Created By

KrystalToney

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Bell allowed Jason to pull her shirt slowly over her head. At first she felt embarassed, but his warming smile made her want to show him more and be closer to him. He sat and stared at her for a moment, his face gentle and caring. He looked into her eyes, his eyes questoning whether she really wanted this.

''I do.'' she whispered. ''Bell...'' he looked down into the grass, his breathing becoming deep and raspy. ''Your giving me something so special, so sacred. I don't want you to feel like you have to. If you don't or if you do...I'll feel the same way about you in the morning.'' Bell felt the slight breeze against her skin. ''I told you...I have never wanted anything so much in my life and if I have to lose it...I'd rather it be with you.''

''Bell...'' Bell quickly put her finger to his lips. She reached up slowly and unfastened her bra. Jason started to argue in protest, but Bell's innocent body immobilized his lips and for a second his words slipped his mind all together. Jason kissed her softly, as she undid his dark brown sweater, pulling it over his black hair. She watched his chest rise and fall slowly, his cross neckalace hanging smoothing against his pale skin.

Bell reached up and kissed him slowly, allowing his hands to explore her body. She reached for the zipper on his jeans...he quickly grabbed her hands.

''Bell...I can't do this to you.'' He muttered between clenched teeth. ''I want do this to you.'' Bell looked into his eyes, his face washed in a glowing red. His eyes watered. ''I told you...it's what I want.'' she whispered. Jason shook his head. ''It's what I want to.'' he said. Bell squeezed his hand reassuringly. ''Then what's the problem?'' Jason turned away, clenching his face as tears streamed down his face. ''Bell...I want this more than anything, but...'' He stopped to stare into the sun.

''I can't.'' he finally said. ''I just can't.'' Jason stood up, pulling his shirt over his head. Bell could feel the tears clouding her eyes and then she felt the warm saltly stream scroll down her face. ''Jason...'' She muttered. Jason handed her her shirt and bra, but kept his eyes starring into the distance. He wouldn't even look at her. She had been so ready to give herself to him...so ready.

''I told you Bell...I'm a monster and I don't want to take your virginity not knowing if...'' He stopped, choked by tears. Bell pulled her shirt over her head, but now it was her who refused to look at him. ''Just tell me.'' she said sternly. Jason took a deep breath. ''You remind me so much of Emily and I don't want to take your virginity not knowing if it is Bell Parker I love and not Emily.'' Bell could literally feel her heart stop.

Why was he saying this? He had said he 'loved her'. Bell stared into the sun, tears silently dripping down her cheeks. She suddenly felt cold and alone. She wrapped her arms around herself. Jason reached out to touch her, but she quickly pushed his hand away. She looked up and could see the hurt in his face, but she was sure he saw the hurt in her's.