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What hurts...
The fact that I can no longer feel my dads hugs, his voice, or his kisses on my cheek. I miss the feeling of his unshaven cheek scratching mine. I miss the feeling of his voice calling out my name, and the sense of love that came from it. I miss the smell of him, that cologne he always used to wear; his signature scent. I miss seeing his smile. I miss combing his hair, the feeling of his silky hair against my hand, the vibrations of the brush on his scalp. I miss him reprimanding me when I walked out of the room without any sandals on, 'cause according to him, the floors were cold and I would get sick. I miss those moments when, I would bite my nails, and he put his foot on my leg and say, "You want some nails to eat? They taste good? Here are some nice toe nails, *wiggles toes* they're nice and long, just for you." I miss the way he put on his dentures in the morning, I miss the way he would zipper up my coat, and bundle me up. I miss the way we would watch movies together. That hurts the most. That was our thing...I'd recommend a movie, and he'd go out and buy it...He had a thing for scary movies. I miss the way he'd scare the crap outta me while we were watching scary movies, just by making a loud noise, or hitting me on the arm. I miss the way he'd tell me to go get some cakies, that they were there just for me. I miss the way he woke up in the morning with doughnut powder all over his face, and when I'd confront him with the empty doughnut box, he'd just tell me he woke up hungry. I miss the way he'd whoop my ass in computer games. And Sudoku. I miss the way he'd hit me with the back scratcher when we were play fighting. I miss the way he would tell me he loved me, and the way his hot breath felt against my ear. I miss it all. Especially his eyes. And his ears. And his hands. And his feet...Even though I'm crying as I write this, I'm smiling. A quote by Dr. Seuss comes into my mind.
Don't cry because it's over.
Smile because it happened. - Dr. Seuss.
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