her. I was so confused and yet jealous. " How long have you been here?" I asked. " Oh…about my whole life." She said. Wow. No wonder she knows every body, well every body knew her. I was amazed. I was glad to meet her.

2 years later

I looked down at my legs like I have done for the past years. This time I was happy, this time she was next to me. I wiggled my toes as I have wished my whole life. I looked at her but she was still in her wheel chair. I guess she didn’t want a change in her life. Actually she was proud if it. Every body liked her because of it and she will stay like that for eternity. Kimberly was happy for me. I was and will always. This time my dream came true. I can run with wind and I can walk in sand of the beach.

Kimberly and I became really good friends. She was there for me and will always be there for me even when I didn’t need it. I was there for her even when I wasn’t much help. We went to the same school and had most classes together. I loved her like the sister I once had and a great friend that can never depart from me.

It took me a while to get use to my legs. I practice a lot and all the time. I felt like a toddler that didn’t know how to walk yet. Kimberly was there with me when I was trying my hardest. I then finally got use to my legs. I could walk but my running wasn’t as good as a normal kid. I ran like a retard or something but if I kept on running I probably would do better than other kids.

We started a new semester at school. Kimberly and I were sophomores and loved the life like it was the best.

The students there were so surprised to see with out a wheel chair. I was surprised too. I didn’t want people to think differently about my legs or me. They didn’t really though. They still saw me as the cripple girl that couldn’t do anything. They still didn’t show respect to me.

Class was over and I was outside waiting for my ride. I felt a tap on my shoulders; I grabbed the hand squeezing the fingers thinking it would be a bully. " Ouch!! That hurt. Do you do that to everybody?" he asked rubbing his hands. " Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to dot that to you. I thought you were going to do something to me." I said grabbing his hands. I thought for a moment then let go. " Um…sorry." I looked down at my feet. " It’s okay. Wow." He said looking up and down. I felt weird and violated. I crossed my legs and arms. " So do you or not?" he asked. " About what?" I asked pretending to forget. " You know, the dance." He said and put his hands on my shoulder. " Oh, that. I have to think about it." I said and pushed his hands off. My car came. " Well I have to go. See you tomorrow." I left. I got in the car smiling. I turned back and saw him smiling too. I giggled to myself. " What’s wrong with you?" the driver asked. " Nothing, well nothing that concerns you." I said and turned away. I thought maybe having my surgery did change in some people’s eyes.

The next day I was getting ready for school. I thought maybe I should dress better to empress Henry. After what happen yesterday, I think I could get a chance.

I got to school and right there he was waiting for me. He saw me and ran towards me. I didn’t know what to do. I had so many thoughts in my head I felt dizzy. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned and it was Henry. " So do you still need more time or can you give me an answer now?" he asked. " I guess." I said seeming like it didn’t matter to me. " Are you sure? I mean out of all the girls you ask me?" " Well," he started off. " I like you. Not because your change but because your smart and you seem to be cool to hang out with. To tell the truth I didn’t really think about until I saw you right in front of me. I thought she was the one and you’re not like those other girls. All they talk about is the way they look, where they shop and how fat they are. But you, your different and I’d like to try something new." He held my hands. " Wow. That’s a lot to say. Well I’ll give you a chance since you’re so cute." I pinched his cheeks and walked to Kimberly.

" I see you found someone to go with to the dance." She said elbowing me. " I guess. He’s not all that but he is cute." I said. " Well don’t get too close because it might hurt you in some way and he isn’t always like this. He could be rough not that he is but some guys do tend to do that." She said. I thought of something to say so it won’t seem like he’s a bad person. " Well its okay, you don’t have to worry about me." I say.

The next day I wake up in excitement. Today was the day of the dance. I knew some moves but I’m not that good. But as long as I look good enough then it’s all-good. I had a red wife-beater on and jean caprees with a black sweater. I tied my hair into a pony tale and left.

I walked out and start walking. I saw some girls coming. The same girls from back in middle school. They seemed like a higher class than me. I tried to avoid them and walk past. One of the girls bump into me, I didn’t say anything. I just kept on walking.

