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TyffaniKnott

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“Greg!” I said. “Nice of you to actually appear in plain sight, for a minute there I thought you might have went home!”  

He just stood there staring out me with sympathetic eyes like he was just dying inside from guilt.  “Babe, we really have to talk. It’s about us.” He stated. “I just don’t think we should’ve done what we did last night, and I’m sorry that I led you to believe that I wanted to, which I did, but I have feelings for someone else. It has absolutely nothing to do with you.”  

“Then what the fuck does it have to do with Greg? Be a man and face me! If it has nothing to do with me then what is it?” I screamed. 

“It’s not you it’s me. I have some me work to do, and I’m not sure what I’m feeling right now. I’m sorry Tyff but we can’t be together, I don’t want to hurt you.” And with that being said, a tear trickled down his cheek.  I just couldn’t understand what was going on. “It must be some other girl or something?” I thought. “That’s the only thing it could be, right?” 

“Tyff I’m just going to come out and say it!” he said while gritting his teeth. He grabbed me by my hand and pulled me close to him, squeezing my waist, he gently gave me a soft kiss on the lips.  “You’re what I’ve always wanted, you’re smart, beautiful, and my best friend, but……….. I like Willie better.” He whimpered.  I swear it felt like my jaw dropped to the floor. I was absolutely speechless. 

“So let me get this straight, you’ve always wanted me but you like someone else better, so how can I be what you’ve always wanted?” I asked confused. 

“Well, I guess I can say, you’re the "GIRL" version of what I want, but I like Willie better… does that help you understand what I’m trying to indirectly say?” He pondered. 

“Greg! You’ve got to be fuckin’ kidding me right? I’m the girl version of what you want but you like Willie better? You would pick a guy over me? Wow….Greg, I never thought this day would come… you really know how to kill a girl!” I pouted. 

I ran down the hallway crying hysterically. I ran out the Hampton Inn’s double doors and outside for a walk, just to breathe. I couldn’t believe he was gay. I should’ve seen it coming, I mean the boy can shop, dress and I can talk about any female issue with him and he’s deeply into the conversation, not in the least grossed out. I have waited relentlessly for him to tell me he loved me and when he does I find out that it’s just in a friendly way.

“How fucking pathetic am I?” I yelled out. It was a crisp evening and I just wanted to be by myself. I know talking to myself is slightly much, but I had no one to turn to on this. No one to run to share my feelings with and I know I couldn’t trust the bitches upstairs; they were the ones telling everyone at school that I had done “something” with Greg already without even asking me what it was.  

I was all alone in my own world, when the one true person who had feelings for me walked up behind me, sweeping me off of my feet kissed me and I’ll never forget the feeling that I had. I’ll never forget my “first time” because it was with him. I’ll never forget the one who made me fall in love with him by one simple kiss.