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LinLin030988

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Renay slowly awakened to the steady buzz of her insectile alarm clock.

She sat up, letting the sheets pool around her in a lilac puddle.  She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and reached over to silence the clock of it's serenade of noise.  She knocked it off; it fell to the floor and shattered.

"OH!!  And I liked that one too.." she mumbled.  She often talked to herself; this was routine, and very typical of Renay Stewart.

She leaned over the edge of her bed, sieced the broken clock, and sat back up in her bed, wiggling to the middle of the queen sized mattress.  She studied the face of the destroyed clock, running a finger over the delicate orb-web pattern of cracks now adorning its surface.

As she looked upon the shattered remains of the clock's face, the phone rang.  Jarring her back to reality, she dropped the clock again, it bounced off the bed and once more fell to the wooden tiled floor.  This time the glass exploded from the face- the clock was no more.

Renay hurridly stood, stumbling over her twisted bedsheets and sprawling to the floor, barely missing the clock's distributed remains.  She scrambled to her feet and, still waering her bed socks, slid to her desk, knocking the phone off of it.  She ducked, grabbed the phone, and after more fumbling mixed with an array of swear words that would make a sailor blush, she finally had the phone to her mouth.

"Hello?" she said, with a note of anxiety in her voice.

"Hey!  I didn't bother you did I?" Worried female voice, small and intense.  It was her best friend, Roslyn.

"Well- not .. exactly.."

"Good! Can you come and get me?" she said, a plea in her voice.

"Well... really, oh why?!"

"I kind of.. need to go to the auto shop.  My baby's still there-" her baby, a 1997 Eclipse GS, her pride and joy, which wouldn't burn the pavement of the road, but was still put on the pedistal of road-burners by its owner anyway.

"Well that's nice.. but what about your other baby.. the one you go with?" asked Renay, referring to Roslyn's boyfriend, Carl.

"He's got the flu.. I wasn't going to bother him, he finally fell asleep this morning, and he hid the keys to his car, otherwise I'd use it."

"I guess I could come get you." Renay obliged, throwing on some shorts while balancing the phone with her shoulder.

"Yes, thank you!  Thank yo.. but.. oh.. uh oh, You know what? I'll just wait til Carl wakes up, I'm sure I could find his keys.."

"No, I'm going to come get you, you've already gotten me and asked me, so I'm coming.  Tell me how to get there." Renay said firmly.  Roslyn was evading her now, and she always did when her home came into question.  I will not take no for an answer.. not this time.. I'm finally gonna see your house. Renay thought, slightly anxious since she'd avoided company there for so long.. she just had to know what the big deal was.

"Well .. it's not.. exactly.. Uhmm... I mean.."

"Look.  I couldn't care less where you lived.  I'm not going to dispwn you for having a .. strange.. house."

"The house isn't the pro-!"

"Nonsense," Renay interrupted, " I'll be there soon.  Tell me where to go."

"I guess I can't hide it forever...." Roslyn trailed off.. and began dictating directions to her home.

After following Roslyn's directions, Renay pulled into a driveway matching the description she was given.  She stayed in the car for a second, quietly invetoring the surroundings according to Roslyn's account.  She turned her head from the privacy fence just in time to miss seeing the vine that whipped out from behind it to snatch an airborne bluejay from the sky.  The snakelike vine crushed the bird, and with one last strangled cry and a drop or two of blood from the creature's beak it was gone, the vine retreating with violent speed back behind the fence carrying its victim.

Instead of watching the fence, which at the time she'd seen it was utterly boring, Renay was instead inspecting the ivy-covered wrought iron gate seperating her from her destination.  The ivy was so thick it was like glancing into a jungle.  It was completely covered to the point of not even being able to find a peephole to peer though.

The privacy fence was the largest god-given fence Renay had ever laid eyes on, reaching what she assumed was an astounding height of 15 feet.

She primly adjusted her new sunglasses as she finally stepped out of her black Bug.  She strided to the left side of the gate, studying the dial-pad and then the security camera that was sweeping the area.  Renay looked at her wrist, where she'd written a number Roslyn had given her to get in.  She dialed it in, and, after a slight pause, pressed the 'enter' button.

A bell sounded, ringing only three times, and the gargantuine gate swung inward, smoothly and steady, gliding as though it were on ball bearings instead of hindges, allowing entrance to the garden area of the estate.  Renay's jaw dropped, and she left it unchecked.

The garden was breathtaking.. truely a specticle worth gasping over.  The entire two acres or so of land surrounding the dixie style manor were covered with almost every imaginable species of tree, shrub, perinnial, annual, vine and grass that could be thought of.  Fireworks of color burst from everywhere as bees and butterflies continued their daily rounds.  The vines covered most of the manor's sides, from what she could see, leaving barely enough space between them to open the shutters on the windows.   The garden was magnificent but there was one vine in particular that drew Renay's attention in full.  Once more, she delicately adjusted her sunglasses, this time slightly lowering them down on the bridge of her nose, so she could see over them to better examine the massive beast of a bontanical.

The vine, in whole, was in a circular area devoid of any life for a diameter of no less than 30 feet.  The monstrosity was rooted directly in the center of the bare blotch of earth, trailing over a bent and rusted wrought iron headboard and foot board set, each driven past the top of the legs into the ground.  Had it been a complete bed, a king sized matress would have been far too narrow for this bed.  The vine had covered it nearly to the point of indisctiction.

After numbly noting the absense of living things except for the vine, Renay slowly stepped into the circle of dirt, inspecting the vine with less caution than necessary.  The vines were ivy green, a purplish tinge at the tips of the leaves and vines.  Tiny violet like floweres adorned almost every inch of each vine, and the leaves put Renay's mind in the direction of 'fern like'.

