Jenny

 

          She leaned up against the kitchen counter drinking a glass of hard water. She didn’t have much on. The only thing covering up her flawless body was a white robe and her long blonde hair that men would try to tangle their fingers in. She was thinking about leaving that night to go home again like every other night. It was like a daily routine. A drunken man would come into the tavern where she had worked on Friday nights and end up convincing her to come to his place while his wife was gone. They would make complete nonsense love that didn’t mean much but just gave Jenny the feeling of being loved. She walked out of the kitchen and into the married man’s bedroom and slipped on her black panties and the rest of her smoke smelling clothes and got in her car and drove home. She always seemed to listen to sappy country love songs every night after nonsense sex because she knew, she would die alone.

                                                                     

          She woke up to a sudden thud in the kitchen after seeing not a dream but a memory. It’s not like she had really cared if something or someone was in her house but curiosity got the best of her.

          “Jennaay, why did you leave me?” Some drunken man with a strong accent that sounded like he was from Tennessee said tapping on her window. She kept the kitchen light off so he wouldn’t know that she could hear him. “Jenny! I said I loved you!” She thought to herself thinking, ‘So did every other man that I have made love to. Well, most of them anyway’ She crawled over to the front door and locked it which was very odd for her since she never was worried about being secure in her own house knowing that there was nothing special inside it anyway and in her opinion, that included herself.

 

 

6 Years Earlier

 

          Jenny was never really like this before. She used to be full of excitement and always had a smile on her face. Throughout middle school and freshman year, she grew up with a big group of girls. There were twelve of them. Jenny grew up in a small little town in New Hampshire where everyone and their cousin knew each other. The whole school looked at their clique as to be the good ones and had their priorities straight. They looked at these girls like all of them were going to college and they would all get married have children in their big houses. The cliché wasn’t even close to what they really were. When someone would leave the small little round table at lunch, immediately the rest of the eleven would scoot their chairs in a little closer and talk bad about either something stupid they just did or what they were wearing that day. As soon as they would come back to the table, they would all scoot back and act like nothing happened. It took awhile for Jenny to figure out why she even bothered being with them. She thought long and hard about it all and realized that the only reason they all managed to stay together was because they had no other group to go to.

          I can do this. I can do this. It’s not like I’m lying. I’m telling the truth. They need to hear this. Jenny thought as she started typing away on a MySpace bulletin. I can’t take this anymore. The gossip, the untrue feelings and most of all, the girls. It’s not like they will even read it. I just want to get this all out.

 

To My “Friends”--

 

Should I really be doing this? Yes. Keep typing.

 

To My "Friends"--

So throughout the years, I thought all of us acted real. That we acted like we didn't care what other think. Today, that totally changed how I think about all of you. I mean, I never noticed this before but when you can't answer someone's question, you come to me and ask.

 

Just like Kaity. She does that a lot. Jenny, Taylor just asked me if I wanted to go shopping with her? Should I go or do we have other things planned?

 

I mean, what do you need my opinion for? They’re not asking me, they're asking you
yes, believe it or not, you should be your own person.
high school shouldn't make you into a robot.

If we were, you’d say ELLO MOTO!

 

Very few of you speak your mind and stand up for things. Very few of you don’t whisper behind people's backs. I mean, thanks a lot you jerks.

 

We all did that a lot. It happened especially at parties where certain of them weren’t invited on purpose. If we talked about something like someone’s outfit, it was usually unanimous. No one ever disagreed. Steph did that a lot. She’d act like your friend and then really, she didn’t like you. She was just trying to be nice.

 

This bulletin isn't even pointed to just one of you.
 It’s pointed to about 9/11 of you. It'd be nice if you would stop it.

 

Everyone but Courtney and Chey. They’re my true friends.

 

The fact that you guys think some people are better than others at things. Just because they are, doesn't mean you have to point it out. That’s annoying too.

 

Nikki did that to you a lot. She would only practice with certain people during sport practices because she wanted to benefit herself. It made herself look better in front of the coach. She could play more.

 

Some of you won't even walk out of the house if your hair is out of place.


BOOHOO. Suck it up. Your hair doesn't have to be straightened everyday by the way.

 

Sen did that a lot. When we’d be off to go to a party, we’d be waiting for her in the bathroom because she’d be doing last finishing touches on her hair.

 

That’s pathetic. If you already have a boyfriend, what do you need to impress? You already have him.
 Even if you don't, you shouldn't have to impress anyone! Y'all are pathetic and need to straighten out your priorities. Good-bye Friends.

 

That goes to Seneca. She changed since Florida. She ditched us in Florida for her lovely boyfriend, Cameron. Nikki pushed her into it. I mean, me and her, we were pretty close but never like *BFF’s* or anything. Click post bulletin. Click it. Click it.

 

CLICK. BULLETIN POSTED. IT WILL TAKE UP TO A HOUR TO BE POSTED. PLEASE BE PATIENT.

 

There. It’s all out. Are you happy, heart? Maybe this will help our friends. I mean, after all, the truth is the truth. It has to get out.

