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The Letters - Chapter 09
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 Created on 4-26-08
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Gagent sat on his bed, staring intentively at his cell phone. He debated the urge to call her. Not sure if it was the right moment. However, even though his brain said 'wait a little longer', his heart was saying 'now or never'. Never was to long of a wait.
Gagent picked up the phone and quickly dialed the number. He waited impatiently, ring after ring, until finally, she answered.
"Hello?" Her voice was soft.
"Hey, its me." Gagent replied.
"Oh. Hey Gage!" She stated.
"I was wondering if we could talk?" He questioned.
"Oh I really don't fell like talking, Gagey."
"I kind of figured that. But its kind of important for me to do this. Maybe I could pick you up? We can talk on the way to school?"
"I'm not in the modd for school" Her voice got quieter, almost mute. He noticed the sudden change and grew concerned.
"Amanda, are you ok?" He questioned.
"I just miss him so much..."
"Amanda?... Amanda!" He called into the phone. He heard a slight thud and knew something wasn't right.
It was in the afternoon and the hallways of the school were crowded; filled with chatter and gossip. The typical surroundings between classes, but today, a new sound emerged as Taylor Miles rushed and pushed his way through the halls.
"Jayden?" He called out. He wasn't quite sure, but he believed he was on this floor for this period. "Jayden?" He called again. As he pushed through, he ran into Stella Morgan, a popular girl amongst the schools athletics. "Whoa, Stella, do you know where Jay is this period?"
"Mr. Tayloe's class, room 313."
"Thank you!" Taylor rushed off down the hall. He spotted Jayden with a group off his teammates. "Jayden!" Taylor began, slighty out of breath. "We gotta go and find Bela!"
"Whoa, Tay-Man, slow down." Jayden stated, "What's up?"
"Amanda. She's in the hospital. Overdose."
"All right, um... she should be in english class, Mr. Clarke."
"Why do you know her schedule?" Taylor asked.
"Go!" Jayden pushed him down the hall.
Bela was making her way to her class when a couple of boys stopped her in the hallway.
"Well, well. If it isn't Bela Jenkins." One began. His name was Bobby Price. He was kind of the designated school ass-hole. The other ne was Fred Seton, his side-kick in trianing.
"What do you want Bobby?"
"Nothing, I was just wondering what you're doing tonight?" he smiled.
"Nothing, especially not anything with you!" Bela spat.
"Oh Bela!" Bobby moaned slightly. "You hury my feelings, really. What's wrong with me?"
"Look, Bobby, I don't have time for this." She began away. He grabbed her arm.
"Bela, Bela, Bela!" He pulled her back. "I already know about your little whoring around secret. So you don't have to hide it. I like it a little dirty!"
"I'm not a whore, and even if I was, there's not enough money in the world that would make me want to fuck you!" Bela spat harshly. Bobby laughed lightly before pushing her up against the wall.
"You stupid cunt!"
"Whoa, Bobby.... Fred... What seems to be the issue here?" Taylor spoke from behind.
"Nothing, bro. Just having a chat with her."
"Why don't you back up off her before I put your head through that wall, bro!" Jayden spoke. Bobby backed up and smiled slightly.
"All right. Not a problem. Catch you later, sweet heart!" He stated as him and Fred headed off.
"Thanks guys." Bela said softly.
"We need you, do you think you can miss the rest of the day?" Taylor asked.
"I don't know. My grades are slipping major and my mom is already on my case about it. Why? What's up?" She asked.
"Amanda. She's in the hospital, she needs us." Jayden stated.
"Oh my god, of course." Bela stated as she began down the hall with them.
The hospital room was filled with that awkward, chilling, eerie feeling. The kind of feeling that was hard to get out and when you left, you could still smell it on your skin. As the room laid dormant in silence, no one moved, no one spoke. They just stood,circling her bed like vultures, but with looks of pitty instead of hunger, and watched. Watched on as a used to be close friend laid ragged and weak in the bed. Tubes and IV's extended from her like extra limbs and for a moment the sight was almost to much to bare.
Amanda rose up in bed and leaned back against her pillows and headboard. She looked at no one and spoke very softly. "Mom, can you leave us alone?" Amanda's voice was full of sadness, but most of all regret. Everyone looked over at her mother then, but she wasn't paying them no attention.
"Amanda..." She began, but Amanda already had words to say.
