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The endless nightmares |
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Should this be the end?
Short
 Created on 12-9-07
 Views(103)
 Story Rating G
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Breathe, and remember I’m loved. I’m told that’s all I need to do to prove that I’m alive. But no that’s not working. Well it might if I actually was loved. I know there are people who think they know me, who say there their for me, but they can’t be, because no one knows me, knows how I truly feel on the inside, behind my happy smiling exterior, all the things I’ve done, the things I’ve seen, they would all hate me. I hate this feeling of not knowing what to do, just wanting to give up, and scream until I can’t feel the pain anymore. But where I am I can’t, and I can’t take this anymore. I'm sick of this life, just sick of it. I’m so fucking screwed in the mind, when I read, see, or hear something that’s happy I just can’t hold back my tears. I just keep thinking why the hell cant that be me? Why the hell can’t the things I read and write be real? Why can’t I be loved like the girl over their being hugged by her boyfriend? Why cant I be like the couple on the T.V. who loved each other so much that even when their lives were ending they stayed together and died together, why can’t I be loved like that? I want o escape to my dreams; even my nightmares would be better. I hate this feeling of knowing that for so long I haven’t be loved, that the only ones I can find that do love me are people in my dreams. I seriously cant find the strength to go on for much longer. I can feel it inside of me, the little strings holding my heart together are being cut, unwound, and slowly undone, I can feel the little steaks being pounded into it slowly making it bleed. I’m on the brink; I think the next thing might be just enough to sever my last string. What should I do? What can I do? I want to call out for help just cry to someone I love, and whom I know loves me back. But that only happens in my dreams, and in stories. I want to stay in my dreams forever, just sleep and sleep and feel that fake happiness, because it’s better than living with no happiness at all. This could be my suicide note, it could be a cry for help, or it could be a simple letter saying I’m hear and waiting for you, all I need you to do is for you to tell me your here that I don’t have to fall into an endless dream. I just need to face facts life is one long story and I’m the girl who ends up killing herself from the all the hurt, and no one will care once she’s gone, someone says her name and no one knows who their talking about. I’m the girl who dies the day before she’s told she really is loved. The girl who’s deciding if she should give up now or wait just one more day.
Comments
Please Login to post comments| On December 28th 2007 xxhXcxx221 Said : | |
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This is so sad. but i know what its like to want that guy or someone to love you. But i can guarantee you will find your someone. You just have to wait. =[ Good luck. |
| On December 9th 2007 101091 Said : | |
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I felt like I was reading the things I've thought before. Just hang in there. I know it seems like there's nothing worth living for but there really is. People do love you. You did a great job with this. I loved reading it. I agree with ha7, just wait one more day, each day, just say one more day. If that gets to be to diffcult then just wait one more second. Every second just think one more second. |
| On December 9th 2007 ha7 Said : | |
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I wish so much that I were there when you wrote this and then I could give you a big hug! It was sad and oh so true. It is life. wait one more day, every day wait one more day! |
| On December 9th 2007 wiccan210queen Said : | |
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OMG SAD BUT I FREAKIN FELL UR PAIN GURL
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| On December 9th 2007 alienz13 Said : | |
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sad |
| On December 9th 2007 deathbyhappine Said : | |
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aww so sad
i'll be the girl who tries to convince you theres a reason to live |
