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Nanashi's Tale Chapter 1
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Note before you read: Of course the story is fake, but any similarities between anyone and a character is pure coincedence and was not intended. Now that I have that little tidbit out of the way, enjoy.
I stood atop a hillside, looking at the world with malice and hatred filling my soul. My name is Nanashi Tenin. I hate my name, it does not at all describe me, in fact it means the opposite of me. 'No-Named Angel', that's what it stands for. What a joke. If that were true, why am I able to hate something so much to have a demon be born out of it? I am on a journey, to purge this world for good. As I got to the top of the hill, the hatred started to fill in me again. I remembered my past once again, and blacked out to relive it...
I was seven years of age, when my family sold me into slavery. Being a necromancer, I was worth a lot of gold. Necromancers are valued for their ability to reanimate the dead. My blood-red eyes filled with crimson tears as I was shackled behind the buyer's horse. The tears fell onto my long, silverish-blue hair. The man jumped on his horse and took off, dragging me behind.
After being drug about three miles, we reached the man's house. The man came around to unshackle me, but I was on the ground. Already bruised and cut from being drug on the dirt for so long, he yanked me up by my hair. He undid the shackles, and drug me inside, still gripping my hair. He went straight to the first wall of the main room in the house, and slammed my head into it. The force of the blow busted my head open. I slid back to the ground as a mixture of blood and crimson tears ran down my face. The pain running through me was immense, I was about to pass out from it.
"Boy, if you don't get up, I'm going to rip your eyes out, and the your throat. Is that clear?"
I struggled to my feet. Just when I had stood back up, the man backhanded me across my face and knocked me back to the ground.
"You say 'Yes master' when I tell you something. Is that clear you pathetic little bastard?"
"Yes master."
I struggled once again to my feet. I finally gotback up once again. It was taking everything I had not to pass out. I stood straight up once again, and he back-handed me across my face again. I fell back to the ground.
"Boy, you had better learn your place here. I didn't say you get could get back up. Now you get your ass up, before I step on that little neck of yours."
"Yes master."
I was fighting the blackness starting to overtake me from the pain and blood-loss. I slowly stood back to my feet. I stood up as straight as I could and looked him in the eyes.
"Well shit boy, you gotta strong body on you for only 7. You're exactly the type of person I need for my business. In fact, someone's already paid for an hour's worth of time with you."
The man took out a cloth and tied it tight over my eyes, and tied some rope around my hands. Right after he had got done tieing me up, a knock sounded at the door. I could hear the man walk over to the door and answer it. I heard someone's voice other than the man's, and the sound of coins rattling. The new person walked up to me. I could smell heavy whiskey on his breath. He was drunk and wanting to beat something. I heard his shirt ruffle as he raised his fist up high...
One more note from me: If you enjyed so far, let me know, and I'll put more up. Don't be afraid to say if you like it or not.
Comments
| On September 5th 2007 sammies843 Said : | |
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please tell mw that there is more than what you've done so far... :P |
| On September 5th 2007 theguru469 Said : | |
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Good job man, really well told |
| On September 4th 2007 CaPlanePourToi Said : | |
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Darn! I read them out of order. Well, again, it's very good and interesting. Try to add more sensory details; like when the man ties the blindfold over the boy, add in how he felt when his world suddenly went black, or maybe the ropes on his hands cut into his flesh and made it slippery.
And the beginning paragraph starts out "I stood atop a hillside"...but later on the speaker says "As I got to the top of the hill..."
Anyway, hope I could help. People run away from me in English because I'm such a hard editor. I love the story, so keep me posted!
Kate |
| On September 4th 2007 masondyer2010 Said : | |
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i like this story, im usually not into that genre but you delivered it in an enjoyable way, keep it up
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| On September 4th 2007 Biggun221 Said : | |
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I reposted because of too many BS comments. If you're gonna criticize it the bad way, at least make it constructive. |


