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BiAnIcole

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" BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP"

i was so cold, and i felt as though i was being pricked by things. where the hell am i? i tried to move my hand but there was somthing wound around both of my wrists, so i tried to move my feet but they were wound down as well. it was hard to open my eye's. they seemed like they were glued shut.

i let a scared cry out.

"ceena?, baby are you awake?" i heard my mother crone from the right.

i cried some more unable to let the words come out of my mouth.

"honey hold on im getting the doctor" i felt my mother's presence receed from the room sending a gust of wind over my cold body. i could feal the dress like shirt covering me. i could feal the cold metal beneath my wrists. i was so scared and my heart started to race.

i let out more cries struggling to free my feet and wrists from whatever was there to bound me down. i pulled harder and harder at my eyelids trying to make them open but they wouldnt budge.

"ceena stop that" i heard a voice from the corner of the room at first i couldnt figure it out.

"help" i croaked out in a low voice i barely could here. so i continued to struggle.

"ceena wait for mom to get the doctor" that had to have been matt my oldest brother.

"help me" i began to sob a little louder. the tears rushed to my eye's. why was he just sitting there when im here scared out of my mind not knowing where i am? my eye's became extremly moist and i can fell my eye's slowly start to loosen up. with a final pull my eyelids snapped open revealing a bright light to me. it took a few seconds before my eye's adjusted to the light and i could begin to  make out everything in my view.

blinking my eye's to release the built up tears i could see a tiled ceiling above me.

"BEEP,BEEP,BEEP,BEEP" where was that stupid beeping coming from?! i looked to my right to see one of those wierd machines you see on tv where someone gets put in the hospital and it gets hooked to them to monitor there heart rate. am i in a hospital?! omg! i turned to my left to face my brothers all lined up agianst the wall all watching what looked like a tv mounted on the wall out of the corner of my eye.

"wha" my voice was hoarse and it hurt to speak.

brett ,one of the twins, slowly turnt his gaze on me and his face lite up with surprise. he jumped to his feet and rushed towards what i assumed as a bed i was laying on.

"holy shit ceena, are you really awake?" his face was in complete shock staring down at me.

"where" was all i got out before my throught closed up and i began to cry and the vision of my brother became blurred . i could feal the rumble of chairs being slid and i could feal the presence of 3 more people to my left and another to my right.

"oh ceena, my star look at me" now that voice made the tears dry up and myself calm as i looked to the right the silhoutte of my grandmother came into view.

"gram" my voice was becoming steadier as the more i spoke.

"hi my little star, i was wondering when you'd wake up" she smiled down on me weakly, never in my life have i seen gram look so weak.

"what's going on?" i asked gram, she looked as though she was about to cry.

"ceena there's alot"

"i swear this time she really is awake i know it!" i heard the door open and my mothers shrill voice follow

"im sure it's just another spout of brain activity" i heard a mans voice that sounded clear and professional.

gram stepped aside while saying "have a look for yourself"

now in clear view i could see my mother standing next to a stocky guy wearing a gray dress shirt, a silver striped tie, black khakis, and a white lab coat with a clipboard hanging at his sides with his hands.

"well ceena i see that you trully are awake, im gunna have to send in some nurse's to examinen her and she that everything is working properly" he said in a crisp voice.

that made me mad, why wouldnt i be working properly

"listen here bub I AM WORKING COMPLETELY FINE THANKS, i dont need anymore holes poked in me, and i would like to find out why the hell im even here" i spat out at him.

"but its pro-"

"i dont give a crap what it is, and can you please untie me here before there actually is something wrong but not with me" i glared at the doctor waiting for him to do something.

"trust me you cant do crap with those things on sis" sal said from my left.

"just wait wise ass" i turned and glared at sal.

"oh she is deffiantly fine" my mother said and i turnt to look at her smiling down at me, she looked so old and tired.

"fine i will send a nurse in immediatly to take those off but only if they can do the test's" the doctor looked down his nose at me on the bed and sighing as though was about to lose a game of poker.

"alright, whatever gets these things off my wrists" i said leaning my head back on the pillow and closing my eye's.

"boys i need you to leave the room for a minute so that me and your grandmother can talk ceena" my mother said to my brothers sweetly.

i looked over at the line of my older brothers, god do they all look the same, i look so different from them, so out of place.

matt who was closest to me ruffled me head and said "smile" before he walked and left me to the nagging truth.

i looked over at my mother and grandmother, they even look exactly the same.

gram took a seat in the chair next to the wierd machine.

"what going on?" i asked kind of scared of what they might say.

"ceena you" my mother moved closer to me and took my hand in hers " you were raped" i looked at my mother taken aback

"i-i" wham it all came rushing back from those 3 words spoken from my mother. i remember him on me crushing me agianst the cold metal of the bus walls his weight baring down on me , the discomfort welling up inside me as i struggled and struggled, him taking away something that rightly belonged only to me and was the only true thing i had to offer, and then his fist colliding with my face ...darkness. where was i? i dont remember anything till this point.

i stared blankly at the brightly colored wall in front of me. i barely registered the door opening, i was taking this whole situation in.

"ceena?" a male voice boomed over me

"ceena?" there i was agian

i snapped out of my trans to look over at the doctor from before.

"you promise not to hurt yourself if i take these off? or they go back on" the doctor said carefully, placing one hand on a strap.

"yeah, i promise" i said in a low voice.

"alright" they doctor began to loosen the straps and after a minute both of my arms and legs were free.

"thank you" i said rubbing at the irritated skin on my wrists.

"no problem, well i think that you and your mother have more to talk about, so i will leave you to it and when you done call a nurse so they can do the examine" the doctor politely exited the room and i was faced by my mother and grandmother.

"ceena hunny theres a few things we need to talk about" my mother spoke

i just looked down not wanting to make eye contact ashammed of myself and what i must look like.

"first off about your father and i-"

"were is he anyway?" suddenly remembering he wasnt here i looked up at my mother to see her reaction

"honey your father and i are getting a divorce" she said pretty calmly

"mommy listen i can be better i promise, ill do more chores and get a job and help with everything, please dont do this though" i pleaded

"baby its not you" my mother stroked my hair " me and your father have just grown apart and we think its for the better"

"how is this gunna work, you cant do this, you cant split us up, were a family"

"ceena sweetheart thats another thing i need to talk to about as well, we've decided, your father grandmother and i that is, that your are going to stay with your grandmother for awhile in new york, they have some really good treatment center there for young people just like you" oh god she sounded like she was trying to sell me a home.

"young people like me? i get raped and then classified as a certain class of people?!" my voice rose

"no hunny its not like-"

"im not something that you can fucking throw away when it gets broken mom, i can get threw this i dont need some stupid people to tell me how to live my life"

"ceena lee you will watch how you talk to your mother" my grandmother rose from her seat with fierceness in her eye's burning a hole rite threw me.

"but-"

"but nothing, if you would listen to your mother for one second she is not trying to send you away because your broken she is just trying to help you get better" my grandmother moved forward grasping my wrist and tugging it upward into my view, all down my both of my arms were the nasty reminders of every bad moment in my life forever apart of me.

"you are coming to live with me in New York and that is final"

this is one of many battles i know im going to be losing with my grandmother.