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Beauty Is Thin 17

Comments? You know I love them ;)
Tragedy Created on 6-18-09 Views(361) Story Rating PG

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Richard finally arrived at the rink, skating in confidently. My heart practically shattered, knowing that soon Donald would talk with him.


I saw Jody skate over by Donald and explain something to him quickly, probably letting him know Richard was here. He nodded at her then walked away.


I saw him go over to Richard, then saw Richard's smile quickly drop.


The rest of that day went by quickly, passing by me in a blur of terror and pain. Well half way... Ryan, my favorite DJ at the rink, also a good friend at that, had explained everything Richard had told him to Jody and me. The few moments, laughing with them, were some of the happiest I had experienced in so long.


I still felt hollow though. I had hurt Richard so bad...


When I got home I simply laid down on the cold tile floor of my bathroom, as I had so many lonely nights before. I slumped up against wall and let tears stream down my face. I had finally gotten him out of my life for good...And this was the feeling. It certainly wasn't what I expected.


He was simply...gone. No longer would his presence interfere with my life. I had done this for the best. It had gotten me one step closer to Jody. But for now, the pain was just too much.


I reached over to the scale in my bathroom and picked it up, taking the razor that I had stuck under the edge out. I stared down at the blade. The glimmering metal tempting me, calling for me. I finally let temptation take me in and pressed it hard against my pale wrist. I winced from the pain and leaned against the wall again, letting the line fill within seconds with crimson blood that flowed now painlessly down my arm.


I breathed in, biting my lip and shutting my eyes. My troubles fled out through the cut, leaving me to be at peace.


“I'm sorry...Jody. I'm sorry.” I silently mouthed as more tears came down, dropping onto my wrist.


I finally regained control over myself, and felt sickened by what I saw. A pathetic little girl...I stood in front of my mirror, looking at all the traits I hated so terribly about my self. I had made a choice...And now this is what I've become. I moved over to the toilet and stared forward and the mirror over head.


'This is for all the fucking bastards that have fucked with me. They'll finally see what a fucking sick person I am' My mind yelled as I quickly pushed two fingers down my throat, choking.


I gagged, but nothing. I tried again, only to have the same effect. I shut my eyes to stop the tears from falling, panting hard I tried again. Same results as before. I threw myself into a wall, screaming.


'How fucking pathetic. You little bitch, get back there and throw up already damn it!' The voice inside me hissed.


I crawled back, and reached for a new tooth brush from my sink. Stumbling back to the toilet, I jabbed it down my throat. Bingo. I gagged, but that had done it.


'Good.' The voice laughed, leaving me alone again.


More tears followed, but I felt successful at least. I laid back down on the tile, taking in the cruel reality.



I'm so sorry for such the delay! I really wanted to keep writing, but I didnt really want to finish writing about god damn Richard -_-


But...There's lots of new updates going on in my life so you'll hear about some of those in the next chapter~


Leave me comments and rates ;) Andddd I love you Pinkslip and Deathroses :D <3

Comments

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On July 19th 2009 pinkslip300 Said: 
pinkslip300 U CANT LET HIM TAKE OVER UR LIFE LKE THAT KIRA! even when hez out of ur life. no. u cant. plz. i kno that its hurting u now that hes gone. vanished. out. disappeared now. but itz lke hes won. hes STILL hurting u n makein u mirerable even thou hes not w u. makin u think nout him. he wantz u 2. i kno. trust me. i do. i have someone lke him in my life. not exactly but similar. n even thou theyre gona n never comin back into my life. itz all i can do but to think bout them all the time. n feel lke theyre still there, hurting n killlin me lke they used to. n thats when i break down n use wat i had back then. itz. so. fuckin. hard. harder than anythin. but u have 2 let them go. somhow. it wont happen today. or tom/ or the next day. maybe not in 10 yrs. but dont let richard (fuckin asshole) have a chokehold on u n keep crushing n grasping ur life into his hands until u run out of breath. he has no right. n i love n care bout u too damn much 2 let u be this way chicka. its tearin me up inside that ur hurting lke this. it hurt ME also. i can feel ur pain, lke itz my own. n i dont want 2 lose u. not lke this. *holds u n cries w u* ♥&heatrs; ily kira
On June 26th 2009 CPluvsamylee Said: 
CPluvsamylee he wont leave but it sounds like it was a good thing he did... its gonna be hard
On June 24th 2009 feebleglurg Said: 
feebleglurg I like it—such a tragic figure, yet so realistically written. I love the voices in her head, they add a real dimension to her. I wonder why she thinks of herself as a sick person? Is it just that she knows it abnormal, or does she hate herself so thoroughly that she simply is doing things to validate her hatred. Either way, it seems like a self-fulfilling cycle. I eat too much because i'm unhappy . . . i'm unhappy because I eat too much . . . I eat too much—
On June 22nd 2009 animallover925 Said: 
animallover925 omg really sad but u are very good at writing. keep it up.
On June 21st 2009 Eviiebaybee10 Said: 
Eviiebaybee10 put more up pleaseee x
On June 18th 2009 mannie512927 Said: 
mannie512927 awwwww i feel so sad for her, love it keep it up!
On June 18th 2009 becca277 Said: 
becca277 I just read this whole story today..took me a while, but it was def. worth it..!! This is a really good story. I can't believe it is true. It's makes me rather sad I guess.. The voices need to leave you alone though. It's sad that they have taken over your life basically... much love!!! -Becca
On June 18th 2009 kalenna4 Said: 
kalenna4 Awesome can't wait to read more
On June 18th 2009 erinbird777 Said: 
erinbird777 wow... that sounds really good... and alot like schizphernia... voices in your head... i know someone with it, its really scary. i can't belive this really happens to you, it make me cry to think comeone has to go through so much shit in life, just know, people out there care about you, your not a sick person, even I care about you, and i don't even know you besides on here!
On June 18th 2009 deathroses111 Said: 
deathroses111 AHH! grr okay iheartyoutoo. better? :]
On June 18th 2009 deathroses111 Said: 
deathroses111 there was a heart at the end of my message it went POOF!
On June 18th 2009 deathroses111 Said: 
deathroses111 i dont know what to say. i want to scream at you. "what the hell does that solve!!!!!" okay screaming over. listening to voices in your head are not good...haha im one to tell you. what else to say?? i know Richard isnt gone. like it would be that easy...right. funny girl, like you would just let him leave...hell like he would just let himself leave after all the attempts to win you over. i love you too.
On June 18th 2009 lovejacob Said: 
lovejacob It was really good.... but, I'm shocked... =C
On June 18th 2009 xxxshylaxxx Said: 
xxxshylaxxx ...