Dear Diary ...

Wednesday 15th October 2008 -

Today has probably been the most embarrassing day I’ve had in months. First off, the person I thought was one of my most closest friends has, from what I’ve heard, told some people at school that I’m crushing really hard on a guy called Ricky. They in turn told other people, and those people told others - like it was some kind of infectious disease. Students, especially Freddie and Matthew for some reason, started to question me if I liked Ricky or not. And I, being the coward, denied it, when in truth I absolutely adored him. The reason to why I denied this was because it would be rather embarrassing to admit it as he and I belong to the same sex group.
At break, Ricky decided he’d screw with me and began to play with my feelings - even though he didn’t know he was actually playing with it. He started of asking how I am and ending up a minute later begging to go out with me. This was obviously fake as he laughed all the way through it. And even though I didn’t look it, I was on the verge of tears.
Tomorrow will be absolute hell. This is because I have History on that day; one of the two lessons that I have with him in it. It’s quiet frustrating really. Thinking about it makes my stomach churn uncomfortably and also makes my hairs stand on end, a.k.a. Goosebumps. Because of this day, I have started ... Cutting again. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to heal from this depression.