"Mom, please... Just give me some space." After said statement, Mrs. Collin hesitantly made her way out of the hospital room.
For the first time in an hour since they had been there, Amanda looked up and made eyes contact with each of them. The look on her face was a look of regret, sadness, and vulnerability. She pleaded 'please forgive me' with her eyes.
"I'm so sorry...." She spoke softly. Bela came over to the bed and carefully sat down beside her.
"Amanda, what happened?" She asked as she gently grabbed her hand.
"Every since Mark died, I haven't been myself. I quit cheerleading, ignored all my friends and for last couple days I've been spending all the time I can at Mark's grave. Mark and I used to be inseperable. There wasn't a moment that went by, that we weren't together. Then it just ended, so suddenly. He quit talking my calls, stopped answering email and text. I didn't know what to think. Then when he told me about his illness taking a turn for the worst, I couldn't believe it. I wanted nothing more than to just be with him the whole way. But he said he didn't want me there. Didn't want me to see him like that. To watch him die..." She paused as the tears flowed from her eyes. "So, I went my seperate way. Then I found out about the letter. My mother had hidden it from me when it came. I was so angry with her. Blamed her, said it was her fault I never got to say goodbye to him. Then at the funeral, as they were putting him in theground, I realized, it was all my fault. The only reason I didn't get to resolve things between us, was because I was afraid to see him like that. There was just so much I need to say to him, but I was too afraid to say it."
"Why'd you take all those pills?" Taylor asked softly.
"Why does anyone?" Amanda questioned, "I was so angry with myself and the pain of it all was too much to bare. I wanted the pain to go away. I wanted to be numb. I just wanted to stop feeling."
"Get rid of your pain but put the rest of us through more of it? How selfish is that?" Gageant spat through his silent tears.
"Gage...." Jayden began, but Amanda began to speak.
"No, Jay... its ok. He's right. It was selfish and I was thinking of me. For a moment, I forgot I wasn't the only one in this. Forgot about my friends."
"I think we all did a little of that over the years, babe." Taylor stated with a smile. She nodded.
"Yeah I guess so." It was quiet a moment before Mrs. Collin came back into the room.
"Sweetheart, visitng hours are over. I'm afriad they have to go now."
"We'll come by the house and see you tomorrow." Bela stated, then kissed her forehead gently. Amanda nodded.
"See you later, Babe!" Taylor stated. Jayden kissed her forehead and headed with the others towards the door. Amanda caught Gagents gaze.
"Mom, can I have just a few more moments with Gage, please?" She asked. Mrs. Collins looked at her, she was fixing to say no, but the look in Amanda's eyes was something her mother couldn't deny. Not this time.
"Ten minutes..." She stated before leaving the room. Amanda sat up more in her bed and Gagent stood there and watched her. The pain in his eyes, the heart break in his face was undescribable and Amanda knew those looks all to well. The same looks she saw when she looked in the mirror.
"Gage..." She began but suddenly Gagent began to speak.
"How could you do something like this?" He asked. She eyed him slightly. "Why didn't you just come to me?"
"I didn't think you'd want to be bothered with it..."
"Didn't think... Amanda, I reached out to you so many times these past couple days. How can you say that?"
"Gage come on. I know how you feel about me. I didn't want to put you through the agony of listening to me talk about my relationship with Mark."
"You think I cared about that?" Mark asked. "I knew how close you and Mark were. Don't you think I feel guilty for having these feelings for you. We could have worked them out together, we could have gotten through this."
"I've mad some bad mistakes, Gage. I know that. There's still some things I need to work through. If you're still willing to be here."
"Amanda, you know I'm not going anywhere." Gagent stated. Amanda nodded. "I'll come see you tomorrow." He headed for the door.
"Gage...." He turned to her, "Im sorry..."
Gagent picked up the phone and quickly dialed the number. He waited impatiently, ring after ring, until finally, she answered.
"Hello?" Her voice was soft.
"Hey, its me." Gagent replied.
"Oh. Hey Gage!" She stated.
"I was wondering if we could talk?" He questioned.
"Oh I really don't fell like talking, Gagey."
"I kind of figured that. But its kind of important for me to do this. Maybe I could pick you up? We can talk on the way to school?"
"I'm not in the modd for school" Her voice got quieter, almost mute. He noticed the sudden change and grew concerned.
"Amanda, are you ok?" He questioned.
"I just miss him so much..."
