Sometimes you just have to let go chapter 1

"I WNAT TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF, YOU, JESSE, AND EVERYONE ELSE IN THIS FUCKING SCHOOL!!!!!"

"why, i...i dont understand. WHat happened, you know me, you can tell me!"

"AS IF YOU DONT FUCKING KNNOW, YOU BACKSTABBING WHORE!"

my mind is racing, where did this come from? one day all is fine and the next, THIS? what happened? he'd always been alittle moody and attached, but never this.

"I WILL KILL YOU< YOU FUCKING BITCH, AND YOUR LITTLE FUCK BUDDY"

"we're not like that RIchard, and you know it! is that what this is all about? Jesse?"

suddenly Richard backhanded me and as i fell to the floor through the corner of my eye i saw himm pull out a gun, put it to his head and pull the trigger

"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" i woke up screaming and crying, wet with sweat i pulled out my phone and dialed Nick's number

"OMG what? it is 4 in the morning!" Nick's good but he hates it when you wake him up.

"it happened again, the nightmare im so scared Nick. I can't stop, i relive the moment and sometimes the story changes" i cryed into my phone. 

"Summer, its okay... you know its ok. its been 6 monthes. He's been in thearapy, he would never hurt you, you know why?"

**sniffle**   "yes."

"because he knows that ME, Jesse, Rachel, Maggie, and everyone else will kill him because we LOVE you.''

"i know Nick, but it doesn't helpp the nightmares"

"i know, i know."

"I'm sorry Nick, i'll let you go back to bed...... i just needed Someone." i always feel bad about calling him like this

"its ok. if you need me call me, go to sleep, ill guard your dreams....... and NO drinking, smoking or anything else. i want you to stop, got it"

oh Nick, if only you knew how often i really do those things

"i'm trying, you know im trying. But sometimes they are like my best friends, they help me"

"just try ok? love you,..... night. Dream sweet."

"Nigh, dream sweat"

**clic**

i wish everything was different. i wish last year had never happened. i try SOO hard to forget it. but it never works. 

i reach under my matress and grab the bottle of Vodka i hide, and take a large swig, then another, then another.  i close my eyes and ollapse into a world of painfree darkness.