Brothers Abyss

Out of no where, my life crashed before my eyes. I was living the best year of my life; so I thought. 7^th grade is supposed to be the year I look back on and think “WOW! What a year. That was the best year of my life. Everything went amazing. PERFECT!” But now the only thing I’m going to look back and think is “Ugh. 7^th grade equals the worst year of my life. How did I get through it?” Well, that is, if I even get through this year. I was in this moment of my life when I thought that I would die to come back to this year. Now all the dieing I want to do, is now. To get out of this year. I was in love. Had a boyfriend that I had been dating for a month and everything was going perfect. My friends were closer to me then ever, so I thought. My social this year sky rocketed dramatically. Its just one of those years, you have to take a million pictures. But you told me the news and it fell apart.

SMASH! BAM! KAPOW! Whatever you want to call it, or sound you want to make, my world came crushing down before my eyes. I would wake up, the sun licking its way through my curtains, I would open my eyes and my world would be a huge junk yard that I am lost in. I would want to roll over and go straight back to bed. Always bright and happy, laughing and smiling at everything. Now all I can do is cry my eyes out. I always wear big baggy sweaters now, and want to hide behind every corner I see. Trying to hide my feelings. Putting up a wall so no one could see underneath what I was feeling. But only the ones that cared could see what was going on.

I cried, cried some more, and lets just say CRIED “mega-ness” and a half. I was in denial for a mad minute. You were the kind of person that you would never have guessed would do that to themselves. I began to worry about you. Would I lose you as a friend? I mean, I didn’t know you that well, but I still cared.

Pretty much, life changed for me. And it would change for good. I hadn’t slept in 4 days, eaten in 3 days, and stopped crying in, well, I lost track. Everything I saw reminded me of you. Anything I thought I thought of you. “What are you doing? Are you doing it again? Why aren’t you replying to my text messages? Are you breathing, do you have a pulse?” Its big deal. But for now all I can do is my best. Talking to you, keeping your mind off of the subject, and making you smile. Until further notice of anything worse, this is all I can do.

Now that this has happened, we are closer then ever. Never would have expected to be this close, but I’m not complaining. I just wanted to say that if this never happened, we would never have been this close. I love you and I care about you. Just letting you know, that you made a memory, not so pretty. But always now that in the feature, in my stories of 7^th grade, you will ALWAYS be mentioned. I love you bubba, forever.