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SoraDemon

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            I feel frightened, even before I make the first cut, before I swallow the first pill. I’ve done it so many times before I know it won’t be bad; yet I still feel this uneasy feeling with in me. I start with the knife the jagged edges meant to rip apart the meat of animals I now use on my own flesh, and watch as it slowly rips my skin in two, the crimson fluid slowly seeps slowly out of the cut I feel relived. I place the blade once again to my wrist, and make another incision into my arms. I trace over the cuts many times, making them deeper and deeper. Their starting to sting, why? Oh the bloods coming out even faster. I think I went to deep. I quickly swallow the pills. Maybe they will make the bleeding stop make the pain recede. I place three into my mouth at first. Why does it still hurt? I place two more into myself. I have to choke them down they don’t want to go. The bleedings starting to stop, I want it to stop now, I don’t want to wait. I swallow three more, gagging on the last one but I refuse it to come out I just swallow it back down. I feel somewhat better light. This feeling doesn’t last long I’m starting to feel cold, it’s probably just because I’m outside. Why do my legs feel so shaky, it’s probably just the weight of my backpack. Why does my chest feel like its going to explode? Why can’t I think of an answer? I open the doors to the school and go to our table. I sit their and begin to shake. Why do I feel so horrible? Those pills were supposed to rid me of my pain. I’m scared I’m only hurting more with each passing minuet. I want it to stop. Some one walks over asks me what’s wrong I tell them they try to pull me up I refuse I don’t want him to find out what I’m doing, I don’t want to be punished, I can’t go back home. No just quit touching me. I stager out the door I only get colder. I lay down I know I shouldn’t close my eyes but I want to so badly. I just want to dream away the pain. My friend finds me lying their tells me to get up and come to class I follow her walking in a daze. I sit hear now retelling this horrible experience my chest still throbs I’m still shaking I’m still scarred. People ask if I’m ok I tell them I’m fine. I’m not fine I want to die. Please take this pain away I’m so scared. Some one please help.