" Bitch you ain’t even gonna apologize?" she said. I stopped and turned around. " Well, I’m sorry." I say and turn around again. I started to walk until I felt someone hit me in the back. I drop my books and turn around. A fist swings at me. I back up trying to avoid her punches. Someone grabbed me from the waist and pulled me away. It was Henry. I was so happy to see a guy come at me like that. " Hey no fighting! Especially you! You don’t even know her." He yelled at her. " Babe what the hell are you doing here with her? She’s not worth it and you know you still love me!" she says trying to get me jealous. " Girl don’t even play like that!" he said. He picked up me books and dragged my hand.

" You okay? Did she hurt you?" he asked looking around. " I took my books, " yeah I’m okay. You know her?" I asked. " Oh, yeah. I dated her long time ago. She still hangs on to me thinking I’m going to get back with her." he answered. " Do you still love her?" I asked. " Well unless it’s too private." " No, don’t worry bout that but yeah I use to." There was a silence. " Well till I found out she was taking drugs then I left her. I didn’t want a girl that inside is all dirty. But when I see you I know you clean." I said.

" Heh. Yeah you must have some good way of telling people." I say. He just smiles at me.

We got to school and he walked me to my class. He hugged me. I notice that some guys were staring at me. I didn’t really like that attention. I turned and I saw a few girls looking my way. I looked back down and did my work.

Someone then taps me on the shoulder. It was one of the guys. I don’t really remember his name though. " Are you going out with Henry?" he asked. " Um no, we’re just friends. Why?" I asked. " Naw, just wondering." He left. I thought that was kind of awkward but then I didn’t care.

The day was going so slow. I couldn’t wait till later on the day to be with Henry. I thought how the day would go like. I thought maybe he would ask me to be his girlfriend or something. Maybe even give me a kiss but then it’s just my stupid dreams.

Sixth period came by. Finally I thought. Two minutes till the bell rings. I kept my eye on the time. My hand shakes nervously wondering what could happen. I saw him waiting at the door. I smiled and he winked at me. I giggle to myself. The bell rings and I walk to the door.

He grabs my waist, " are you ready?" he asks. " Of course, I’m always ready." We walk to the gym where the dance was. I sit down. " He sits next to me. " do you dance?" he asks. " Do you dance?" I asked him back. " A little bit, so do you?" " Um not really I say." I said embarrassingly. " Well that’s okay. We don’t have to dance." He said. I thought that was sweet of him.

" Lets go walk around." he said and grabbed my hand. I didn’t even say anything. We walk around the field. The night was beautiful. The full moon is out and the clouds make it look mysterious. We stop. He looks at me and smiles. " Do you trust me?" he asked. " Yeah. Why?" I reply. " Nothing." I saw he had a drink. " Can I have some?" I ask. " Yeah." He hands it to me. I drink it. It had some alcohol in it but it was so good. I drank it and chug it down. " Dang, do you drink or you just that thirsty?" he asked. I just look at him. " Now there’s no more for me. Oh well, I’ll get some later." I just smile.

My head for some reason feels dizzy. I couldn’t really control myself. I was just buzz. " Hey lets go over here." He says and takes to some place. It was a hill and a few bushes and a tall tree. He sits close to me and holds me tight. I felt so sleepy. " Henry I’m sleepy, what was in that drink?" I asked. " Nothing." He replied. He laid me down. I close my eyes to rest. I feel a hand go up my shirt and his hands grab my breasts. I was too weak and dizzy to stop him.

He then puts his hands in my pants. I look at him in confusion. " What are you doing to me?" I ask and pull his hands up. " Don’t worry. Just relax." He says and puts his hands back in my pants. I pull his hands pack up again. " How can I when your hands are in my pants?" I ask again. " Girl if you don’t stop your gonna get hurt. I don’t want that!" he screams at me. I try to get away but he’s too strong.

He gets on top of me and I scream. " Shut up!" he tries to whisper. He stuffs grass into my mouth and I cry in pain. He pulls my pants down and the pain rushes through my whole body. I felt like my skin was ripping inside and bleeding. I cry wishing I never went with him and never met him.

He finally gets off me. I lay there crying to death hoping someone would fine us and beat him. But no one comes. He whispers in my ear " you’re my girl and tell anybody I’ll kill you, you understand?" he says grabbing my arm. I just nod as the tears in my eyes slide down my cheeks. He kisses me on the forehead and pulls me up. He pulls my pants up and wipes my tears away. This really confused me. He holds me in his arms till I don’t cry anymore. It felt good. It seems as the pain has gone away but when I think about I want to run away and never come back.

