Beauty Is Thin 9

I know I left too much mess
And destruction to come back again
And I caused but nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "It's over"
Then I'm sure that that makes sense

My mind was in a state of total confusion. Was I dead? Why though...Was this music here? Maybe it symbolized something...The song had always reminded me of Jody. I had even put it as her ring tone.

 I never believed in Heaven or Hell. Life already was Hell. While Heaven...is where I go when I have a simply amazing dream...Hm...What an odd thing for an atheist to say!

Ring tone! It was Jody's ring tone!!! Realization was coming to me slow. Maybe she was calling me back...

Forcefully, I tried with all my might to open my eyes and bring any feeling back. My scenes sharpened slightly as I felt the carpet beneath me, the tears now dried, and the music coming from my cell phone. I was amazed it hadn't shut off by now.

I reached for it, but got hit by dizziness. Still I continued though and grasped it in my hand.

“Hey” I smiled even though she couldn't see me.

“Hey. What's up?” Her voice answered me. She really did have a beautiful voice...

“Hm...I really don't know...” I chuckled, my mind still felt so cluttered...Like there was a huge cotton ball preventing thoughts to enter freely.

“Is everything okay? After I got your call, I called you back but you didn't answer. This is my third attempt. I'm glad I at least got a hold of you.”

“Yeah..Things are fine I think...Um...I'm bleeding actually. Its deeper than the others.” I bit my lip after saying this, afraid for her reaction.

I'm almost sure I heard her slowly breathe, worried I assume. I closed my eyes again, almost to tired to speak.

“What did you cut with?” She finally asked.

“Just a razor.”

“Is it still bleeding?”

“Barley. It'll be fine, Im sure.”  I replied quickly, trying to make sure she didn't worry.


The rest of the day passed slowly, but normally for the most part. My mother and brother had left the house as usual, leaving me to steal some more razors and hide them. It was almost like a game for me. A very sick and twisted game.

Two of them I hid in my mint box, next to my computer. Another I taped down behind a Beatles poster. Two I placed within a Chinese tea set. And finally one in a mint box in my purse, in the case of emergencies.

*beop beop*

I glanced over at my computer to see that Richard had just messaged me...shit...

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Thats right...Richard is back -___- Starting out this story I didnt think I would write about him to much, but yesterday he did something that really pissed me off (I'll write about that  later) So Im taking my anger out ^_^

So did I scare you all last chapter? ^_^ lol you sillies...Of course she couldnt die, other wise I'd have to be dead...And then I dont think I could be writing this right now ;)

Love you all <3 AND comments =]