One Big Bird & Two Little Bunnies

 The following is an excerpt from one of my myspace blogs.  My friends seemed to like it so I figured you may too... It's kinda zaney:

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Obviously there is not too much going on in my life right now if you couldn't tell from my previous blogs.  Therefore, I must make something up.

So I ran into my childhood friend Brad Pitt yesterday and he's like "Tony Howe from Belding, Michigan (48809) you should come over to me and Angelina's today for (some food I've never heard of and can never spell)." And I was all like "FER SHER!" 
So, I hopped in my Bentley and cruised 205 MPH over to Hollywood and picked up two hot playboy models just sitting on the side of a South Dakota highway with a sign that said "Waiting for Tony Howe from Belding, Michigan (48809)."  They were Miss October and Miss November 2006 and they were all chanting "Tony is the best...way better than Heff!" I just say there with a big smile on my face driving along in warm sun while nodding my head saying "Thaaaat's right bitches...thaaaats right."
So I got to Hollywood and who was there to greet me?  None other than Brad and Angelina...and their 139 adopted children from oversees (rimshot).  And their kids were all like praising me in about 32 different languages.  I wasn't sure why, but I figured it was either because I drove a Bentley or because they were just astounded at the aura I presented (my money is on the Bentley though).
So yeah we sat down at a 300 foot long table for dinner which consisted of some leafy susbtance I'm guessing was salad (but some superior form of God's veggies because I was blinded by the sight of it).  But I'd be dammed if I wasn't gonna eat it anyway!
The rich live well...enough so that I ate a 23 1/3 course meal.  The main entre' was Stuffed Turkey...but not just any Turkey, that's right...it was a turkey that weighed 241 pounds, which fed every little adopted childs mouth and made them go "Mmm, this is better than sticks and mud for dinner." "Touche'" the adopted french child said.

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So my trip to see my LIFE-LONG friend, Brad Pitt ended with a few hugs and kiss on the cheek from Angelina (my bruised face is still recovering *rimshot again*) as October, November and myself continue eastward toward home. 
We drove off into the night and were never found again... until the chemicals from the turkey made me tired and I fell asleep and sweerved to hit the biggest adult video store on the west side of the Mississippi.  I crashed straight through it, but I suddenly had one more woman in my car...she had puffy hair and puffy skin almost like a blow-up doll...and the bitch never shut her mouth. *final rimshot... just because*

     -Anthony Howe