I finally stopped crying. " I’m not doing this because of my pleasure, I really like you May. Don’t take it the wrong way," he says as we walk back. I didn’t want to believe him but for some reason I did.

We sat outside. I was sitting on his lap and his arms around me. I almost fell asleep but then I try to stay awake because he might do something else to me. " You wanna go home?" he asks. I just nod. " At least say something girl, I’m sorry for what happened. Something came over me and I couldn’t control myself." He says and kisses me on the cheek. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to. " I guess." He said and went to the car. I got in and sat down hoping he wouldn’t take me somewhere I didn’t know.

As we were driving he would keep on looking at me. " What are you looking at?" I finally ask.

" There you said something to me. No I just can’t believe that you will actually still be with me after that. It’s not that I don’t want you its just that I’m surprised." He says. " I guess since I wanna stay with you because we had sex and I wanna stay with the person I lost it to, but why did you?" I reply. " I guess I was just desperate. I’m sorry." He said and grabbed my hand. I look at him and smile.

He walked me to my doorstep and kissed me good-bye.

In so many opinion, people said the first kiss is magical and always the best. I was lied to.

The next day I wake up thinking if I should tell anybody. I thought about Kimberly and if I should tell her. She was always there for me. She had always kept a secret. Will she keep mine?

Henry calls me. I stared at the phone thinking if I should pick up or not. " Hello?" I answered. It was quite for a moment. " Hey babe. You had a good sleep?" he asked. " Um…yeah…I did. You?" I replied. " You can say. Are you ready for school?" he asks. " Um no. Not really. Why?" I asked. " Oh… I’m outside. I’ll wait for you then." he said and hung-up.

I didn’t want to go to school anymore. I didn’t want to walk outside. Kimberly walks inside. " Hey girl. You had fun last night?" she asks. " Just a little bit." I look down. " Hmm. I guess. Well is Henry picking you up?" she asks. I didn’t listen to her. I was too busy to decide whether I should tell her or not.

" May? You there?" she asked waving her hand in my face. " Oh. Yeah just thinking. Um…Kimberly can you keep a deep secret? Just between you and me?" I ask. " Oh yeah for sure!" she say. " Well um you know Henry? Well yeah…he did something to me. Something unexpected." I say as I look around the room. " Why? What did he do?" she said putting her hand on my shoulder. Tears fall down my cheeks and rushes down my chin and drips down to my lap. My nose begins to get runny. I wipe my tears away and take a deep breath. " Henry…he held me down. Then he raped me." I cry even louder.

There was a long silence. " Kimberly don’t look at me different. I’m still the same person, it’s just, is he still the same person I met." I whisper and cry in silence. She comes around and hugs me. " I know your scared but you have to find a way to let him go. You have to find a way to escape his prison." She said. She looked at me. " Stay strong. Don’t let him get to your head. Leave him quickly and don’t ever look back at him. Don’t be scared." She said to me. " But how am I going to do that? He might rape me again and maybe even beat me to death." I yell. " Shhh! You don’t want anyone to hear. Don’t panic." She said and left the room.

I sat there confused. I got dressed and went outside. " Dang girl you took a long time." He said and unlocked the door. " I was having a conversation with a friend." I say and get in the car. " Henry I think we shouldn’t be together anymore. I think we shouldn’t talk or see each other ever again." I said hoping he wouldn’t see my sweat. " What?!" you can’t escape from me!" he started to yell. I started to get scared. " I don’t want to be with you anymore!" I screamed at him and got out of the car. I close the door and run as fast as I could.

I kept running and didn’t look back. I decided not to go to school today. I ran somewhere else so he wouldn’t come looking for me.

I took a break to sit down. There was a bench then I saw the same girls that were bitching at me for bumping them. I stopped then slowly walked passed them. " You scared girl?" one of them said. I didn’t turn. I paused for a bit, " no." " Oh yeah? You sure? If I knock you in the back of the head now would you be scared then?" she said. I turned my head, " you’re the scared one. You would come at my back. You wont get me face to face." I started walking again then surprisingly I saw Henry. How did he find me? I turned and I saw one of the girls on the phone smiling. I turned and saw that Henry was also on the phone. She called him and told him. Henry started walking towards me then I tried to run. He caught up to me and grabbed me. He held me down then the girls came and started beating on me. One had a bat and started beating my legs. The sound of bone crushing surpassed the sound of the screaming terror from me. The fourth time she hit my legs, I couldn’t feel them anymore. Everywhere around me was blood, on the bat, the floor and in my heart where I believe did not want to respond to my request of survival. I stared straight into the eyes of Henry…then I blacked out.

