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            “For my funeral song I want ‘Amazing Grace’ to be played.”

            I laughed at her and said, “Why worry about that now? You’re not going to die anytime soon.”

            She smiled for my sake, though I could see she was serious, and replied, “Yeah, well, you never know what God will do next.” Her eyes sparkled as we hugged goodnight and I watched her dash up the porch steps, unlock her front door, and wave as she disappeared inside.

***

            I started from my flashback as Amazing Grace was being played on the piano, Beth’s favorite instrument. At least, it had been.

            Tears slid down my face as I thought back to all our conversations, all our field trips, all our birthday parties. Beth and I met when she was 7 and I was 6; our moms were best friends so we saw each other almost every day. Even though I was younger I was always very protective of her.

            Beth came to all my birthday parties, my youth group meetings, and whenever I was sick. Likewise, I went to all her volleyball games, helped her highlight her hair, and held her when she cried.

            We were as close as glue and paper. When I took longer than usual getting ready, jumping in my car, picking her up and bringing her to youth group Beth would always laugh and say, “It doesn’t matter whether your hair is gelled or not, Caleb; what counts is the heart.”

            Going on vacations with my family were always funner with Beth along. She was like a sister to me, my older brother, Mike, and my younger sister, Lizzie; and she was another daughter to my mom and dad. Everybody loved her,

            We got in big trouble together, rejoiced together, and hung out together for eleven years. She lived a block away so we’d ride bikes to visit each other, and usually rode across the big Maumee River and through the woods to the side of it.

            Her house and yard were huge; the best place to build snow forts, igloos, and have snowball fights.

            She worked at Build-A-Bear in the mall; you can guess what I got for Christmas every year. Once a week I’d pick her up and she’d choose a restaurant to eat at, then I’d pick a movie playing at Wayne Street Theater.

            Nothing would be the same without her. No more blaming my best friend about something I did and then laughing at it months later. No more spinning her in my arms on the beach and then throwing her into the ocean. No more sledding on our roofs and never breaking a bone; or a sled. No more–

            I was interrupted by a tap on my shoulder. Looking up I saw Beth’s younger sister, Sam, staring at me with huge blue eyes.

            “Mom wants you to go in front of us,” she said quietly, and walked back over to where Mrs. Hamel and their eldest child, Mark, stood; all very sober with faces that were tear-stained.

            Standing up I pulled a little on my dressy dark jeans, straightened the tie I’d worn just for Beth, and walked up to my best friend’s velvety purple casket. The steps seemed like miles and my palms started to sweat as I heard the sirens going off in my head…

***

            I woke up to someone banging on our front door. Rolling out of bed I ran to my window and pushed back the curtain. In front of the house were police cars.

            Pulling on a pair of jeans over my boxers I wiped the sleep out of my brown eyes and fell down the stairs where mom, dad, and Lizzie all stood, talking with a huge policeman.

            “…got in a bad car accident. The people in the other car are fine; just bruises and a scare; but I’m afraid Bethany was rushed to the hospital…”

            After that everything went hazy: we drove to Wayne Hospital, found Beth’s room, I saw her lying on a stark-white bed (she hated white) and then I broke down sobbing. She couldn’t get in a car crash! She couldn’t be in the hospital! She couldn’t… die.

            We waited hours until I was finally allowed to go inside her room. Her face looked pale and thin; tubes came out of her arms and ended in a machine. I walked up to her bedside after wiping my eyes and cheeks.

            But she knew as soon as she saw my face that I’d been crying. She reached for my hand and, trembling, I held hers tightly. We didn’t talk, just stared into each other’s eyes, afraid to voice our thoughts and dreads.

            Half an hour passed that way, until the nurse came in and informed me I had to leave. I wanted to stay with Beth; hold her hand for an eternity; never leave her side. But she smiled, one last brave smile, and glanced at the door then back at me.

            As soon as our hands broke their hold I knew that would by my last time…

***

            Her face looked even paler than it had in the hospital, and her expression was one I’d never seen before nor would ever see again. I had a sudden impulse and reached over to touch her cheek; it was rough and freezing.