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Dustman99

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In the morning, I will wake up.  I will lay there for five minutes pondering some vivid dream I had of some small town convienience store owner pushing me over a cliff. All over a bottle of Ketchup.  After I am done trying to register what it all means, I will get up and stumble out of my room. I will rub the sand from my eyes, and go into the bathroom were I will partake in my morning urinations.  It is at this moment that I dreadfully realize that I have to work later. "Terrific", I say out loud as if everyone knows what I am talking about. I will put the toilet seat down, and leave the bathroom.  Yes, I can be a gentleman.  From here I will qoute Edward Norton in Fight Club.  I just felt like destroying something beautiful. I will walk down my stairs while checking my digital leash for messages.  Awesome, I got one lets take a look.  Nope, nothing of significant value.  Just some mindless forward of a girl ramming a vintage bowling pin in her ass.  Fantastic.  I happily delete the message, and proceed to the kitchen.  From there I will dine on cereal.  When I eat cereal I like to envision the dozens of Turkish elderly women sifting through my cereal back in the factory making sure little pieces of shrapnel and body parts don't make it into my bowl.  I will finish the cereal, and drink the milk a spoonful at a time. Because that is how I roll.  I will place the bowl in the sink and procede to get ready for work.  AFter I am done, I will walk outside and look onwards at my car thinking a myriad of thoughts about the asshole who kicked a dent into my beloved cars beautiful shoulder.  If I find out who you are, I am going to eat your mother.  Absolutly no joke.  I will enjoy her with some fucking Boon's Farm.  I will start my car slightly noticing that my car doesn't get the same gas milage as it used to.  I will bitch more about the dent, but will move on.  I get to work, and hear the sounds of toilet papers, pens, and milks and stuffs getting rung out, and I clearly look up to the sky and say, " I am in hell".  Indeed.