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KiddieWishes

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I feel a slight breeze making my clothes shift and my hair tickle my face. I can hear the ocean waves crashing on the sand and soft humming close to my ear. I open my eyes slowly to a beach, the beach were my mom’s friend had a summer home. I’m lying under a tree in the grass. My mother is sitting next to me, humming a lullaby she always sang to me and softly stroking my hair.

My mom looks down at me with those green eyes of hers and pouts a little. “Did mommy wake you up honey?” She asks, “Mommy’s sorry. You just look so adorable when you sleep, mommy couldn’t help herself.”

I just give her my sweetest smile that says I forgive you. I let her pick me up and set me in her lap. My mother always talked in third person, I guess its part of her “sickness”. At least that’s what she always tells me. Like when she gets real distant and doesn’t want to see me. Or when she and I went away from daddy right after I finished Kindergarten because, she couldn’t get any better being close to daddy all the time. But she never said why she took me. I feel like she isn’t getting any better, but that’s why we’re here, to see her friend that can make her all better.

“It’s time that we go meet up with Eric honey.” My mom got up to her feet and brushed all the dirt and sand off both of us.

“You mean, Mr. Boss?” I ask, and my mom gives her head a little nod in agreement, “He scares me mommy, he has scary eyes. I feel so... empty when I look at them. Like when you drink all of your apple juice, you get this lonely, empty feeling inside my tummy.” I put my hand on my stomach and it feels all twisted inside. I can hear it grumble in anger lots of times, but no one else can. Sometimes I can’t control the feelings and things it says to do. Like when I look at Mr. Boss, it tells me to run away.

She looks over to me as we walk up Mr. Boss’ driveway and states, “Mommy would never let anyone hurt you, you know that right? As long as mommy is still alive, you’ll never be hurt, okay honey?”

“Alright mommy, I believe you.” I smile my sweet smile at her and we start to walk up the steps.

I start walking again and ask, “Is Mr. Boss really gonna make you all better mommy? Because that would be so good, it would make everyone so happy. And then we can go see daddy again, since it’s almost my seventh birthday. I want to see Johnny too, He’ll be ten years old soon. I haven’t seen either of them in so long, I wonder what they both look like now.”

She stops dead in her tracks and replies, “Mommy does wonder too... What daddy and Johnny will think of mommy. I do miss my little boy.” She says with a little sigh of sadness, then she looks over to me, “But mommy has her little girl with her, so everything will be okay.” She smiles down at me just as we reach the front door of his house. “Just promise mommy one thing, before we go in.” I nod my head, so she goes on, “Promise mommy that you will never let the monster inside you come out, that you will never let it take over, ever!” My eyes start to swell up with tears. My mom goes down on one knee and hugs me, “Mommy’s sorry. You know mommy loves you. Mommy just doesn’t want you to end up like her, alright?” I nod my head, I look at the golden heart-shaped necklace around her neck and mouth the words inscribed on the front,  sempre, i miei amori, ‘always, my loves’. As I say those words, I can feel the grumbling in my tummy die down just a little.

The door opens behind us and Mr. Boss comes out. “Kathryn and Ms. Ailia, I’ve been expecting both of you. Please, come in.” He waves his hands toward inside. I try to ignore the feeling in the pit of my stomach but it’s so very strong. I look up at his slate gray eyes; I see so much pain and despair of others. I’m so frightened I start shivering all over and I can’t help but stare at his eyes that have frozen my stature. I can feel this pressure coming from my stomach and heading for my throat, it feels like sand paper in there. I try to conceal it as much as I can, but it won’t go down. I can’t hold it in any longer, this scream has to come out or I’ll implode.

***

I wake up in a bed, at the nurse’s office screaming my brains out. I have a cold sweat all over my body and I can’t stop shaking. I remember my dream and what happened before I passed out crystal clear. It was one of those memories, I thought I... Maybe... I just don’t know anymore. This place, it’s triggering too many of them. One thing’s for sure, I need to get out of here, before anyone else dies or I go insane from my dreams.

I can hear some of the escorts running out in the halls, trying to get everything calmed down. But I seem to be the only one in the beds and there isn’t a nurse in sight. They must need everyone to clean up this mess. I don’t know if they’ll be able to cover it up though, like they did my mother’s... I suppose its doctors against loony kids. Geez, I wonder which the cops will believe?