The blood trickled from the scrapes on my knees; every bone in my body ached as I got up from the pavement and made my way running down Main Street. Every light on the road shone brightly in the blinding day light. I could barely see. The sun and stars and every source of light known to man was a light. The lights on the motionless cars were on, the cell phone screens of the frozen teenagers on the street corner were brightly lighting their laughing faces. The reflection from the sun was brightly being reflected off the tall sky scrapers. Darkness had disappeared from my life. I could only see light. I couldn’t see color or shades. Every ounce of darkness had disappeared from this world in a matter of seconds. Drained. Obsolete. This was the world I lived in, alone. I am Lehrya and I challenged god.
I have always been one to question my faith, I never went to church, rarely ever prayed, and I always questioned weather god was real. I grew up with my mom who was very religious growing up and then my dad who has never been to church in his life. I was raised to believe in god and to not believe in god. Not only was it my family who influenced my religious believes and disbelieves but my friends and neighbors also. With a Jewish boyfriend. Muslim best friend. And various atheist by standers. I have been confused of my own being ever since I was a little girl. Wanting so bad to believe that a beautiful place called heaven existed, but always ending up not believing in some big dude in the sky who created the world. So I made it my mission to find out the truth. I’ve read almost every religious text known to man kind. I’ve traveled the world searching for answers to what is real and what is fake. I thought I had it all figured out. I thought that god was just a fake being made up by the government to inflict fear on a community. Telling everyone that if they disobey “gods” law they would go to hell until the end of time. Boy was I wrong.
I have seen hell and heaven. I have challenged god, and I have seen and done what most people would call the impossible. I am Lehrya and this is my story.