Renay took another step closer, seemingly intransed by the sinisterly wavering tendrils.  How did they sway so invitingly without a breeze?  The intoxicatingly sweet, yet somehow bitter and pungent fragrance, the unusual exotic beauty of the colorful leaves..

She stopped a mere four feet from the gigantic vine, just close enough to take another step and reach out.. to stroke one of the smooth, poisonous looking vines.  She did, and as she traced a finger over the vine closest to her, it shivered.  She suddenly came back to Earth, and backed up a step.

"Uhhh....." she said, starting to wonder exactly how she ended up so close to the damn thing.  All other audible thoughts were cut off as one of the innumerous vines whipped towards her with the speed of light chasing it.

She jumped backwards just in time to miss having a face lift- instead of getting her nose, it found her brand new hundred dollar sunglasses instead.  The beastly plant paused, holding the glasses in front of her like a bully holding the schoolyard geek's lunchbox, just out of reach, taunting bastard, and then with an almighty flick the glasses were expelled from the vine's grasp into the air.  Before they began their descent, another vine, this one thicker, and acid green snatched the glasses from the air, and withdrew with them, drawing them into the center of the ginormous clump of vines.

"Sonofawhore!!" Renay exclaimed, "I know you didn't...."  She was fuming, but she wasn't shaking only with anger; the massive tentacle of a vine had, after all, just missed what was behind her eyes- her whole face for that matter.

The monstrocity created a wet, crunching noise, apparently testing the glasses for edibility.  The glasses failed the test, and were mercilessly flung with spectacular aim from the center of the vines.  With a thick, moist smack, the crumbled remains, along with a glob of foul purple plant-goo splattered onto Renay's forehead, hair, face, and neck. 

Thankfully it didn't get in her eyes, she shut them just in time.  She wiped the gunk away from her eyelids, trying not to change that.  While she was slinging the goo from her hands, she heard a teeny 'click' and turned angrily to find the source of the noise.  Roslyn stood there, leaning on a tree trunk, with a polaroid camera swinging idolly from her left hand.  She held up the camera, and 'click' : another photo.  The camera ejected the photo. 

"I promise these are just for us.." said Roslyn, amused despite the obvious anxiety written in her eyes.  She handed Renay the first photo, which revealed a stunned and splattered renay slinging the purple goo from her hands.

"The plant is harmless to me, and my pets, but it hates Carl.  Once, the Monstrosity stole his pants .. while he was wearing them.  It snatched them off, cleanly too, didn't even make him fall.  Carl still hates him."

"...him?"

"Yes, the gender if unknown, but I assume it's a male.  I was worried he would eat you or something, but I waited seeing it was just playing with you.."

"It's cool.. you owe me sunglasses though.  How'd you come across this place, it's amazing!"

"Well, it's kinda a long story.  Once I drove by here on the way to work from the apartments, and saw a 'for sale' sign out here, by the fence.  I was early for work by at least a half hour, so I decided to look, I love looking at houses.  I pulled into the driveway, the gate was open and all, and started looking around, all these plants were here when I first saw it.  I saw this Monstrosity, and was immediately curious.  SO I did the same thing you did, walked over to it, and touched a vine.  He touched my cheek, and at first I thought it was the wind, moving a vine.  After a second I abandoned that thought, it grabbed my wrist.  I did what any sane person would do, screamed, struggled a little.  So he let go of me, and I swear he started purring, like a cat.. only.. not a cat."  She cleared her throat, and continued.

"AT this point the owner came outside, saw me, and freaked out.  The little dude was a mess, all distraught looking, his hair everywhere.  He said, 'come back tomorrow, this place is yours.' "

"He just gave it to you?" Renay said, shocked."

"Yeah.  Came back like he asked, the place was empty, and he'd left a note saying he'd pay for everything but the utilities.  He was so relieved to be rid of the plant that he even paid off the house.  I have no idea where he is now, haven't heard from him since."

"This place was free?!"

"Yeah.  Cept for water, electric, and grocery bills, I pay for nothing."

"That's so crazy.. but..."

"But.." Roslyn prompted.

"But.. why do you think of the plant as a he?"

Roslyn pointed somewhere behind Renay.  Renay turned to look, and saw a vine sneaking up to her thigh.  It touched her just as she saw it, working its way up, caressing her leg, lingering as it went.

"Just slap it away, he won't hurt you." Roslyn said.

Renay brushed the vine away and was marvelled at its lack of protest.

"I just want you to know.. You could have told me this a long time ago, I would have never hated you for having a strange plant... pet.. plet.  We'll call him your plet."

"I didn't think you'd disown me, I was more worried it'd hate you like it does Carl, and that you'd be scared to come around."

"Speaking of him, where is he?" asked Renay.

"Inside." Roslyn said, pointing to the second floor of the manor.  Renay looked and saw Carl looking down from the window.  She waved, and he returned the wave, clearly laughing.

"Why did you take so long to show up?" Renay asked Roslyn.

"Well.. I've been here most of this time, Since you came in.  I was watching just to see how he would react to you, and I could tell immediately that he liked you, so I sat back and watched the show." she said, still smiling ear to ear.  She hitched an astounded and angry expression on her face, and mimicked Renay:

"SON OF A WHORE!" She slung her hands around at her sides, and the two girls started laughing as they sat down on the ground.

Renay suddenly looked depressed.

"Why the long face?" Roslyn asked.

"My glasses.  I loved that pair.. and you didn't even get to see them.." she replied, with a pouty expression on her face.

"Yes I did!  They were really cute!" Roslyn exclaimed.

"Yeah.. before 'Plet" got'em." Renay retorted venomously

"I do owe you new ones then, and we can go get pizza, I miss my car, so we can go now."

"Good idea," Renay said, patiently pusing a vine away from her waist, "..'he' is getting essited over here, creepy."