A.R.D chapter one the compition between love and hate

A-R-D  THE TEAM THAT CAN'T BE BEAT, THE GIRLS WITH ALL THE TALENT, SO BOW DOWN TO OUR FEET!!!! 

Louder I kept telling myself, louder.   THis is the biggest cheer compition all year and we we're going to win.  We had too win, If we didn't we would be complete failures, not to mention the laughing stocks of every school in the district.  We would be losers and we don't lose.  1-2 and 3-4 and 5-6 and 7-clean 8 GO! 1-.  Every move, every stunt had to be perfect.  Every girl had to go up flawless.   Set-2 and 3 go up 5 bounce 7-8. 

Everything would be perfect if I just, If I just what?  Didn't think about Ryan?  Think about the last few months?  How wonderful, how horribal, how magical,how confusing?  Oh shit!  No, stop thinking about him.  You need to think about cheer that's it. nothing else.    Let's go!  2 and 3 and 4 and 5 set 1 and 2 and hold 3-4-5 pop 6-7 clean 8. 

Oh god I wish he was here.  Here watching me cheer.  Here with me.  Not Ginger or Grace or who ever he was with this week.  But me.  Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!  Clean 7-8. "BOOM!  EAGLES!"  hold 1-2-3-4-5.  and let it all out.  I scream and scream "go eagles" as loud as I can as I walk off the mat, a Huge ass smile on my face, glued to my face.  The crowed is cheering.  That's a good sign,  I guess. 

I walk around the Highschool looking for my parents or should I say Ryan.  Why do I look for him?  I know he's not going to be here.  I know he is not going to magically be there for me because I want him to be.  Why should an 18 year old man care about a 13 year old little girl?  Why should he?  Because he "loves" me.  Well he said he loved me.  He said he would always love me, but I don't know, how could you love some one who is always lying to you? 

I run to the locker room where all my clothes are and start to take off my uniform.  The green shirt takes some time to take off because I've gained some weight since christmas, the present Ryan got me, and well you really can't call it a present because, it was a kid. it was two kids actually.  Two unborn kids, that don't even belong to me. 

I start to bawl as I slide to the floor hugging my dark green top in my hands.  How could he do that to me?  How could he say he loves me and then go off and fuck two girls he didn't even know?  Or well he knew one of them but he didn't know the other one.  Lora i think her name was.  14. A year older then me.  Pregnant and used.  Used by Ryan, MY Ryan.  My love, My prince, My only one.  How can he just go off when we have a fight and knock some pour girl up?  How could he come back to me and tell me he did it because he was sad and drunk and missed me?  How could he do this to me?  How could he- how could I take him back?  How could I trust him again after that?  and now, now what just pretend I don't know what he's doing?  Pretend I don't care?  Lie to him again?  No.  That's what got me in this mess in the first place, Lying to him. 

He cares about me so much, Oh god I love him.  OH FUCK.  What the hell is wrong with me?  If he cared about me he would be here with me not-not with me.  Oh but I know he cares about me and I know he loves me.  I know he want's to have me one day when I am "legal".  He said he didn't know lora was underage, he said he thought she was older, but that shouldn't even matter, that shouldn't be, this shouldn't be this way. 

I slam my head against the concret wall seperating the lockers from the showers.  It didn't hurt.  Well not alot.  Okay alot.  More tears run down my face as I hear a loud noise coming from the GYM.  Through the walls I could hear Mrs.Silva the principle to the highschool and the head cheerleading coach for the regional varsity squad start to announce the trophy placing.  "third place goes to,"  she pauses for dramatic effect and then countinues after a few nail bitting seconds.  "Pembroke Middle

School!"

ZEBRAS!  hehe okay so their not really the zebras but that's what I call them,  the PMS zebras because of the PMSing cheerleaders with the zebra stripped bloomers.  And the crowed goes wild!!!!!! woot toot toot!!! 

 Once the crowad quiets down after about a half a second Mrs. Silva starts to speak again.  "Second place goes too," and she pauses again this time for a little bit longer.  "Merrimack middle school!"  And the crowed goes crazy.  Why?  becuase they were our biggest rivals and guess who got first....... "and first place goes to Armand R. Middle school!!!!!"  Oh I could just imagine all my teammates jumping around holding up the huge purple and green trophy with the 3 person stunt group on it.  Of course the trouphy has no fronts on it.  No, because a front shows weakness a front shows, shows what?  Winners that's what!  But why do I feel like such a loser?