 

 

            Jenny clenched her biology textbook to her locker after Biology class because band class was next which meant, it was social hour. The 12 usually would sit in a circle, with an exception of the boyfriends. That was also for lunch also. Jenny, Courtney and Cheyenne would walk together to band. If you didn’t walk together it was like you were “uncool” and there was a stamp on your forehead saying, “She’s lonely.”

          “Jenny, did you get that message from my sister about that bulletin you posted last night?” Courtney said to add in some sort of conversation while walking to band.

          “What? What bulletin? Can I know?” Chey asked like she always did. She always wanted to know what other people were talking about and always wanted to be included.

          “She read it,” I asked in shocking amazement and started to blush a little and totally ignoring Chey.

          “Yeah. She told me about it”

          “Umm, we probably should stop talking about it. Chey can’t know unless she looks,” I said trying to change the subject, “I hate biology. There’s no way I can get a B in that class even if my life depended on it.”

 

 

          “Jenny, Kaity showed me that bulletin you put up on Myspace. What was that all about it?” I hated band. It was a way for us to be separated with the people you pretty much only had one thing in common with, and that was that we played the Baritone Horn. I was with Macy. It’s not like I don’t have anything in common with her. But she wasn’t the only one I was with.

          “What bulletin?” I’ve always been good at playing dumb.

          “The one about our friends…”

          “You wouldn’t understand”

          “It looks like you hate us or something”

          “I don’t. I was just frusturated”

          “Well, you don’t need to tell everyone on Myspace.”

          “You don’t get it, Macy”

          “You have no idea how pissed I was last night”

          “It’s not because the bus left you, is it? We told the coach to wait. It’s not our fault that you had detention”

          “That’s not it”

          “Then what is it?”

          “I can’t stand seeing them two together”

          “Who?”

          “Steph and Nikki”

          “Well, there’s nothing you can do”

          “Steph was my best friend”

 

i thought i might forwarn you about your future actions.
not that you want advice or anything :]

i mean, bulletin after bulletin to your "friends", and they all are attacking these people you're supposed to care about.
i get that its frustrating to have people you think are your friends talking shit behind your back and seeming fake at school, but its like you said, its just highschool .
nothing to get worked up over. im sure you do it too, and if you say you don't, well that'd be lying. even when you apologize to a friend, when you try to be the best friend you can and they don't return it, don't get to upset, just keep trying to be the better person. they may not appreciate it now, but i promise someday they'll realize how amazing you are. just remember these girls forgive you when you lie, forgive you when you've betrayed them. remember that and maybe you can be a little more accepting of their mistakes.
highschool goes FAST, but you learn so much.
don't push them away because things are changing. don't push them away because everyone is growing up and making mistakes that will shape their lives. remember you only have three years left with these people and thats IT. hold on to the relationships you have now because you'll probably lose them later.

if you can talk about your friends like this to a whole lot of people, im guessing you got a ways to go before you become that friend you're expecting them to be. you seem to yell at your friends a lot, and im just wondering if its done any good for you so far. because you are hurting people's feelings, and you are stooping down to a level you dont want to be at by starting all this drama over myspace, and not even having enough respect for these girls to send it in a message so the whole world doesn't have to see. communication is what makes a relationship, but do it with respect for the ones you love. pull them aside, one to one and tell them what you think. you don't have to publicize your issues to the world. i love you jenny, and i think you're an awesome girl. you are just like i was, and im telling you that you should probably stop before you mess up a lot of stuff. i've been there, done that. other people have made those mistakes so you don't have to.

maybe you're trying to help your friends, fix them. thats something i struggle with all the time...but sometimes its not in God's plan for us to be that person to help out. sometimes you gotta watch them make their mistakes and learn from them. its one of the hardest things i have to do, especially when you know the potential they might have. but we just gotta accept that God's taking care of them, He's got it all figured out and sometimes He'll ask us for help, other times He'll ask us to back off. im sure you've figured this out by now, but people will ALWAYS fail you. the ones you trust the most, every single one, will lie to you, betray you, and maybe someday bring you down. it sucks when you realize that they are human, just like you. but you just gotta realize nobody can be the perfect friend, and you're gonna have a lot more of these bullitens to write in life if you dont just let things go.
cling to jesus. He won't fail you.

and if you ever want to talk or just write your frustrations via myspace or whatever, im here to listen. i got some old dusty advice packed away somewhere im sure, but if there's something i've learned, people usually don't follow advice, even the good stuff :]

love you babe!

♥kayla

 

Wow; what now? I didn’t think everyone read this bulletin. Even courtney’s sister. She’s a senior!

 

Lunch was a time for everyone to talk about the gossip and the plans for the weekend. Jenny never understood it. It’s not like everyone was invited to the weekend’s plans and most of the gossip was about one of them. One of the twelve that got unlucky and was sick. The unlucky one that would be hurt. Jenny wasn’t that innocent though. She was just like the rest of them. She engaged in just as much gossiping as the next and sometimes, even more. Jenny sat at the crammed table as usual and looked around. Everyone was there. Becca. Cheyenne. Seneca. Steph. Nikki. Alex. Mary. Macy. Jessica. Kaity. Courtney. It was odd. No gossip today. Until someone left the table that is. Today was strange though. When she looked around, some people had a different face on. Jenny couldn’t pick up quite what it was but she knew something was odd.