abused at 16 part 1

I look at her in disgust..

as soon as i walked in that night i knew she had been drinking again. i went to my cousins in town for the day. and of course when i got home i could smell the beer from the door way.

i wonder to my self how drunk she will be when i see her... i walk into the kitchen and there she is getting another out of the fridge. she was suprised to see me i could tell.

"where have you been all night smoking pot again with all ur druggie friends" she said

" i told you where i went i went to see mel and the baby and help her pack" i said in a bratty way which i knew i would get pay back for later.

she just stood there.. like she had to think about what i just said to her. like i was trying to correct her...

i always thought it was my fault she drank in some way it had to be my fault... earlier that year at the beginning of my sophomore year i was really depressed and sick alot and got in so many fights at school that my mom decided i could be home schooled... i knew from that moment on i would go threw hell. my father was never around when i was young.. he was in and out of prison my whole life. my mom was sick alot having alot of surgerys and things. i always thought maybe thats why she drank to get rid of the pain.

well the home schooling didnt last long eventually it faded and i was a drop out. my mom worked during the day that was my time away from her.. she never let me leave the house.. so i would just call up my dealer and get more weed so the pain wouldnt be so bad when she got home..

everyday its like a routine she goes to work then comes walking up that side walk with a 24 pack of beer. i count the seconds before she opens the door praying that just once ... just once she wouldnt drink and would be a normal mom. she goes and changes her clothes and then cracks one open finishes the first one off in 5 minutes then the next and then the next and just keeps going till there done... sometimes she would get half way threw and then the fighting would start... kinda like tonight when i got home i knew she wasnt threw the whole pack yet..i would hate to see her if she had finished the whole thing.. as i slowly walked away from her i though and here is where the game begins...

i went to my room and put my purse on my bed and turned on the tv.

she followed close behind and i knew we were going to fight.

"i called ur aunts earlier and she said you werent there... u stupid fucking liar" she said in her ur going to get a beating tone.

"that cant be possible" i said " i never left her house i swear.. are you sure u called?"

"am i sure i called!!!" she said basically spitting on me" i think i would know if i called!!!"

before i could even get the words out she slapped me across the face. the grabbed my hair and pulled me into the dinning room and slammed my head on the table... and laughed then as hard as she could she punched me in the stomach.

i couldnt say a thing. there was blood every where all i remember was looking at her face.. at her smiling at me as i slowly pass out...

i woke up the next morning and knew i needed a shower. to think that was her being nice last night i could barely breathe and was so scared of today.. because today was her day off work...

i thought to my self.. im only 16... what did i do to deserve this.

then i went and got in the shower to start the "routine" over again