I woke up in the hospital. Kimberly was asleep next to me. I look down at the bed where my legs lay. I then started to cry. I was happy to see my legs still there but I knew that I couldn’t walk anymore. I knew couldn’t afford another surgery. A nurse came in with a wheel chair. " Oh, your up. Wow, you’ve been out for almost a week." She says pushing the wheel chair next to me. " What? That long?" I replied.

" Yeah. Your friend here found you in an alley behind a stack of boxes. You’re lucky that she found you. You’re legs where completely- she stopped. " It’s okay…I get the point." I turned my head to the side where Kimberly laid.

Thinking back in my past, I don’t know why God put me here, in this position where you lose hope on life. Why? First, my parents abandon my sister and I, she then leaves to a better place and leaves me in hell where there is no light shining for mercy. But Karen…Karen’s life was way worse than mine. She lived in a place beyond hell, a place where suffering from every corner repeats itself and continues till you rot in its wrath.

But her suicidal was explainable; she had no one in her small family to love her. Her mother abused her and her father was never home. Her sister was an alcoholic and a drug addict. The only person she believed actually loved her was me, but she knew I couldn’t fix her life and I couldn’t do anything about it. So she stabbed herself in the heart to make it quick and painless. Her mother didn’t realize she was dead till the next day on Karen’s bed.

Kimberly awoken, I guess from her long sleep. " Morning." I said. " Oh, your up. God I was so scared when I found you." She said while the tears rolled down her cheek. " Do you know what happened to me? All I remember was that Henry held me down and a girl was beating my legs." I said, afraid to remember what happen. " I don’t know, I just saw you there with blood all over. I’m sorry, I wish I knew." I laid back.

The next day I was back home, back in a wheel chair. I stared down at my legs, in despair, I couldn’t cry anymore. Kimberly went to school; she told a councilor what had happen to me. Henry was arrested, as well as the other girls. They transferred them to another school. I wondered, were they behind this all along? I thought my life had changed, but it’s still the same with the same cruel people in this cold world.

Every time I was at school, I didn’t feel safe. I knew that they were coming back for me one of these days.

I was strolling home as I went through the alley. I wanted to be by myself so I could think and figure things out. A car came behind me. I didn’t look back. I kept on going as I heard some one come out of the car. I turned and it was Henry. I tried to move faster but Henry caught up. He grabbed the chair and threw it to the ground. He grabbed my neck. " You thought it was over? I followed you every where and was waiting for you to be alone." He chuckled. " Now that I have you, you’re done for little girl." He carried me to the car and threw me to the back seat. I drove off somewhere but I couldn’t recognize it. " Why are you doing this to me?" I asked crying my heart out. He didn’t answer me. Right then and there I wanted to shoot myself.

He finally stopped. He took me out and started to drag me by my hair. I was screaming and he kept telling me to shut up. It seemed like an abandoned house. He went inside and held me against the wall, grabbing my face and smashing it against the wall. He felt up my shirt and was biting my neck. I cried to the point I was screaming but you couldn’t hear it. He hurt me more than ever.

I pulled his sideburns and poked him in the eye. He yelled and let go of me. I fell unto the ground and screaming help while crawling away. I grabbed me by the shirt and pulled me forward. " Bitch!" he pointed a gun to my head. I was hoping for someone to come by, no one, not a sign of a breath of care.

" You ready to die?" he asked as the gun was pointing to my face. All I did was smile, I didn’t know why but the smile was there. Maybe I was happy that I was going. With out hesitation the gun fired.

Time seemed to slow down and stopped. I heard a voice. " May…May…can you hear me?" It sounded like Kimberly. " Karen…?" " Yeah…. I’m fine. My life is simpler now. I missed you though." " I missed you too." "I’ll see you soon May, next time, we’ll be reunited." " Bye Karen." Everything blacked out.

I woke up at the end of the sandy beach. The sun was out and the wind was blowing. I had a tank-top and a floral skirt. I looked at the end of my feet. My toe was buried in the cold sand. The waves were beautiful as it threw it self on the shore ground. The sun was shining through the puffy clouds. Tears of joy slowly fell its way down my chin.