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LadyCha0s

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Angel looked at herself in the mirror that Sunday morning. She saw herself different, new. She smiled and put on a white dress, Gabriel already in his button up and jeans. He had tied his now long hair into a pony tail, his curls neater than hers. She kissed him and grabbed the Bible he had given her. They walked into church, smiling, heading towards their normal seat. Gabriel kneeled beside Angel, holding her hand. Gabriel was in communion, Angel looking at him and smiling. She closed her eyes....Here I am again Lord...I guess I have something to say....Thanks, I guess....I'm finding it easier to forgive and to move on....I know I'm not perfect and I'm probably not good enough for him but Lord...I'm in love with him....and I never want to let go....Make me better somehow...Gabriel says you can...Would you make me better? I don't know how to let you but you can if you want....I don't want to be scared any more...I want to feel good about myself....oh yea...the baby is going to be almost four months after Thanksgiving and Gabriel is coming back to school...Please be with us Lord...I don't even know why I'm saying any of this...Just please...be with us...

Gabriel was standing up reading the Bible when she finished. She opened up hers, quickly finding the Psalms. Some of them caught her eye, she would read them later. Angel closed her eyes as everyone sang, she didn't know any of the songs. Gabriel was too into the songs to notice she was trying to get him to help her learn them. When the preaching came she listened closely, it was about Joshua and the wall of Jericho.

"Why climb the wall when God can knock it down for you? We lean on our own strength and try to get passed our problems alone when here is the Lord, waiting on us to let Him just knock down the wall of sorrow, the wall of pain, the walls of debt...Whatever is your problem God says tonight to stop trying to climb that wall and just open your mouth and praise Him! Let God knock it down."

Angel found herself nodding her head. She had once heard about Joshua as a little girl..But never like this. God would help her overcome any problem she had...If she let Him. She could be better and healed if she let Him...Every hurt from the past could be healed...If I let You will you help me?....

Gabriel held her hand as she made the most terrifying and exhilarating walk up to the altar. She didn't let Emerie's cold looks stop her from reaching the goal ahead of her. She stopped in front of the altar, getting down on her knees. Gabriel knelt beside her smiling. He held her hand as she made the prayer that proclaimed Jesus as her Saviour. She began to cry, all her pain was coming to the surface. Her mother and her father, Alex and all her misery from her childhood. The years wasted in alcohol and anger...All of it was coming to the surface. She cried in Gabriel's arms, not noticing when the Pastors began to pray for her. She felt a boost of strength all of a sudden and as if her heart all of a sudden was full. She felt alive, like she had never breathed air until then. She opened her eyes and saw Gabriel's smile. He hugged her tight, everyone clapping. She stood up and with Gabriel by her side, was welcomed into the church, the only people Gabriel considered family. She felt like she belonged, she finally felt wanted....Thankyou.....

Gabriel and Angel went back to their seats, the Pastor once again welcoming her from the pulpit. He made the last prayer before they went home. As they exited, more people greeted Angel. She believed them when they said they loved her. She finally had the one thing she never had growing up; family. 

As Gabriel walked to the car, Angel stopped him. She looked into his eyes and smiled.

"Thanks, Gabe...For this, and everything. I don't know what I'd do without you."

He kissed her and took her into his arms....ThankYou Father.....Angel hugged him once more before they got in the car. Emerie was watching them as they droved passed, Angel smiling but Emerie didn't change her cold gaze.

"Don't worry about Emerie...Today is your day Angie."

Gabriel and Angel spent the day at home, Angel opening up about the past. Her childhood traumas of the abuse she received from a family member, her mother's neglect and her father's abandonment. They exchanged their life as if taking turns, when Angel reached the night she got raped, she froze. Gabriel took her hand.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"No,no..I want to..I need to...."

She took a deep breathe and closed her eyes.

"I was home doing homework, a project for english. Alex called me up, there was a party that night. He said he'd come get me at 7:30 and to meet him at the corner of my block. So I got ready in some jeans and a tank top, September hadn't gotten cold yet. Any ways, he picked me up and we went to the party. I didn't drink and neither did he. He said he was bored and I was too so we left. When we got to his house I thought his parents would be home you know? That's what he told me. But he said they must have went out. We went to his room and I sat down on his bed while he went to the bathroom. He came back and sat down next to me..."

She tightened the grip on Gabriel's hand, still not looking at him.

"We talked for a little bit, making out after a while. We laid back and he started to touch me. I was already used to it. But then he wanted to take off my clothes. I told him not to, I wasn't ready yet. He tried sweet talking me and saying that he had waited too long. I kept saying no and telling him to stop but he didn't. He pinned me down and ripped my shirt and hit me when I tried getting up. When he got started taking my pants off I tried to kick him but he hit me again. He hit me so hard in the stomach that I couldn't get up. He got naked and started kissing me all over and then...then he went in. It hurt so much and when I screamed for him to stop he hit me again and wrapped his hand around my neck, telling me he'd choke me if I screamed again. He wouldn't stop and he kept on and on and on...He was enjoying every second of it while I cried and tried to stop him. When he did stop he looked at me and smiled. He called me a whore and said I was worthless. He got dressed and told me to hurry up and get my clothes on. I couldn't move, I was so scared. There was blood in between my legs and on his bed. When he saw it he threw my clothes at me and walked out. I slowly got dressed and made my way down the stairs. When I opened the door he was standing outside. He told me to get in the car. He put a towel on the seat so I wouldn't stain it. He left me in front of my apartment, bloody and bruised up. I went upstairs and  into the shower, scrubbing myself until my skin was red. I threw out the clothes I wore that night and put on some sweatpants and a long shirt. I didn't want to look at what I had just done to my wrist and thigh. I got  in bed and  I didn't get out of my house until a week after..I didn't go to school for two weeks until that morning you confronted him...."

She wiped her tears and breathed again, Gabriel looking at her with sadness in his eyes. He hugged her tight...Lord she needs you now...Give her strength...Angel looked at him and then put her hands on her belly.

"Now I have a baby inside me...I'm a junior in high school and I'm already going to be a mother."

She laughed, Gabriel wanting so much to make it better for her. He felt the urge inside himself to find Alex again and torture him....Gabriel simply held her close to him and kissed her.

"You'll be ok Angel, I'm here...I won't let him hurt you. Now you have God and He will never let you down."