"Amanda?... Amanda!" He called into the phone. He heard a slight thud and knew something wasn't right.
It was in the afternoon and the hallways of the school were crowded; filled with chatter and gossip. The typical surroundings between classes, but today, a new sound emerged as Taylor Miles rushed and pushed his way through the halls.
"Jayden?" He called out. He wasn't quite sure, but he believed he was on this floor for this period. "Jayden?" He called again. As he pushed through, he ran into Stella Morgan, a popular girl amongst the schools athletics. "Whoa, Stella, do you know where Jay is this period?"
"Mr. Tayloe's class, room 313."
"Thank you!" Taylor rushed off down the hall. He spotted Jayden with a group off his teammates. "Jayden!" Taylor began, slighty out of breath. "We gotta go and find Bela!"
"Whoa, Tay-Man, slow down." Jayden stated, "What's up?"
"Amanda. She's in the hospital. Overdose."
"All right, um... she should be in english class, Mr. Clarke."
"Why do you know her schedule?" Taylor asked.
"Go!" Jayden pushed him down the hall.
Bela was making her way to her class when a couple of boys stopped her in the hallway.
"Well, well. If it isn't Bela Jenkins." One began. His name was Bobby Price. He was kind of the designated school ass-hole. The other ne was Fred Seton, his side-kick in trianing.
"What do you want Bobby?"
"Nothing, I was just wondering what you're doing tonight?" he smiled.
"Nothing, especially not anything with you!" Bela spat.
"Oh Bela!" Bobby moaned slightly. "You hury my feelings, really. What's wrong with me?"
"Look, Bobby, I don't have time for this." She began away. He grabbed her arm.
"Bela, Bela, Bela!" He pulled her back. "I already know about your little whoring around secret. So you don't have to hide it. I like it a little dirty!"
"I'm not a whore, and even if I was, there's not enough money in the world that would make me want to fuck you!" Bela spat harshly. Bobby laughed lightly before pushing her up against the wall.
"You stupid cunt!"
"Whoa, Bobby.... Fred... What seems to be the issue here?" Taylor spoke from behind.
"Nothing, bro. Just having a chat with her."
"Why don't you back up off her before I put your head through that wall, bro!" Jayden spoke. Bobby backed up and smiled slightly.
"All right. Not a problem. Catch you later, sweet heart!" He stated as him and Fred headed off.
"Thanks guys." Bela said softly.
"We need you, do you think you can miss the rest of the day?" Taylor asked.
"I don't know. My grades are slipping major and my mom is already on my case about it. Why? What's up?" She asked.
"Amanda. She's in the hospital, she needs us." Jayden stated.
"Oh my god, of course." Bela stated as she began down the hall with them.
The hospital room was filled with that awkward, chilling, eerie feeling. The kind of feeling that was hard to get out and when you left, you could still smell it on your skin. As the room laid dormant in silence, no one moved, no one spoke. They just stood,circling her bed like vultures, but with looks of pitty instead of hunger, and watched. Watched on as a used to be close friend laid ragged and weak in the bed. Tubes and IV's extended from her like extra limbs and for a moment the sight was almost to much to bare.
Amanda rose up in bed and leaned back against her pillows and headboard. She looked at no one and spoke very softly. "Mom, can you leave us alone?" Amanda's voice was full of sadness, but most of all regret. Everyone looked over at her mother then, but she wasn't paying them no attention.
"Amanda..." She began, but Amanda already had words to say.
"Mom, please... Just give me some space." After said statement, Mrs. Collin hesitantly made her way out of the hospital room.
For the first time in an hour since they had been there, Amanda looked up and made eyes contact with each of them. The look on her face was a look of regret, sadness, and vulnerability. She pleaded 'please forgive me' with her eyes.
"I'm so sorry...." She spoke softly. Bela came over to the bed and carefully sat down beside her.
"Amanda, what happened?" She asked as she gently grabbed her hand.
"Every since Mark died, I haven't been myself. I quit cheerleading, ignored all my friends and for last couple days I've been spending all the time I can at Mark's grave. Mark and I used to be inseperable. There wasn't a moment that went by, that we weren't together. Then it just ended, so suddenly. He quit talking my calls, stopped answering email and text. I didn't know what to think. Then when he told me about his illness taking a turn for the worst, I couldn't believe it. I wanted nothing more than to just be with him the whole way. But he said he didn't want me there. Didn't want me to see him like that. To watch him die..." She paused as the tears flowed from her eyes. "So, I went my seperate way. Then I found out about the letter. My mother had hidden it from me when it came. I was so angry with her. Blamed her, said it was her fault I never got to say goodbye to him. Then at the funeral, as they were putting him in theground, I realized, it was all my fault. The only reason I didn't get to resolve things between us, was because I was afraid to see him like that. There was just so much I need to say to him, but I was too afraid to say it."
