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KaosQueen

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SUNDAY

She woke up and turned to look out of her window, grey sky and dead silence. Just the way she wanted it. She lay in her bed for awhile thinking of nothing but how it would feel like to die. She got out of bed and went to the bathroom to quickly wash her face.’ Ring ring’ the sound of the telephone in the kitchen, she ran to pick it up. ‘Sniff’ her friend was crying on the other line “what happened” she asked her friend. She told, “Im sure it will turn out ok” she reassured her. After everything was said and done she hung up the phone and walked into her bedroom. She sat on her chair thinking, what would it feel like to be lonely? What would it feel like not to have a care or worry about anyone?

MONDAY

‘What would it feel like to be lonely’? She shuffled her feet to school, earphones in ear blocking the outside world. She walked through the school gates and saw her friend wave to her; she ignored it and kept on walking. She sat at the back of the classroom and stared at the back of her love. Knowing she could never have him she felt a stab of pain, it hurt her deep inside. He dropped his pencil on the ground and went to pick it up, during that he looked up and their eyes met. She looked away instantly. A note got passed across to her and she opened it up

“Should we talk? Let’s meet at the front gates”

She looked at the note with doubt, and then shifted her eyes across to him. He was looking at her and just smiled and turned away facing his back towards her once again.

She walked to the front gates with a little bounce into her step and there he was. The one sentence she heard him say brought her bounces away into quivers. “I think we should be friends”, what she said next surprised her “I’d rather be alone”. With her quivering legs she ran out of the school gates eyes brimming with tears.

She heard steps running after her form behind, she quickened her pace. The person caught up and flicked her on the head. She turned around to look at her friend who had been crying the other day. “It’s all okay now” her friend told her cheerfully, “that’s cool” she said back and turned a corner without another word. Whilst thinking in her head ‘what would it feel like to not have a care or worry about anyone?’

TUESDAY

‘What would it feel like to die’? She called the school up and spoke with the coordinators to tell them she wasn’t feeling too well and couldn’t come, after they confirmed it she hung up. She sat at her desk drawing lines and shapes on her arm with a blade and watched the blood slowly run down. After she got tired of that she looked for another way to amuse herself. ‘What would it feel like to die’, it kept running through her head. She walked into her kitchen and looked at the series of kitchen blades in the drawer. She grabbed the knife that shone in the light of the window and took one last at the grey sky…and said

~goodbye to the lonely silence.