The Beginning

so this is the story of a guy, the guy that made this profile, lets say so that now he has an identity and u can give a face to if you like. funny how things go for this guy, he simply took a journey that would change his life pretty much forver, a journey to the desert. But even though the story is about now and not then, much of it has its roots based on what happened. what happened before the journey and what happened during the journey. Before the desert there was obsession and a loss of feeling of self and security. he was nobody and everybody, followed the willingless herd of sheep and their sheperd, or otherwise known media, tv, radio, pop culture, and to some extent maybe myspace. this story is also about indesiscion and inability to take the next step. this is a pretty good intro, but the fact of it is even though he is now content with his self being and doesnt care about anything anymore, he only says he doesnt care anymore so he can get rid of the pressure and pain of the social expectancy. now he wears his sweatshirt, his jeans, his white t, and maybe some some uncleaned shoes, with uncombed hair. he truly wants someone to care, so that then he can care. he is trapped between the stress and pain of both caring and not caring. but what can he do, since he is trapped in a cycle and endless circle of social hatred and neccesity. no one cares because he doesnt care, and if cares, no one will care, and therefore it will have been a waste of energy to care. there have been some women in his life,and when i say this this does not mean he was in their life, for he has always been an observer, and has scarred himself from the previously named quality of "un-action" he is too scared of rejection, and he knows that if he doesnt care then there will be no rejectio, and if there is sometype of rejection, it will not hurt him. the funny thing is that these wome, were really merely girls, that were barely maturing into their hips and breasts, hardly would they be able to comprehend this... well now it would just be simply arogant to say that he was mature at all, but he was in his time of shaping and fragile. Funny since he is so strong now that it would only take a pebble from the bottom of his nicely polished shoes to twist and break and bring to a fall this mighty being. if you have read this far, then i congratulate you, since u have dwelled into something that has no end and is ever changing, but guess what you might have a chance to direct the tsunami into a place that will benefiet from a fresh start and let all the steam flow out gently so that this weak being can start from scratch. so anyways back to it, he is secure about himself, he has some very good attributes, and well some bad ones as well but what bugs him the most right now is that he cant seem to attract attention from a female. and although he believes that he will eventually find one, it frustrates him that he is open, available, willing, he just wants to share everything with someone who will care along with him