Mistakes not forgiven.[3]

I still sat there, on my floor reading the dates on the pennies and the letter I had gotten in the 4^th grade from my teacher saying that I should be a teacher, I should go to college and I should be able to live my own dreams. I stared at the wrinkled paper and realized that there where stains from tears all over the paper. I looked under the crack of my door. No shadows. Good. Less a chance to get mobbed by an evil little boy or hurt by an overly drugged man. I stammered to myself that I couldn’t leave my room, I didn’t want a confrontation with my dad, the last one caused me sooooo much pain you wouldn’t believe it. He had practically thrown the coffee table at me and screamed my name through out the street saying I was the worst daughter ever. I cried my self to sleep that night, I knew I had finally lost my dad…I knew now that I could never get him back. My thoughts raced and I finally decided that I would try to get something in my stomach before 9 so I could actually get some sleep. I slowly opened my door which now had little stickers with sickly remarks on it for when the boys got mad. I searched the hallway and reached for the wall. It looked safe but that what it always seemed like, I stared my way through the hall to where I reached the kitchen, I looked at the food left all over the counter and my mouth watered and I sat, listening for noises and I started to eat. Then out of nowhere a hand grabbed my shoulder, roughly pulling me onto the floor and a foot hit my stomach, I gasped for air. A face was looking down on me, I could tell it was my dad because of the grimy yellow teeth and the 5 o’clock shadow. He smiled at me and whispered words I could not hear. He held out his hand and I thought, maybe he was trying to make things better, or maybe he was going to hurt me, so instead I got up by myself, he then grabbed my shouldered and turned me and pushed me onto the smelly couch where I laid and wondered what had just taken place. He then pushed me to sit up. And so I did. He smiled at me and then started to tell me what he needed me to do in 25 minutes or I would be “punished”. I stared in horror at what he was saying.