At 11:31 pm Alastyr Said :	0
	Every author has to have their own distinct style.

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	In response to gabbes At 11:23 pm Alastyr Said :	0
	Well, that's why I'm seeking people's thoughts. I've not officially started on the final version yet...all these samples come from summarized forms of the books and early editions of my style.

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	At 11:18 pm gabbes Said :	0
	again..... i tried to read. your "explanations" because that is what they are, are too involved. they slow the story down. Secondly, and I hate to do this, but your style of writing, though cohesive, is halting and slugish. It makes me stop every second to work out not only what your saying, but to simply read from action to action. there is no smoothness here. no rhythm..... jesus alstyr, i'm not going to say this sucked, because it didnt. but what i will say is that it need work. refinement. you need to take some time and make it lighter, make it somewhat superfical and yet, be descriptive, catch the attension without holding it in one spot every ten seconds

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	In response to gabbes At 11:09 pm Alastyr Said :	0
	*nods* I thought you were referring to my having the embodiment of elements..

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	In response to gabbes At 11:08 pm Alastyr Said :	0
	*nods* Try out the battle sample. I start out with describing scenes heavily, then I concentrate on character motion and speech types.

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	At 11:08 pm gabbes Said :	0
	ahhh, but you are giving it life. this is your story alstyr. never forget it. you must craft it into the best example of perfection you can pull from your mind

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	At 11:07 pm gabbes Said :	0
	you need to take time and think more about your word choice. you need to be more descriptive and use different words. you get hung up too easily on the little things and you have a slightly immature way of setting your scene. this assesment could be pulled from my writing style, my way of looking at things. but if you read from great writers such as Lustbader and King, Bradley and Atansio...... you really get to see how descriptive and yet fast moving these stories are. A well written story has to flow, but it must catch the reader as well

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	In response to gabbes At 11:04 pm Alastyr Said :	0
	Hmm....perhaps you might enjoy the battle sample. But I'm not the one giving things life. I'm just going based on various mythologies.

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	At 11:03 pm gabbes Said :	0
	i've read stories like this before..... not in the actually meat and potayoes sence, of the story itself, but the structural foundations. how you've gone about placing your words, explainig things, giving things life..... I have a problems with it alstyr. i'm sorry, but i've read too many book in my life time and I've read a number of writings like this.

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	At 11:01 pm Alastyr Said :	0
	Ah......reading difficulty a little too high?

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