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angeleyes62580

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I walked out the door as fast As my feet would carry me, I looked back over my shoulder at the house ; it really was not what any one there had done. I just needed a break from my life and the insanity that went with it. I loved them all with my entire heart but I could not take another minute I need to clear my thoughts and my head. After the accident the doctors said that my memory may never return or that it would return slowly. They however never told me that it could just come like a down pour; hard and fast  with a vengeance. I looked up and found myself starring at the woods and felt oddly at ease. I sat down on the embankment and pulled a dandolion and twisted it around my finger. I have to figure out who I am, I know the facts but they just dont add up, I losted  as a result of  the accident  my identity but  I now believed that I lost myself some  time before the accident even happen. I knew that if I was ever going to feel whole and complete again, I had to some how make sense of it all.  Tossing the now deformed dandolion I laid back in the cushion of the grass and the comfort of the blue  skies and closed  me eyes I had to go back in time. I knew it was not going to be easy but I knew it some thing I had to do.

My memory was like a jig saw puzzle , but  half  of pieces are blank and the other half are so distorted you can't  see the  picture. It was Dr  Bordon that said some times the mind will block images that it believes is to much for one to handle. I feared what was in my life that could be so bad that my own mind wanted to keep it locked away even from myself the very same person it once happen too. It had been a year since that fated night that stripped away my life and memory.  I remember little of that night but as I have been told. It was the night before Thanksgiving and I decided to make a late
night run into  town for some last minute items for dinner. I had made it to the Market and shopped for my items and was on the way home when I decided to stop to grab some video for the family.  I had not made it out of my car when my cell phone had rang, and the number that they later found on the caller Id indentify my former Spouse Seth Donner. We  apparently had a disagreement over whom our daughter would be spending the day with. It's believe that  the call was terminated and I went in to the store to find the video. There was three more calls logged on to the Caller ID from Seth and the store clerk whom waited on me, In her statement  had said that the caller seemed angry as she could hear him screaming and cursing and that I appeared visable upset by the caller. I walked back out to the car and at that point made a call home to my husband  Allen.

The call between Allen and I lasted about ten minutes or so,  once hanging up I pulled out of the parking lot and made the turn onto blacksmith road  that would take me that back way home.  The car it seems was over heating and I had pulled off the road to let it cool down and it would not start back up. It's not really clear what I had been thinking but I could only  assumed that since it was a nice night out, I had decided to walk the mile and half up the road to the Gas and Go station and I am guess from what Allen told me was that I had tried to call back home but he had been in the shower and did not hear the phone ring.  The rest of the night was  speculation as to the events, I was found a half a mile from the car unconscious , broken ribs and bleeding very profusely by a tractor trailer driver that had been finishing his route  and heading home for the night. He had seen the car broken down and had been on the look out for any one walking when he seen Seth running from the spot that I was located at. The emergency personnel responded to the scene and I was taken to the trama unit at our local hospital for treatment.

The result  of that fated night was that I had a massive brian injury that landed me in a coma for three weeks and once the swelling subsided and I regained conscious  I had a room full of people all talking at me, and not one clue to who any one was. At Seth's trial  I was  pretty much useless when it came to reaccounting the night of the attack, as I did
not  remember him let alone the attack , so I listen as every one else spoken for me, It was the most frustrating thing  to see some one that had stolen every thing from you, and not being able to help put him away.  The jury came back and found him gulity and he was sentence to five years in a state prision. My lawyer told him that he would be out in three years max. I really did not feel like justice was served but what could I do, when I did not even know who I was.

I opened my eyes looking at the blue sky, anger consumed me, " Why can you tell me that?" I screamed  up at the heavens " Who the hell am I ". I sat up and grab a handful of grass and and just what is there that it worse then this  that I should not remember?  How am I surpose to be a family and love those babies when I can not even tell you
when the each were born. I  can not go back there and face another empty day, I had to know who I was and what happen in my life. Until then I had to get away from  all of this and right now that meant them too.

I jumped up and headed back down the road to the house and slipped inside, the kids were emersed in a television program and Allen was fast asleep on the sofa. I moved quickly  though the house and grabbed my overnight bag for emergencies and my purse and heading out the door pulling the keys of the hook as I went. Once outside I let out
a deep breath as I unlocked the car door, looking back up at the house I could feel my heart breaking for them, Okay I thought just a day or so and I'll be back they will be alright for that long. I got into the car and drove away without  even another thought. I was not sure where I was going as I turned on the highway that would take me out of town but I knew I need to put some distance in between me and this town.

Part two coming soon!!