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alday4

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the text was short but sweet.

"For all the flowers that are in bloom
none are as beautiful as you
for all the stars up in the sky
nothing but you could shine so bright
for all the things that I have felt
all the bad cards I've been delt
you in my life makes all things well......I love you"

At first I didn't know what to think.  Did he mean to send that to me?  Was it really him sending it to me?  Did he write this, something so beautiful it brought tears to my eyes?  I couldn't grasp it, I didn't understand.  Does he feel the same way I do?  What if he Does?  What if he doesn't?  It was so over wellming, I forgot to respond to him  and broke down in tears of confusion on my kitchen floor.  All these feelings just of everything, love, pressure, guilt, the last two I really don't know why I felt them but I did, they were just there, a heaviness on my shoulders that still hasn't subsided.  As I lay on my kitchen floor bawling my eyes out I notice how dirty the floors are, they are disgusting really, they wouldn't be like that if my Dad was still alive.  He would have everything clean, not a single spec of dirt.  He cleaned all the time but you never really noticed him cleaning, he did it secretly.  Oh god I miss him, he died about 2 and a half years ago I was just about to turn 15.  You know how people always die in a drunk driving accident and it always seems to be the person who wasn't drinking who ends up getting hurt or dying?  Yea well for my dad he was the drunk driver, and he died.  The other person only had a few bruises and a broken arm.  It's all my fault really I knew my dad had been drinking when I left with John, my boyfriend at the time to go to cheerleading practice.  Yea, my boyfriend was a cheerleader, yea I know haha, but seriously if it wasn't for me leaving with out a ride home from practice this would have never happened.  I should have just stayed home,  should have never gone to practice, where john had to leave from early to go to a doctors appointment, I should have just stayed with my dad.  New tears form in my eyes at the remberance that my dad's death is all my fault, a puddle begins to form on the dirty floors and rough smell makes me want to puke.  All these things that happened are all my fault, ALL MY FAULT.

After about ten or fifteen minutes my crying cools down enough for me to get up off the dirty floor and look at my self in the reflection off the window above my sink.  Drained.  Ugly.  and in love.  That's all I saw.  I didn't see a face.  No lips.  No eyes. No skin. No nose.  Just these three words written in the air where me face should be, drained, ugly, love, drained, ugly, love.  I wanted to scream.  I wanted to forget about the world and just give up I wanted to,  answer my phone, because the ringing is getting annoying.

"Hello ange did you get my text?"

"ummm yea, it was very sweet." My tears starting up again with the sound of his voice.

"Are you crying?"

"umm yea just hurt my foot is all."

"oh so did you like my poem?"

I think back about what the poem had said rembering every line, every word.

"you love me?"

"well ummm I don't know, I mean yea I think so, I just I umm I am sorry, I just thought that maybe you might like me too I didn't mean to scare you, or-"

"Justin I love you too."

"really!?! I mean I just thought that well since you don't know me I thought you might just-"

"I thought you thought the same thing that's why I was afraid to tell you."

"so you really do love me too?"

"I think so."

"I-" 

I hear a door open and close vilolently on the other end of the phone and heavy footsteps coming across a wood floor.

"I have to go I'll talk to you later, my love." Justin rushingly says this as his step-dad yells from another room "you rotten son-of-a-no-good-slut get your ass over here before I kill you, you cock sucker" and the line goes dead. 

How could someone be so fucking mean, how could he treat Justin like this?

ALRIGHT I DON'T REMBER IF i MENTIONED MY DAD YET, IF HE'S ALIVE OR NOT SO IF i TOLD YOU HE WAS ALIVE TELL ME SO i CAN RE-WRITE THIS CHAPTER OTHERWISE TELL ME IF YOU LIKE IT