In response to RAdNuDdOeM At 08:23 am browneyes33 Said :	+1
	I am glad you are willing to open your mind to new ideas. I agree that communication is key. Without communication/explanation the child will see punishment as nothing more than punishment. They need to know why they are being punished. Like you said, they need to understand the affects that their behavior could have on them and others.

Online

Reply Spam | Block User

	In response to madmarcus At 02:04 am RAdNuDdOeM Said :	+1
	i wasn't trying to ignore Your comment. i did notice it and found it fascinating. i had never heard this concept of 'positive punishment' before. It takes my mind in new directions, and i adore anything that can do that.

Online

Reply Spam | Block User

	In response to RAdNuDdOeM At 02:00 am madmarcus Said :	+1
	then you would know that the main idea is flawed. as I have stated. right. Positive and negative reinforcement and possitive and negative punishment. ah fuck it no body cares. we'll simplifiy it to "when your good you get treats when your bad you get punished."

Online

Reply Spam | Block User

	At 01:55 am RAdNuDdOeM Said :	+1
	i haven't studied all of the texts on this issue but i have had this conversation with some of the worst criminals You can imagine, and my conclusions are based on what i've learned from them.

Online

Reply Spam | Block User

	At 11:23 am MissBrooke520 Said :	0
	i think you need a balance of both. if you use to much neg. then your child will rebel, but if you use to much positive then they with think nothing will ever wrongfuly hurt them. im taking psycology this year in school and from what i understand in my psycology book, thats what you should do. if you do everything neg. then your child will have neg. personality and low self-esteme. its really complicated, i also think that it depends on the kid. ex. me if you try and use negative reinforcement with me i get mad and want to rebel, you do the same thing to my brother and he crys, and gives up on everything and quits.

Offine

Reply Spam | Block User

	In response to RAdNuDdOeM At 10:09 am browneyes33 Said :	+1
	You speak about children as tho' their thinking is logical, it's not. Children feel invincible, they don't believe playing in the street can hurt them, Especially if they have played in the street 10 times prior and nothing bad happened. They think their parents are being mean not allowing them to do something they want to do. They don't understand they could be seriously hurt, but they do understand, *If they play in the street they are going to get grounded and lose their game play for a week.

Online

Reply Spam | Block User

	In response to RAdNuDdOeM At 09:05 am browneyes33 Said :	+1
	No, I don't think "almost" having an accident is worthy of a punishment. However that would depend on the situation. If it is a child that plays in the street often knowing they are not suppose too, then yes... They should have consequences for their actions. I strongly believe you should talk to your children about how they feel, helping them to understand why they shouldn't do whatever it is they have done at the time. I also feel a child needs rules and consequences for breaking those rules. They need to know Mom and Dad are there to guide them and protect them. Studies have shown that children that have rules and consequences feel more secure and confident (higher self-esteem). A child without rules and consequences may feel everything is chaotic in their life, Not feeling anyone is in charge leading them to not feel unprotected. I happen to agree with those studies, based on my own life experience. You keep bringing up communication. I never said I didn't think there should be open communication, in-fact I think that communication comes first. I also think that through communication you explain to your child why the rules are in place and what consequences they will face if they don't follow them. And yes I agree they are humans with a brain and giving them rules helps teach them to make good choices. Children make decisions based on impulses, irrational thinking, giving them consequences helps motivate them to make the right decisions.

Online

Reply Spam | Block User

	At 10:35 pm RAdNuDdOeM Said :	0
	*his/her first *WORD*..."

Online

Reply Spam | Block User

	In response to deadpoet At 10:27 pm RAdNuDdOeM Said :	0
	i need an example of what You mean by something they shouldn't've done. Punishment can't be the only thing that make an act wrong. Understanding is more important. If a child is being mean to others then the parent probably waited till they thought the child was 'old enough' to understand. Children understand a lot more than "grown ups" seem to think. It has been proven that by the time a child speaks his/her first they have an understanding of about a hundred other words. If parents start teaching their kids earlier than they would be more likely to understand the rules that are in place and less likely to break them, or so that's what most known criminals will tell You.

Online

Reply Spam | Block User

	In response to browneyes33 At 10:12 pm RAdNuDdOeM Said :	+1
	So, if they almost hurt themselves do You hurt them to teach them not to hurt themselves in the future? If the little boy almost runs into the street in front of a car You always pull him back, of course, but do You spank him, or take some privilege away? And why? Now there are positive and negative consequences to everything, if we want to get technical. And, the word "consequence" in the context of this thread seems to be of the negative, or less pleasant, variety --am i right? And thus, what unpleasant consequence should we visit on the child i mentioned above, and why? i'm not talking about lectures. i'm talking about one on one communication. Talking to the child as if s/he is a human with a brain capable of grasping a concept. Most people who like themselves aren't mean to other people. If my child notices that i treat him or her like they are more than just their age and like i'm their friend he or she is more likely to care about themselves, which will make him/her less like to be unhappy and take that out on anyone. What are the consequences of disciplining a child? For the parent.

Online

Reply Spam | Block User