My Own Demise: Part 3

I stood there smoking my cigarette as Jay continued rolling the joints. I don't know how many he was rolling. Watching him all I could think about was if he had marjiauna in his bag.. What was in Tom's? Mary sat up on the bed taking me out of my thoughts.

"So when are you gonna score some ice Jay?"

"When I can find Martin again."

"Where are you gonna get the money at this time?" she asked looking down at her fingernails. "Your mom will kick you out if you take it from her again."

"She's not going to kick me out." he said never looking up from his work.

"I thought Martin was hanging down at the River." Tom joined in.

"He was staying at Dion's house, but the cops raided him out." Mary told him getting up and going to sit on his lap.

"The cops didn't raid him out." Jay said "Dion moved to Florida."

"Whatever." Mary said with a roll of her eyes. "Give me one of those."

Jay got up and passed the small rolled papers out. Giving me mine last. "This is the good stuff your in for a treat."

We lit up, it felt weird holding something that was half the size of a cigarette and trying to smoke it. I had no idea what I was suppose to do so I just mocked Mary who looked like she had been doing it all her life.

"When you inhale it, keep it in your lungs as long as you can." she said noticing me watching her. "You'll get a better high."

I did what she told me, inhaling as deep as I could through the tiny hole, feeling kinda silly as I stood there holding my breath untill I couldn't hold it any longer before letting it out.

We continued on this way for a couple minutes and then Mary got up off Tom's lap and turned on the radio.

Loud rock music filled the air.

I moved over to sit beside Jay who was sharing the ashtray. We all talked about school, how much they hated it. We talked about our families and problems at home. We talked about scoring, ok, they did. Whenever they talked about something I didn't know about I just pretended to act like I did.

I was laying on my back in the floor with my second joint when Tom came over to me and handed me something. It was dried, it looked like a mushroom.

"It's a shroom preppy." Mary said with a giggle.

I guess she noticed me wondering what it is. Without thinking I stuck it into my mouth and began to chew.

It tasted like a normal mushroom..

"Give me another one." I said feeling kinda hungry.

"No, one's enough." Jay said taking my joint.

"Hey!" I exclaimed sitting up.

"You can't hog it all, your already on your second one." he said sounding like he was scolding a child.

"I'll score for you!" I said getting all excited from the pot and the shroom.

"Your high. Just chill." He said bending down and kissing my forehead.

His kiss felt good. I wanted him to kiss me again. He didn't though, he just went downstairs to get some food.

I dug the second cigarette from my pocket, lit it and laid back down on the carpet, ashtray beside me. Jay brought chips and sodas, but I just laid there.

Enjoying the trip I was on.

After eating we all piled into Tom's truck and went to the gas station for cigs. Mary offered to get mine, since she was already eighteen. I gave her some money and went to browse around the store with Jay.

We ended up in a back corner of the store where they had left over fourth of July stuff. "Oh my God!" I exclaimed. "They have colored sparklers!"

Jay laughed and said they were old.

"I don't care I'm gonna get some." I said with a grin.

He took them from me and stuck them in his inside jacket pocket. "I'll get them." he said with a smile.

I smiled back, but I wanted to tell him no.

We left the store and headed back to Jay's house. His mom was home from work.

"Hey kids." she said with a warm smile.

Jay didn't look like his mother at all. She had bleached blonde hair where his was dark brown. Brown eyes, where his were blue. She was pretty though. She looked young. Alot younger than my parents.

Vicky told us to stay and eat dinner. I was the only one who called their parents to tell them where I was. My parents were going out to a friend's house for dinner, taking my sister with them.

They didn't care that I wasn't coming home.

We hung out in the living room, smoked and watched tv untill dinner was ready. After dinner we went out into the back yard and lit the stolen sparklers.

We joked, the boys chased us. It was fun. I felt like I belonged. Before I left to go home Jay took me aside.

"Come with me tommorow."

"What are we doing?"

"Finding Martin."

"Ok."

"Do you have any money?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Thought you might want to help out."

"I do."

"Bring fifty bucks."

It was then I realized that I did belong, as long as my money came along with me.