Life As it Was

Yes the clock has ticked over and young Dave (thats me) has found himself placed infront of the old PC drawing in the glowing beams of radiation which now flows through his body.
He sits and wonders...

Lost in somewhat of a vison for the future he weighs up the expectation of society and thinks should he make a stand.....meh who could be bothered really, if they really expect you to be that perfect person that they couldnt be than they can get stuffed....Cause all this simple minded boy can see is a life lived by each day.. no immediate plans just where the tide of life drags his dreary soul....

oh its just one of those hours where the brain goes into overload and you need to type write say yell convulse out whatever is flowing around my mind at the present moment... but lucky you have been piced to receive it all in one massive hit.. so i hope you enjoy..

Most of the time it can be senseless rambling but usually something of interest does pop up..but these days it is a rarity...I remember the days where i used to sit in class and write pages and pages of thoughts, and would fail all my subjects bar english and creative writing..woot..lol how random is that, but in all honestey it sorta gives a feeling of ecstasy just feeling all these thoughts flowing though my body and fliying at a million miles out my fingers, so i apologise for any bad spelling...i dont really care...

I have come to the realisation that i dont need to listen to people who try and tell me what i should and shouldnt do, but will respect any opinion that they may give, cause though you may not agree with them, the basis on what they may be saying might come in use later down the track...or i could just be as ignorant as a brickwall....lol

Not really much thought going it to this at the moment, but then that could be cause of the females i have ever been close and intamate and shared my inner most being with (this doesnt include sex...that came later) have completley torn that into shreds and left a gaping hole, but what is worse is that i know have several emotional wounds thanxs to these females and it is very hard to recover from....especially if you happen to run into one of them at a Random Pub and her best friend starts punching you then crying then hugging you then starts punching you again..hmm issues there...but back to the point..she turns round and tells me that she would give me a second chance if i did something with my life....what the fuck...this is the girl i gave 3 years of my life and a whole lot more and she has the nerve to say that....i wasnt a happy boy....but to make things worse she saide the l word..yes she said she still loved me and to a guy emotionally distraught...that just made things a hell of a lot worse........so yeah..

So that leaves me knowe in the plain simple condition that im in....one complete and utter emotional wreck..with nothing to show for it but the abillity to have a huge bitch about it to someone random who can give me an honest opinion about it...

There is not enough alcohol in this country to cure me of this shit... and oh hell i have tried...

well a 12  months ago i wish that i had taken the quick fix... but now what the hell do i do....im litereally on the out side looking in and it sucks...im like invisible to the world except when they want to dump all there problems on me, so know i walk around with all their bullshit..which makes me feel even worse...but hey...no..there is no but...i just sucks...