He shit his pants at work

He took another drag from his cigarette and at the very moment of doing so he felt intense pain in his lower abdominal. Thinking nothing of it he continued smoking. Suddenly the distress was over him like a wet blanket on a hot summer night. There was no escaping the sensation of immediate danger.
He dashed to the bathroom as fast as his fat legs would take him. Not fast enough. He pulled his pants down only to shit inside of them. The warm fecal matter ran down his thighs, to his underpants and then onto soil his blue jeans.
In shock now, but still in distress he sat down on the now filthy toilet seat. everything just seemed to be covered in shit at this point. The door still open this man did not care who walked in.

Finally when he was sure he could safely stand without the worry of the muscles in his anus atrophying he stood and closed the bathroom door. Now he had to figure out what he was going to do about all of this. The fact that he was at work was exciting. He knew he would get alot of attention out of this and he loved attention whether good or bad. He would purposely do things wrong, or get hurt just to be yelled at. He was one of the laziest workers, but often would call other people lazy.. this was just a sign of his own stupidity.

He discarded his soiled underpants into a trash can in the same way a woman might dispose of an unwanted child.
After scrubbing his pants he was confident enough to find someone to tell who he knew would tell everyone. He located someone he knew he would never be able to trust and asked him for cologne. Unsure of what to make of this the gate keeper enquired why he needed cologne. "Look, Gatekeeper, I just shit my pants." Immediately gatekeeper ran off and told everyone.
"Now everyone will know" He thought to himself. This aroused him. Knowing that everyone in the factory would know that he couldn't control his bowels at work made him hard.

He was so happy that captain Harry sold him the rotting deer meat and sausages. If it was not for him he would never be able to have so much attention. He laughed about it and then when he thought people were forgetting what he did he would remind them.
He especially loved that he smelled heavy of shit that night. He liked it when the Asians would walk by and smell his odor. He nearly came in his pants when the third shift cell leader came in and noticed his scent.

At the end of the day the only thing that could top this now would be to purposely get hit in the head with a robot arm attachment. This was the best way for more attention. Then after trying to get work man's comp while being  atemp and making the company insurance rise he was replaced and quickly terminated.

Everyone was very happy about this. This was something they all had been anticipating.

The end