Robert Cornhole

The famed discoveror of teeth! What a great man! (Actually made up by Stephen Colbert last night) if anyone here saw that episode (which is likely since Colber's a crazy commy) then they know what I'm talking about. This is here because Wikipedia already denyed the creation of an article on Dr. Cornhole, so here it is. Robert Cornhole was born in the Antarctic, underground, to a mother whose side were Penguin-Mole People, and whose father was an Antarctic explorer (and also bit off Mike Tsyon's ear, but Mike Tyson being part lizard and all it grew back) so he was already of prestigous heritage. Robert Corhole later moved to the United States (because it's the greatest continent in the world) in search of a brick-cleaning job, this being the only trade he could learn in the Antarctic since there was really nothing else to do there but build igloos. He found a job under an angry Irish woman in boston, but she tried to kill him so he had to leave when he was nineteen. After this he heard of the wonderful world of Baseball. He also turned out to be a prodigy in this area, since he made many snowballs in the Antarctic. He was recruited by the New Berlin Turd-Mesiters (also fictional) and became their best pitcher. After years and years of pitching he finally was hit in the mouth by an angry German-American batter who was struck out, and nobody had invented the dentist yet, so Robert just did his best and fixed it himself. While he was doing this, he realized he had hard calcium-like things jutting things in his mouth which everyone before him had just passed off as pieces of corn, and showed everyone. They all freaked out, and over time his legacy has been deeply pressed into our history, him being the reason for the tooth fairy, braces, and other things. One unwanted result, the dentist, made everyone want to forget him, which is why nobody has heard of him before thew heroic Stephen Colbert has taken a stand and made him known to the public. Robert died of the normal-teeth disease which is why English and most European people live longer. THE END!