"Why'd you take all those pills?" Taylor asked softly.
"Why does anyone?" Amanda questioned, "I was so angry with myself and the pain of it all was too much to bare. I wanted the pain to go away. I wanted to be numb. I just wanted to stop feeling."
"Get rid of your pain but put the rest of us through more of it? How selfish is that?" Gageant spat through his silent tears.
"Gage...." Jayden began, but Amanda began to speak.
"No, Jay... its ok. He's right. It was selfish and I was thinking of me. For a moment, I forgot I wasn't the only one in this. Forgot about my friends."
"I think we all did a little of that over the years, babe." Taylor stated with a smile. She nodded.
"Yeah I guess so." It was quiet a moment before Mrs. Collin came back into the room.
"Sweetheart, visitng hours are over. I'm afriad they have to go now."
"We'll come by the house and see you tomorrow." Bela stated, then kissed her forehead gently. Amanda nodded.
"See you later, Babe!" Taylor stated. Jayden kissed her forehead and headed with the others towards the door. Amanda caught Gagents gaze.
"Mom, can I have just a few more moments with Gage, please?" She asked. Mrs. Collins looked at her, she was fixing to say no, but the look in Amanda's eyes was something her mother couldn't deny. Not this time.
"Ten minutes..." She stated before leaving the room. Amanda sat up more in her bed and Gagent stood there and watched her. The pain in his eyes, the heart break in his face was undescribable and Amanda knew those looks all to well. The same looks she saw when she looked in the mirror.
"Gage..." She began but suddenly Gagent began to speak.
"How could you do something like this?" He asked. She eyed him slightly. "Why didn't you just come to me?"
"I didn't think you'd want to be bothered with it..."
"Didn't think... Amanda, I reached out to you so many times these past couple days. How can you say that?"
"Gage come on. I know how you feel about me. I didn't want to put you through the agony of listening to me talk about my relationship with Mark."
"You think I cared about that?" Mark asked. "I knew how close you and Mark were. Don't you think I feel guilty for having these feelings for you. We could have worked them out together, we could have gotten through this."
"I've mad some bad mistakes, Gage. I know that. There's still some things I need to work through. If you're still willing to be here."
"Amanda, you know I'm not going anywhere." Gagent stated. Amanda nodded. "I'll come see you tomorrow." He headed for the door.
"Gage...." He turned to her, "Im sorry..."
Comments
Please Login to post comments| On August 16th 2008 Khmerfriendz Said : | |
|
kmp! |
| On July 18th 2008 cocopuff2005 Said : | |
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God i love it |
| On June 16th 2008 lvm3932 Said : | |
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wow your an amazing writer girlie ..... |
| On May 1st 2008 cursedxisxwhat Said : | |
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kmp of course! |
| On April 29th 2008 gotmilk1994 Said : | |
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KMP!!!!!!!! awsome!!!!!! |
| On April 28th 2008 xPunkxVanityx Said : | |
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amazing. kmpp |
| On April 28th 2008 taraluvsbama06 Said : | |
|
kmp |
| On April 27th 2008 Equasha Said : | |
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woah!!! really gud plz keep me posted |
| On April 27th 2008 cocopuff2005 Said : | |
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love it |
| On April 27th 2008 LadyCha0s Said : | |
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love it. kmp |
| On April 26th 2008 KimSmallwood Said : | |
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KMP!! |
| On April 26th 2008 bittyb1 Said : | |
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awww...man!..KMP!!! |
| On April 26th 2008 melibeans10 Said : | |
|
KMP!!! |
| On April 26th 2008 PunkRockNerdxX Said : | |
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Please keep me posted! Awesome Story! |
| On April 26th 2008 emoprincessXD Said : | |
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wow that was the storie of my life right there but when i got out of the hospital none talked to me! oohh pl kmp |
| On April 26th 2008 vegxjen Said : | |
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keep me posted =] |
| On April 26th 2008 jirrith2007 Said : | |
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oh man... keep it up |
