Teenage Zombie 1

You think school is hard. Shut up you dildo. Do you look at your math teacher and think "Oh, my god he had his porksword in my mom and sent his evil satan spawn to fertile something that will probably burst out of my mom like a creepy alien baby will?!" No? Exactly so shut up. And Mr.Wilson, yeah thats his name, looks at me as if he has some kind of power over me just because he knocked up my mother. That fascist pig.

You think your home life is bad? Shut your freakin’ gob. Okay lets say your me. I suck at math, my mom banged Satan. Satan now lives at my house. Satans spawn is now in my mothers belly. Hows my home life? Sucks. Who knew that sex could be so unholy?

Now I have to spend my whole summer, no. Not even summer, my whole freakin’ life -until im eighteen- with the spawn, my mom, and the devil himself. I think the world has it out for me. Your probably wondering about my reaction to this life-ruining news. I’ll run it by you.

Mother; the carrier of this evil spawn sits me down in the living room in her over stuffed chair that looks like the one in That Seventies Show, while her and Mr.Wilson, who at the time I knew had been dating my mom and was now in the act of moving in (trust me I wasnt happy to hear about that either) sat on the couch which looked like the one in the basement of That Seventies Show; sighed and just looked at me. It was around dinner time and I was staring at the car keys on the side table, my fingers itching to seize them.

"Emily, we have some news for you." My mom says taking his hand. My skin crawls. Why isnt her hand melting off yet?

"Your getting me a car?" I ask hopefull. I sat on the edge of the stupid, stiff chair.

The devil laughs, I think he’s grown horns now. "Were getting you a sibling!" He grins.

That’s it. My life’s over. My heart stops and I get up, "PHUCKET!" I yell. I throw my hands in the air and try to make my way to the basement.

"Emily Rose Russom!" My mother yells but its to late, I grip the brass door knob.

"THAILAND!" I slam the door and make my way jogging down the wooden steps. I press my self into the purple shag carpet and reach for my banana phone. I dial Maggie.

Here’s the deal with Maggs. She’s been my best friend since third grade. Yeah, we’ve got history. Well anyways she’s my best friend and when ever im in a jam she’s the one to call. She’s like this body filled with advice. She’s got this brain that invent solutions. I create the problem and she solves it. So I dial her number.

"Maggs, my mom is prego." I say my voice shaking even I still can’t belive it still. The line is quiet for a second.

"Who’s the daddy?" She asks. I feel vomit build in my throat.

"Mr.Wilson!" I hear her jump up on her bed, the way it creaks, and she gasps.

"Honest to blog?!" Maggie’s voice is estatic, "You mean our teacher?!"

"No I mean the the one in Ellen Pages’s pants, you need any bones that need to be collected?" I say sarcastically. "Duh him!"

"Phucket, Thailand."

"Thats what I said." I sit down on my round bed staring out the gritty window. My walls are pasted with post cards sent from my father, he’s always moving around. So I normally just get a picture of where he is. Just a picture of how much he loves me.

"You sure she’s pregnant?" Magg asks,

"Maggie. My mom is fo shizz up the spout." I sigh.

"Welcome to the end of your life Em."

Maybe she’s right.

I walk around school now drowned in stink eyes. The only person I can talk to now is Maggie. She doesn’t care if my mom was banged by all the teachers. Personally; I would care. Everyone knows that I suck in math, so they think my mom had sex with him just to get my grades up. Sitting outside of the school my feet propped up on Maggs lap people walk by whispering slurs. I barley look up before shouting "Phuck you." The breeze plays with Maggies gold curls. She could be the perfect prep. But she’s just weird. Just like me. She tightens her belt around her waist. The rainbow frays spill into a colorful pool by her hip. I sigh and play with one of the yellow frays.

I flash back to the day the whole school found out, getting dismissed, my mom kissed Mr.Wilson on the cheek. I could have thrown up. And when people see her around now, pregnant as a blimp; they can add two and two together. And thats pretty much when my life went down the tube. And people now my dads not around and my mom is not a hooker. Then again... No.

"Emily!" I realized that I was yanking on the yellow fray. Practally pulling Maggie into my lap. "Did you forget to take your meds today?" A passerby asked. "Sold ‘em to your mom last night." I retorted. Then I left. "Later Maggs!"

"Call me!" She yelled, she was heading off to band practice.

I turn around and grin walking backwards I yell back; "Stalk you!"